#4mastalkaz

[bubblegum-tits]

a few thoughts from europe

travelling the world is beyond amazing. i never want to go home. i have seen things i never even dreamt i'd see one day. i miss my puppy a lot. i still get sad but it's less severe here. i can't wait to hug my best friend again. some nights you just need to relax even if you're in a new city. german is hard. the french talk fast. history is rich and divine and bloody and insane. snow crunching under your shoes is the best sound. europe has a lot of different toilets and flushing systems. i want to pet my puppy a lot. spain is wild. italians can eat. switzerland is potentially the most beautiful country. london is busy, annonymous and open late, i love it.

[bubblegum-tits]

today i woke up really sick and had an anxiety attack but luckily my best friend was there and he hugged me and put some relaxing music on and even went and bought me some codral and strepsils and when i woke up for work i was 10x better and I'm so so so grateful to have someone as lovely as that as a friend 

[bubblegum-tits]

I just got called for a job interview tomorrow at 1pm and i'm so goddamn nervous oh god. I hope i get the job it sounds awesome and i kinda wanna move into something more grown up tbh but I need to go buy adult  clothes now oh god. bye

[bubblegum-tits]

[bubblegum-tits]

"omg ily jet black hair, i'll never let my hair get that brown again!' *lets hair get that faded and brown again* 'it's not that bad, i'll just let it go for a few more weeks, i'm too lazy' *finally dyes hair*

and repeat.

[bubblegum-tits]

i am in such a good place right now, just everything is lovey and it sounds so cliche but i've had such a spiritual day and i have no idea what's caused it but i'm in such a good headspace right now and i'm so ready to get back up and get rid of worthless cunts who've dragged me down over the years and i'm just so ready for a new life, like, as i'm typin this i'm crying because i'm so happy and i don't even know. i'm just so happy and ready to just stop letting people break me i know i'm a good person and i know i deserve so much more than how i've been treated over the last bunch of years from certain people. i'm just so ready. work is wonderful, i'm getting the most hours out of anyone in store and the managers are saying that i'm doing such a good job and i literally love work so much. i sorted out my tax shit so i'm about to get just under $5000 and i'm going to start actually getting over $500 a week and i'm living and saving well on $300/w atm and it just makes me so happy. and to make everything better i'm moving out properly, i'm starting to buy things like ovens and cleaners and Tupperware and curtains and just the small things that remind me that i'm in control of my life and little things around me. i can do whatever i want. this is my life. and after all of this i am just so so SO fucking proud of myself for coming THIS FUCKING FAR in about two weeks. this time two weeks ago i was fucking in suicide watch checking into a hospital everyday and now.. i am just so happy and excited for what life is going to bring me and all of the adventures i can go on. i've just reached a whole new spiritual level today that i've been waiting for for years, i'm just getting rid of the current poisons in my life once and for all and it just feels so goddamn good. i'm living my life how i want it to be lived and i love myself.

[bubblegum-tits]

I get paid over 17 an hour now and this makes me happy (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[bubblegum-tits]

i don't usually find muscley guys overly attractive, but sleeping with a strong guys arm around you is such a ..unique and weird feeling. it's wonderful and it makes me feel so safe and secure and like nothing will ever hurt me ever again, it's just so, comforting. I've never had that feeling before and it's weird, like, it's so primal and just reminds me that I am a hUMAN BEING and have insTINCTS and shit and I don't know. shut your dirty whore mouths i am rambling here.