Jan 15, 2022
انت مش وحش عشان الناس تتجنبك، بس العلاقات دايما محتاجة مبادرة، زي ما انت خايف او محرج تكلمهم هما كمان خايفين، فـ شيل السماعات من ودنك وحط الفون في جيبك وبادر واتعرف ع البني آدمين :)
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انت مش وحش عشان الناس تتجنبك، بس العلاقات دايما محتاجة مبادرة، زي ما انت خايف او محرج تكلمهم هما كمان خايفين، فـ شيل السماعات من ودنك وحط الفون في جيبك وبادر واتعرف ع البني آدمين :)
Damn you ever just think about how life literally makes no sense and that you’ll never be the best at anything bc someone will always be better than you and it’s just no fun to always be the loser bc that’s me rn and I kinda feel like launching myself into the fucking sun alright gb and gn
Sometimes I kinda like not living by any societal timelines.
I’ve done things my own way. On my own clock.
People want you to feel bad about that. For a while, I did. Sometimes, I still do.
But if I’ve loved anything
It’s that this life has felt entirely my own.
In knowing that, I feel free.
There are still so many albums I didn't even listen to this year.
If only my sister understood that the whole reason I spend My time at our dads house is so I have people around me that i can connect with and not feel judged. At least my dad enjoys my company and doesnt try to shoot down the conversations I try to have with him. I like people around people and i desperately crave her attention the most out of everyone because she never hangs out with me. I love her so much and i want to have a good relationship with her. Fuck im 20 years old and she is leaving for boot camp next summer. I'm not going to see her for four months and its killing me inside. I cherish her the most out of everyone I know and it kills me that she doesn't ever want to hang out with me.
Its fucked up to say but I've genuinely thought of doing horrible things to myself because of how bad my depression gets when im at my mom's. Because no one wants to just hang out.
Today's been a nice and relaxing day.
Feels like any day now could be the day I follow through.
you wanted me to leave. you couldnt handle me right now. thats okay but im scared. i dont know when i can come back to you. like a dog at your feet ill come back at command. and im worried im losing my ability to think for myself. please call me back now - i cant handle being away.