Title: You’re still my favorite ‘what-if’
“You don’t have to go,” Vic says, lip trembling.
Robert sighs, “Vic, we’ve been through this.” He walks over to the back of the car, placing the last box into the boot. He knows she’s hurting, the last time he’d left the village he hadn’t come back for eleven years; he knows it wasn’t fair to her. But this isn’t him running away, it isn’t. It’s him needing to move on, and there’s a difference. There is. When he’d left the first time, the village seemed like some dark shadow that followed him around, like a perceptual rain cloud. Coming back had been terrifying, no matter the façade he’d put up for everyone else.
“I know we have, but I don’t understand why you can’t move on here. With your family.”
“I can’t,” Robert says, shutting the boot door. “Seeing him every day, no matter how happy I am that’s he’s doing better. It’s killing me. –I can’t walk passed The Mill, without thinking about what I could have had. I can’t do it.”
Vic folds her arms across her chest, chewing on her bottom lip. “I don’t want you to go.”
Robert smiles, walking over to her, placing an arm around her shoulder. “It’s not forever,” He promises. He gives her a tight squeezing, knowing that even if it’s for the best, his breaking his sister’s heart.
“And hey, you can come and visit it whenever ya like. We can go to all those trendy restaurants, and you can nick their ideas.”
She laughs, eyes watering. She gently slips her hand into Robert’s intertwining their fingers together.
“You better pick up the phone every time I call. And you better come home for Christmas, and the re-opening of my new food truck.”
Robert nods, “nowhere else I’d rather be.”
He looks down at his watch, if he wants to make it to London before dark, he needs to leave, it’s now, or never.
She pulls away, hand still gripping him tightly “I hope you find what you’re looking for Rob."
“Thanks, Vic, I love ya.”
She sniffles, using the end of her sleeve to whip her eyes “I love you too.”
Robert takes a deep breath, steels himself and gets into the car. He starts the ignition and pulls out of the driveway, giving Victoria one last glance in the rear view mirror before pressing down on the gas.
The windows are rolled down, it’s hot, and usually, he’d have the A/C on, but right now his enjoying the fresh country air wafting through the windows. He won’t have that pleasure for a while.
He drives by the gates of The Mill. Slows down slightly just enough to make out Aaron and Liv getting out of Aaron’s car. They’re bickering, so nothing new. Liv’s stomping her feet, angrily shoving the key into the front door. Aaron’s probably trying to reason with her, always patient when it comes to her.
Robert smiles, at peace in a way he hasn’t been in a long time. Things hadn’t turned out the way he’d thought they would, but Robert has to believe things happen for a reason, he has too. Because if he hadn’t, he wasn’t sure he’d have gotten through the last few months.
Finding out the baby wasn’t his.
It had been an unforgiving few months, but he’d made it through. He’d weathered the storm and was still standing on the other side.
He speeds up, wondering if Aaron had seen his car drive by. Wonders if Aaron ever thinks about him. Robert’s sure he knows, knows that Robert’s leaving. He hadn’t come to say goodbye and perhaps it was better this way.
No matter what though, Aaron’s still he’s favourite ‘what-if.’
With that thought in mind, he smiles. Pressing down on the gas, and driving out of the village.