Your grandma always was an advocate of thorough preparedness. She would strongly advise staying not only armed to the teeth, but well equipped in the computational department. You've been taught you should really carry no less than 5 computers on you at all times, like a sensible person.
That certainly tracks for the Jade we know - but what doesn't track is her apparent insistence that you cosplay Lord English while you're at it.
I highly doubt that this was a mandate from Grandma Jade. No, I'm pretty sure there's been someone else influencing the young Mister English in her stead.
These were also inherited from your grandma.
...wait, so she did give you the cosplay computers?
The actual fuck?
In addition to being quite the globe trotting adventuress, she was rather enterprising as well. Her company made many products like this, to compete with the corporation owned by the cruel baroness who raised her.
I was initially worried that Grandma Jade was English's servant - but if she was, she wouldn't be competing with his other servant. She's clearly English's enemy, which makes it even more bizarre that she's using his imagery.
Damn it, Jade, you're just as inscrutable as your predecessor. Why did you give your grandson the name and appearance of your greatest foe - and also, come to think of it, how did you know about him in the first place?
I suppose her stepmother wasn't exactly tight-lipped. The Condesce cheerfully infodumped Homestuck's entire plot to Jane, back when she confronted her. Perhaps Jade initiated a similar confrontation, but was a lot more shrewd in her questioning, allowing her to glean a couple of secrets the Batterwitch never intended to let slip - something about the symbols surrounding her boss, and how to use them against him.
Is there something we don't yet understand about the name and nature of Lord English?
Jake, for god's sake. How are you typing on a coat?
Intimidating.
Silent.
And completely unreadable.
Bro Strider has returned to the stage.















