#722am

[rie-k-photo]

Sunrise at Margate City beach NJ, January 3, 2024, 7:21 a.m. by the bridge https://www.flickr.com/photos/80502454@N00/53439432677

[theamericanbandwhore]

I don’t want to be with you again but I think I’ll always wonder why I was never enough.

Was it a lie when you told me you were already with someone new? Or was that all said just because I had someone? It made me feel worse because either you lied about being with someone or you lied about not being ready for a serious relationship. I would prefer the former because at least that would be one less person who left me for someone else…

I want to be happy for you but I think I’m still angry, especially if it was the latter. You constantly caused my abandonment issues to swell. You constantly made me feel stupid. You made me feel like I meant nothing to you at a time in my life when you meant everything to me.

I hate that all of this has come up. I’m getting married and I’m so fucking excited. I would never give that up. I just feel guilty that sometimes this stuff still bothers me.

Im just glad it won’t be the 16th