#5:41pm

[literall-asshole]

impulsive decisions 😛

[ajyal-azez]

أُدلل ذاتي وأسرف في دلالها، أعلم أنْ وحدها من

تبقى معي وتصغي إليّ

[diaries-of-a-hopeless-soul]

Entry #20: August 7th, 2018 (5:41pm)

My emotions are really taking a toll on me. I'm getting lost in my head more often now. Usually it's an argument I picture in my head, or picturing myself venting to someone, but now it's nothing. It's gotten to the point where it's like white noise is all I hear. No, that's not really correct... White noise is something you can define because it's a noise. What I hear is silence. Yet I still feel all the negative emotions hitting me over and over, even when there's nothing to be heard. It's like screaming is space but no one can hear you. Even when I'm physically with someone, or talking to them about something, I suddenly just get lost in the endless expanse of my brain. Unable to hear or talk to anyone. All there is in there is all the negative emotions. It feels awful. Most nights I can't sleep now and I'm just in my brain. I don't know what to do anymore.

[fullcoffin]

drugs are not a solution, they are an escape. smoking weed is not a solution, it’s an escape. we cannot escape every day of our lives  (humanity is hardheaded, impulse resists reality) “what you want is usually wrong”

[singsstuckinmyhead]

Emergency- Nothing But Thieves

[horopter]

5:41pm

[bangsart]

[tigergoesrawh]

I’m sick of people caring so much I’m sick of people messaging me who I don’t want to I’m tired of life being half beautiful, but not quite enough to convince me it’s worth it I’m tired of being stuck in the same place I’m sick of being so late to start in life (My L’s, my P’s, getting a job, etc.) I feel so tired and useless I’m sick of not being completely myself Of not having the confidence to be who I am Of not having any self esteem I feel like dying just from walking and knowing other people around might see me I can’t do anything in front of people or sometimes even alone without feeling like crawling into a hole and burying myself I don’t try incase I suck Because at least if I don’t try and someone insults me, I can tell them I wasn’t trying But if I try and they pick on me, I have to admit I actually tried and it still wasn’t good enough I kind of want to die I kind of want to live and be me before I do I don’t want to die a shell of myself But I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to that place So I don’t know whether to die, stick it through, or try and have a 50/50 shot Try and make it Or try and still not. I hate myself so much.