#victim blaming

[alltheotherblogs]

Obsession: A movie more aggravating than it is scary.

I had some thoughts to say about this film that I wanted to put somewhere just so that I didn't bury it and go on with my day thinking bad thoughts about things from my past.

So, a little context is very necessary. I've had a very checkered and dark past full of very bad things, things that relate to this movie on a fundamental level. Things revolving around psychotic manipulative women like the antagonist of Obsession.

I know this will immediately stir some pots because I have a hunch people took away the wrong message from the movie.

Not that they made it hard to do that, considering the amount of back pedaling that happens during the plot of the film.

So, here's some spoilers and a brief plot summary:

The story revolves around a man making a wish that a girl he likes, but doesn't know very well, would love him. The wish works, and the woman begins to show her real colors facilitated through the wish. At various points it tries to imply that this is not really her and that she's possessed by something. She's not. That's just her lying again, because that is her nature. Her true nature is the one you see in the film, the way she acts is not because of the wish, only facilitated by it. She still had to make the various decisions to do what she did, regardless of her motivations.

Spoilers & summary aside, that's pretty much what I wanted to get into. That this film keeps trying to make it seem like this isn't her doing these things. It tries to repeatedly forgive her, meanwhile the entire movie Baron is getting victim-blamed for what's happening to him, and falling deeper & deeper into an abusive relationship with a woman whose true self is a nightmarish demon.

It's relatable! Shockingly so! So much from the film reminded me of things that women have done to me. And so to see it try to take that theme and turn it on its head as though it was all some kind of petty joke that they weren't willing to follow through with kinda sucks.

I wish they would've stuck with the clear original idea and they wouldn't have tried to copout and make it seem like it isn't her the whole film when it obviously is.

So as much as I relate to the film and as impactful as it was, because of the copout, I have to say I don't like it very much. It kind of ruins it. I'd give it like a 3/10 just cause it gets a point for the music, the camera work, the editing, and the original idea. But it loses points on execution, diversion from the original idea, and the whole copout, as well as the piss-poor mixing that hollywood loves. Seriously, stop going from WHISPER QUIET to EARRAPINGLY loud. It loses a lot of points for that.

Besides that, very relatable film, I used to wish for love a lot cause I knew it would make me happy and all the times I thought I got what I wanted, what I actually got was a horrible abusive woman with no maturity or care for anyone else but themselves!

And as for my relationships with men, I wish them all the best, they were all great partners, it was just our time to end things.

And as for my current relationship, my current relationship is extremely happy and I'm glad I didn't give up on women. This movie sincerely would not have helped if I had watched it coming off of a bad relationship, I would've felt victim-blamed and honestly it would've sucked.

Don't watch this if you just got out of a bad relationship. And PSA; suicide is for cowards, if you think the only way out of a bad situation or relationship is suicide, you haven't considered all your options.

[casyndrome]

If you're talking to someone who has experienced medical mistreatment or knows someone who experienced medical mistreatment, and they're talking about it trying to bring awareness

Don't be the type of douche that says "nuh uh, you're lying" or "stop spreading misinformation"

Especially when it's a very common complaint

If you can't be asked to face an uncomfortable truth, that's a you problem, but don't project that onto victims

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

The Survivors of Child Sex Abuse Who Don’t Want Their Abusers Punished

We assume that victims will find closure when the people who hurt them are imprisoned. But many say that to heal, they need something else e

genuinely one of the most evil articles of all time when you actually realized that not only did at least one of the survivors mentioned definitely want her abuser "punished" but she attempted suicide when he was released from jail

like when you actually look at it the problem wasn't so much that he was imprisoned, it was that imprisoning him was such a grueling and time-consuming process distracting the parents from looking after her

made worse by the fact that the shitbags in their family sided with the grandfather, a situation that seems very unlikely to improve if instead of the trial they had had an equally ardurous "healing process" where he go to blubber his way through a powerpoint about how Fucking Your GrandKids Is Bad Actually and then returned to the community that much earlier.

ntm that the article also claims that the current justice system is simultaneously too punitive/not punitive enough because it's bad when abusers get arrested that means kids are scared to tell but it's also bad when abusers don't get arrested because that means the system doesn't work

"punitive action means victims don't tell" what fucking punitive action

what fucking data. what fuuuucking data convinces you that "saying rape is bad means saying rape victims are bad" means anything except that not your own victim blaming going all over the place. do you think that stigma against police brutality hurts its victims? do you think stigma against terrorists hurts its victims? or does it only apply to the rapists we should run free so we can Focus On The Victim by telling them to shut up and forgive.

and then there's fucking bullshit where a member of the tj group confessed to raping his brother because of his "negative self-image" and because a therapist told him that raping your brother is in fact illegal. and then they straight up do all the tj shit and they're both simultaneously feeling good and still fucking miserable because guess what? a rapist is still a rapist no matter how many buzzwords he knows!

and then there's the absolutely ghoulish part where they namedrop the Catholic Church scandals (funny as fuck since the basic tenet of "separate the victim from the abuser, have the abuser do a specific cultural ritual, and then let the chips fall where they may" is pretty much what's being suggested here) and simultaneously claim that the victims in those cases were being overlooked and "trotted out"

like that right, the children in Those Cases testifying about their abuse weren't doing a brave thing or reclaiming their agency by engaging in the very openness that we're supposedly encouraging, they're actually dumb performing animals! how dare they cry in front of the Public, how dare they show weakness lack of autonomy, how dare they be messy and ugly when the priests who raped them probably just had bad therapists, they're making a mockery of themselves! don't they know that the only way to a Good Victim is to forgive and forget using this one specific process to regain humanity in our eyes. lol.

[elegantzombielite]

"Illness is in part what the world has done to a victim, but in a larger part it is what the victim has done with his world."

Karl A. Menninger, psychiatrist

(22nd July 1893-1990)

[itsa-mutt]

I know Madoka means well but she kinda annoys me. “Sayaka, don’t you know that by hurting yourself, you’re actually hurting ME???” Hm where have I heard that before.

[okhearmeout]

I know it's somewhat unrelated, but.

When I'm complaining in the school text chat about a bunch of bullies that are being mean to my daughter, maybe don't start your comment with something like, "Yeah that sucks, but you know that girls can be mean to boys, too, don't you? You know that sometimes boys being mean to girls is the direct result of girls' bad behaviour? You know that, right?" Can someone believe for once that sometimes bullies are mean because they are just mean?

[opalescent-apples]

Hello, redditor. Before you sits a computer screen, where a woman is telling a story about being stalked and abused. Your challenge is to write her a simple and straightforward comment, without victim blaming. If the computer keylogger detects phrases such as "you are the asshole to yourself", or other such phrases that fault her for the abuse, the axe above you will drop, severing both of your hands, and the computer will automatically delete your account. You have five minutes. Good luck.

[ladypaperwriterson]

well i understand lack of resources to have a villain but choosing for this role a csa survivor who was sa’d so many times he did not remember the name his parents had given him screams incredibly poor writing and complete lack of empathy. if they wanted to introduce a cartoon evil villain they could have gone with marius - since they decided last season that his damage to armand was far more brutal than in the books with the whole donation idea and that they spent twelve years together instead of just two. because it is insane that they introduced this thing last season and decided to completely drop it this season. but no! instead of focusing on the monsters that hurt him, let’s go with vilifying the victim!

💯

This. Nothing to add. The treatment of Armand by the show writers is disgusting. The only thing that mildly saved the entire ordeal from being a complete travesty is the treasure that is Assad Zaman and his immaculate talent.