#5.4.13

[herdarkangel]

Here’s the Thing...

I love the idea of making love. I love the slow, passionate, intimate sex... When I inhale as you exhale. When I peer into your eyes as you look into mine, boring through my soul with just your touch and seduce it as you make me yours... I am hopelessly intrigued by the melding of our sexes as you thoroughly ravish me with love and fire and passion. I am at the mercy of that beautiful moment when I can feel your skin against mine, feel the energy of the universe as well as yours... feel you channeling all of that stamina into me as you enter my channel over and over and over again, until we are naught but two entities floating around in a space of our own still reaching, reaching... I love that. I love all of that, do not misunderstand me. But I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that my dark twin wants to play a little rough. She wants the merciless ravaging. She wants the sweet torture of not being allowed to come. She wants to be teased until she's out of her mind with pleasure-- until she cannot form coherent thoughts or come without you. She wants that hand closing off the air, the lips that steal even more, the cock that will not yield until all oxygen is stripped away from her lungs... Until you breathe it back into her. She wants to be spanked and punished and rewarded. She wants that shit. I have a soft, intimate side... But I also have a side to me that's metal as fuck. -K. Alecia

[alexeis-journal]

5.4.13

     The book suggestion I got from the douchebag was pretty good.

     Don't tell him that.

[thedumblyfe]

5.4.13

I started to watch Hannibal. 

It's like the combination of Sherlock and Dexter, except much, much darker and psychological. 

And I just watched episode 5 of it and I wanted to cry over Ms. Crawford. She reminds me a lot of myself. 

Poor baby, even though she's not even a major character in the series. I wanted to cry and hug her by the end of the episode. 

Stay strong, stay strong. 

[365days-of-thoughts]

May 4, 2013

IRON MAN 3!!!! 

Ugh but I got jealous so easily seeing you sit in the passenger seat of J's car like that.... damn I expected you to sit with me you know? And seeing you teasing her like that and just playing around with her... oh man.... Is it just because I'm insecure?? I want to trust you but we're just beginning our relationship and I don't know... Why do I get jealous so easily? And get so insecure about myself? I don't want to do this to myself but sometimes it's just like I think I don't deserve something this great... You're like the best thing I could ever ask for and sometimes I wonder what you think... When things aren't like how they used to be because we don't talk as much. I try not to think about it because we do talk when we're together and it's not like complete silence all the time but just sometimes I notice the silence and then I see how you are with others and how you smile at them and I wonder why you're not like that with me... and then today when you weren't holding my hand.... ugh I don't want to overthink this... hopefully it'll start going away....I guess I just wish you'd still say those cute things to me :/ 

[seungmoes]

[fiercefolly]

morning came or rather another nightmare left. there was something about blood donations in this one. i don't know what i dream about but i think my dreams know about me. i am in a coffee shop in powell's on hawthorne because i do not want to be at reed anymore, or, rather, i do not want to be paranoid about having to spend more time with ben. he called at seven, asked if i wanted pancakes. yes, yes, like another hole in the head. right through my third eye. i said i had already eaten, but he still wanted to walk around. lies, lies. i ate something i suppose, had to keep myself upright. someone had vomited in one of the showers. welcome to renn fayre. it's hard to get clean when you're in the shower stall next to the contents of someone's stomach. but i met ben because i couldn't say no. he walked veryveryvery close to me. up woodstock. to papachinos. there are trees lining the hill and i kept on edging away from him which meant i got very friendly with the shrubbery. he is kind but he comes on way too hard. he paid for my coffee, which was just odd and i did not enjoy it but i said thank you because you are supposed to say thank you when a boy buys you coffee. i asked him about souls. immateriality. he asked me if i wanted a relationship with justin. justin, justin, justin. my intellectual soul mate. if only i were attracted to him. he is the twin that must have died in my mother's womb. ben asked me what it was like when men stared at me. i shot off something about gaze theory and lacan. uncaffeinated lacanian mutterings, oh dear. he kept on asking about relationships and i said my head couldn't hold any more. he said it might help me to get out of my head. out of head, out of mind? he kept pushing it, so i told him about my problems with living. he tried to understand. i got to spout off my theories. i tried to understand. we paused on the blue bridge and watched the ducks. still coming on way too strong. wanted to see my room. fuck all. i just want to ache in peace. escaped. made a fool of myself in the gas station (where's the gas cap again?!). but now chamomile mint tea and people who don't know me. just like me. i am kinder when i don't think that people want something from me.