You just tweeted "I think my idea of love must be extreme..." and that fucking hit me. so. fucking. hard. right in my chest. I was about to go back to sleep then I seent that.
I'm looking at that statement and I see how I've felt in every single one of my relationships, and how I felt after them. And I felt that it was my fault and I was doing something wrong because I thought I was just doing too much. I thought I was too much into a fucking fantasy.
I thought I was trying too fucking hard to play a hero in a movie, and have my woman be my partner. And
right now I'm really debating on whether or not to text you. I don't know whether or not you'd feel disrespected. Whether or not you'd be okay with it. I feel like I'd be pushing boundaries.
You didn't reply to my last text so I'm not going to do it. But if I did write you a text, it would have gone like this:
You 100% don't need to reply to this, but I really want to say this to you. I don't know how you feel about this but
I saw you tweet something, and it really hit me hard. You said "I think my idea of love must be extreme..."
Please, do not change your idea of Love. Don't let Love be anything less than what you envision it to be. Please.
In every relationship I've ever been in, that tweet was how I felt throughout the whole time and afterwards. After every relationship that ended badly, that's what I blamed on it.
I blamed the fact that my idea of Love was so much more than the other person in the relationship and Bree, that's not a way to live.
I need you to know that there's nothing wrong with Loving a Love that is so extreme that most people don't understand. And if whoever you Love doesn't understand then maybe they're not the one you should Love.
Maybe they're not the right one.
If someone can't give you the amount of Love you give them, back, then that's not right.
I really want you to be happy, Bree... And as long as you're with someone who doesn't Love you in as extreme a fashion as they Love you, then you're going to hurt.
You're going to feel a dissonance. You're going to feel like you're "feeling more than you're supposed to"
But there's not such thing as "feeling more than you're supposed to" You have a right to feel any kind of way that you may feel.
Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. It hurts me to see you in this state right now. I'm not going to say I understand exactly what you're going through because I'm not you, so that would be wrong to say.
But I will say that I know that being in a relationship where you feel that you're Loving too much harder than the other one, it's going to hurt.
Not only is it going to hurt, but you're going to blame yourself for it.
And that will make the hurt even worse... You'll start to think that you're "supposed to do less with your Love" and "supposed to do less with your Love"
but that's not the case.
You have to know that any Love you have, is never too much. It may be too much for a certain relationship, too much for a certain circumstance but never too much just to have.
It's never too much Love to posses, I know it feels like that, and it can feel like that even most the time, but don't believe it.
Please don't believe that you're too much.
If someone can't handle you, can't handle the amount of Love you have, can't handle what kind of Love you are,
then they don't deserve you.
There is nothing wrong with you,
they just can't handle the kind of Love you are...."
That'd be disrespectful to her relationship, disrespectful to her, and it just wouldn't be right. She probably would stop talking to me for a long time. And honestly, it's hard deciding whether or not she needs to hear this bad enough for it to be worth it. I just want her happy so fucking bad. I want her to smile and as long as someone is loving her in a way that hurts her, she's not going to be happy.