#5:09am

[tributemoney]

friday was the only day i worked last week and i kept seeing 2s. i also always seem to look up at the time when it’s exactly 5:09 which is my birthday. i hope this means good things are coming. i need a break.

[placeofmythoughts]

Today is December 22, 2024, currently 4:56am as I am typing now. I am currently beside lola feeding her oranges as she battle against cancer.. yes she was diagnosed with pyloric cancer earlier this year, exactly the day after I passed the boards.. around April 2024. The doctor said she might live for around 6 months... and it's been 8 months already.. I think her cancer is getting worse. 😢 She have lost a lot of weight, she's halucinating lately, showing signs of dementia..there are days when she'll recognize me, and days when not. I am telling myself to get ready, because I can see that she is physically tired and very exhausted. I just want to lay by her side and tell her that I'm here and it's alright. I already asked for forgiveness for every heartache I caused her and also said my thank you's for everyyyyyythiiiing that she has done for me, and I mean everything 😢. I have been crying for weeks, because her cancer is getting worse and her remaining days on earth may be numbered, or if it's the Lord's will to extend her life.

But anyways, I'm here to tell you that eventually everything worked out and fell into the right pieces. I can still remember how miserable I am a year ago, how dark the place was and how alone I felt.. but you know what? We eventually did it. YES, We passed the board exam and we got that MD 🥹, by God's grace. We also got married to the man of our dreams and.... we are also expecting a 👶🏻. It's a baby boy!!! Hihi. Excited to meet him next year February. We also explored new places this year, and event went to Hong Kong and Macau with Stephen. We landed on our first real job at CHO-CDO and also did a lot of moonlighting gigs. And guess what guurl, you upgraded your phone too!! To iphone 15 promax with your own hard earned money 😊. Looking back, if I can only tell my younger self not to be so hard on yourself and eventually things will work out. 🫶🏻♥️

[takesuhigher]

[possessed-nia]

first time using audacity and of course i made something kinda spooky out of random sounds i recorded months ago

[xix-alaska]

[bttbt]

I seriously don’t want to leave today… here I am. Sitting in the airport and the following is what goes through my mind.

I don’t want to go back to stress and the reality of how much life doesn’t seem to get better for me.

I want to give up.

I want to start over in a place where no one knows who I am or what my name is.

[weminence]

Day 134

I stayed home again because I got sick. So that’s great. I hate school. I don’t realize how much until I don’t have to go. I hate it. Seeing people who used to be your friends and knowing they see you too but they’re choosing to ignore you and pretend like you were nothing sucks. I cannot wait to move back to Colorado. 

Session: No

Music: Waker

Progress: Not a lot. I don’t actually think any. I did read though. I did join a writing group too and the members are nice so that’s cool. 

Goals for Tomorrow: Plan and finish my gov homework. 

[allanamarie]

when I was young I fell in love with you 🎈