#7.3.18

[edo-vivendum]

There is nothing anyone can say that invalidates your right to exist on this earth.

You are not here to please everyone you encounter. You are allowed to exist.

[reaperpainting]

Despair has its own calms.

[believe-that-lunatic-fringe]

[notyourdream]

i just spent about 2 hours trying to crack this baby open, not really knowing what i was doing. in the end though, the product was worth it

[edo-vivendum]

7.3.18

I am terrified I won't be well enough to take classes this fall.

Physically, I have made progress. I am stable, back where I was when I was "doing okay." However, the reality is that there is a lot of work left to go—with food and with trauma—left for me to process, and I am tired.

As for processing the past, the worst has yet to come. The work is necessary. So necessary. And yet, when I face this work, I am scared I'll be back to ground zero, either unwilling to feed myself or paralyzed with urges to do myself harm.

I live in a state of shame, and though I attempt to contradict the beliefs deeply engrained within my past, my actions are feeble; my thoughts distant; and my body numb.

So today, I will keep trying, and tomorrow I will keep trying. And the day after, still, I will pull myself out of bed. Here I am hoping, one day, things will feel lighter, and future will seem bright.

[reaperpainting]

Hell is empty. And all the devils are here.

[ionlywantedtobegin]

“I love you’s” we’re exchanged and it was lovely.

[sierratheory]

The drama already effecting the charts.

Thanks for sending this in! Go figure, this is why we can’t have nice things.