Shattered Heart
Assalamualaikum, Who knew love could be so painful? I thought love was sweet but my thought was totally wrong. I didn't realise this until yesterday. My feelings were crushed because of her. But she's the reason why I changed for the better. She's the reason behind my wide smiles. Yesterday, I gave her chocolates and a letter to express my feelings to her anonymously. I was so excited because I finally got to express my feelings to her. I don't know how it happened but on that night, she told me on wechat ' Thanks for d chocolate'. The question, " How did she find out? " kept running in my mind. She said that it was her instinct but I felt that someone told her. My thought was right when I got to know that my friend told her. Ahhh I was supposed to confess to her after PMR. Why did she had to tell her that? Hmm if she didnt tell her, I would still have a chance. Then my crush said she only thought of me as a friend. Yeah, I was indeed friend zoned and got rejected but my close friends say she didn't reject me and I still have hope. I still want to believe that I have hope but I can't. This is all so painful. My feelings are all mixed up and its so hard to describe how I'm feeling. You all know how it feels right? So bitter. I felt self glorified when I wrote that letter. Its okay, who knows if she'd like me back one day. Hahaha well thats impossible. I can only manage to hope and pray for her to be mine. I was strengthening myself up to go to school and force a fake smile even though my heart was painful thinking about it. Its okay, maybe i didnt have any fate with her. Maybe I should just focus on PMR and studies for the time being. "I'm stupid.. but I guess it's my fault to think we could ever be more than just friends."