#8 bit space

[marshmallowprotection]

Think of how much WORSE it would have been in saeyoungs route when he first runs into saeran if he didnt have that plausible deniabilty of saerans hair and eye color being different. Yikes

Oh, you are in the mood to make me cry, aren't you? Because, as we know, the first time the twins encounter each other face-to-face in Yoosung and Saeyoung’s Route after years of separation, we have no choice but to watch Saeyoung not recognize his brother right away.

Granted, part of the reason why he doesn't recognize his brother doesn't just have to do with the fact that his brother doesn't look the same as he once did, it's because the very last thing he expects to encounter in the organization that has been trying to destroy his Safe Haven— is his brother.

Why would Saeran be in Mint Eye?

Saeran was supposed to be safe somewhere thanks to Jihyun and Rika.

Not here.

Never here.

Yoosung's Route:

Saeyoung's Route:

There's a part of me that knows if he realized it was his brother right away, it would have sent him into a downward spiral that destroyed him emotionally. He always shuts down when he realizes what has been done to his brother. It's one thing when he's bouncing between deniability and actuality, but if there is nothing to deny, then he has to accept that he was lied to, and the only thing that happens when he has that realization is a breakdown. 

If he knew right away what happened to his brother, that would just burn all of us even more emotionally. That moment he has of “what if” is there to keep us from sobbing after we learn the truth. Because every playthrough after the truth is realized only hurts when you sit down and think about how Saeyoung didn't know his brother right away because of everything Saeran went through and how he lost himself in the name of revenge.

If he knew it was his brother without a shadow of a doubt at first glance, that makes it all the more painful for us to think about how he could never ever not know his brother in a crowd. If he could see his brother without a moment of hesitation, then he would be forced to look in the mirror and question everything he ever did wrong because his mirror reflection looking at him in contempt is only a reminder of how he sacrificed everything and it didn't even matter.

His sacrifice meant nothing. There is no moment to deny anything. There is no way to second-guess himself, that is his brother, and his brother suffered. At least when there is a bit of deniability, he can somehow work his way through the pain by trying to make himself believe that what happened wasn't because of him, but if he saw it from the very first second they met each other's eyes, then the pain would be unbelievable. 

The pain is already unbelievable, but there is something that is difficult to put into words when it comes to them seeing each other for the first time and there being no doubt about it. Saeyoung would blame himself 100% after seeing the pain in Saeran's eyes... the same red hair and golden eyes, just filled with contempt instead of relief and joy to be together again.

There is a kind of separation between them when they don't look exactly alike, but when they look the way they once did when they were children, it burns in a way that Saeyoung could never describe. It would be like the innocent memory of his brother shattered tenfold on impact because there was no attempt to erase his identity in the situation, his identity is front and center. 

Our Saeran bleaches his hair to disconnect himself from Saeyoung... but if that connection was still there... well, the thought is a heavy one. It's an interesting thought piece, not going to lie, but there is so much in it that makes me want to cry. That moment where he has a chance to deny what's happening delays the inevitable at the end of the day, but tainting the image of the red-haired baby Saeran in his mind is something that cuts like a knife. 

There's just... a brief disconnection when he has his white hair and I don't know how to describe it in words. I hope this is making sense but I've only made myself cry. 

[marshmallowprotection]

I want the backstory to that cloths swap imagine in the mint eye box So Bad. I feel like it also implies at some point saeran lets his natural color grow out. Its so cute.

"You know, I always thought you looked ridiculous in this outfit," he said, a dry yet amused sound escaped Saeran as he looked down at the outfit in question. "I never saw the purpose. It confused me to see you taking inspiration from a traffic light. I didn't put it together until I saw your bunker, you know? I get it now."

"You have to admit your brother has style?" Saeyoung countered, his eyebrows wiggling in a mocking fashion, and Saeran gave him a hard shove to the shoulder. "Okay, okay. I get it! You're not a fan of my red, yellow, and orange wavelength!"

"No," Saeran said.

"No?"

Saeran looked at his brother, "You always liked tinkering with stuff when we were young... you would tell me stories about technology all the time, but what you thought was the coolest thing was always a car. I remember once when you mentioned how badly you wanted to build one so that we could escape and travel anywhere we wanted. I guess you never lost your dream. Oh, also, you really don't hide your drawings well. Why did you have yourself drawn as a race car driver all over your fridge?"

Saeyoung smiled, sheepishly. It wasn't that bad. He liked to express himself in a way that felt comfortable. For Saeyoung, cosplay and all the stories he could doodle on paper helped him cope with what he had to deal with. He knew that it wasn't that different for Saeran who spent a lot of his time dabbling in a journal these days.

It was still... weird between himself and his brother. They didn't know each other anymore and it was hard to figure out how to change that. It was Saeran's partner who jokingly said that they could try to get in each other's shoes to see what they didn't understand. It was silly to exchange clothes but... they were twins, after all. They could share a lot and see what stuck.

"I admire Lightning McQueen?" he offered.

"The crocs you wear at home gave that away," Saeran said. It was hard to tell if he was annoyed or amused by that.

To be fair, when they were kids, it was hard to know what Saeran was thinking. He was always far away from the world even if they were together. His daydreams kept him safe and sound so Saeyoung never pressed him to be open about what he had to do to survive. He had his own means, too. He would study programming for hours until he knew what he was looking at.

Instead, Saeyoung looked at the outfit that Saeran often wore. He liked the feeling of the button-up, or so he claimed. It wasn't tight on his body and it didn't make him feel hyperaware of his insecurities or healing wounds. Saeran had gone through so much that Saeyoung blamed himself for, but a lot of that was out of his control. He did the best he could and Saeran found comfort in the structure of a suit for some reason.

It made him look like a grown-up, though.

All Saeyoung ever wanted for his brother was for him to make it to adulthood and enjoy the experience of life. He just never thought he would be able to see it firsthand. But, just like the suit, Saeran had a world of structure and freedom at the same time. His brother had a partner, security, safety, and a garden he could use to look at the sky all day. It was wonderful.

He was so proud of his twin.

"You know, you look like you're another one of Jumin's worker bees in this outfit," Saeyoung chuckled.

Saeran hummed, clearly lost in thought, "Well, if things hadn't gone the way they did, I wouldn't have minded that. Jumin is considerate and did right by me while I did my work for him. Everyone looked at me and treated me like I was always capable of being confident and a leader to people around me. When I wear that outfit... I feel capable. I don't doubt myself. I feel free and I like that feeling so I haven't done to change my style since I became liberated."

"Hey, I'm proud of you," Saeyoung said. He pressed a hand against his brother's shoulder. "But, you were always capable and brave. I just never let you have a chance to shine when we were kids. I thought I had to be strong for you so you would never have to fight a battle you weren't ready for... but my mistake was thinking you weren't ready to protect yourself."

Saeran smiled. "Strength comes from believing in yourself, yes, but it comes just as much from having people who believe in you. The RFA taught me that, [Y/N] taught me that, and you taught me that. We're the strongest we can be when our loved ones believe in us and stand by our sides. You tried to fight alone but... you were strong because of your friends... and because they believed in you, they believed in me, too."

"So, you think your traffic light brother is strong in a real way?"

"I always have, hyung."

Their family was a little splintered and broken, but it wasn't going to be that way forever. They were healing and they would find a way to bond just like when they were kids someday. For now, it was okay to play around and poke fun at each other until they knew what it was like to be adults and to have a brother again.

A familiar voice came from the back porch, "Hey, Saeran, Saeyoung! C'mon, I need to get a picture for the chatroom! They won't believe I talked Saeran into this! Saeyoung, sure, but that's only because he's a master cosplayer. I promise it'll just take a minute!"

"[Y/N] won't take no for answer," Saeyoung chuckled. He glanced at them in the distance and then back to Saeran. "Well, we shouldn't let them wait forever, huh? I have a feeling they're pouting and we both know that you can't say no to them when they do that."

Saeran rolled his eyes and began walking back in the direction of the little cozy house that they had come to call their own. "Well, look at you, you've learned my true weakness. I guess we're starting to see eye to eye after all."

"Have you figured mine out, then?"

"It's Jumin Han's cat."

"Damn."

[marshmallowprotection]

You know one platonic relationship i dont consider much often is saeran and Vanderwood. But i think it could work and be beneficial for saeran, id imagine if vanderwood decided to stick around he'd look out for saeran in the same way he does for saeyoung. And none of the saerans really have to worry about feeling like a bad person in comparison bc vanderwood has done just as much if not more. They could really get into some conversations about feeling complicated about what they've done without the tension the rest of the rfa and saeyoung might bring. Its nice to have someone other than saeyoung to talk to, someone just a bit older with more experience.

Of course! There's always something beneficial in having a friend in your life who can guide you when you've got no experience otherwise for something. In the context of Saeran's Good Ending, Vanderwood could make a tight bond with the RFA if he wanted to do so. I'm sure he'd be closer with the twins. Vanderwood is like an older sibling who is tired of your crap when it comes to Saeyoung. With Saeran, we can assume it's more of a dynamic like "wow, you're nothing like your twin at all, what a relief."

Once everyone is able to get past what Vanderwood had to do to be able to defeat the agency, things will smooth over with time. It wasn't the best idea, but you can't play fair with an agency that's got a gun to your head every step of the way. Saeran wouldn't mind speaking to Vanderwood now and again. He knows that he looked after Saeyoung for years... and Saeran feels grateful that his brother had someone in his life that helped him stay alive despite the odds, even if everything in the agency was cutthroat and Vanderwood can argue that he only took care of Saeyoung to save his own skin.

Vanderwood is a solid friend once you get under his skin. He may not admit it, but it's far too easy for him to go soft on people. It's a trait he isn't proud of since those natures get killed readily... but hey, being a softie for a brat dismantled the agency and gave him a real chance to go back home to his family who he clearly cared about after all that time away from them. What hasn't Vanderwood seen in his years in the agency? Nothing passes this guy.

So, yeah, for Saeran, we could say that Vanderwood could be a good place to turn to if he ever needs someone to talk to about... well, the things he did in Mint Eye. He might be working to make peace with his actions but those feelings of guilt don't just go away overnight, it lingers no matter how much work you do on yourself. It's the name of the game. Vanderwood doesn't judge. He's done and said worse for the name of their job. Why would he say something to judge Saeran for anything?

Saeran wouldn't feel comfortable talking to the RFA about the things he did in Mint Eye. Jumin said it was forgiven and forgotten on Night 10 since Saeran was willing to work with them to save Saeyoung, but we know how Saeran is. He wants to own up to what he's done, make things right, apologize, and do better in the future. That means he wants to be honest about his misdeeds. Even if they've forgiven him, it doesn't mean he's forgiven himself. So, who better to talk to about that than Vanderwood?

Vanderwood doesn't mince words. He won't lie to you. He'll tell you like it is and somehow, it's helpful. Maybe what Saeran needs for this is someone to tell him the honest truth without sugarcoating things.

[marshmallowprotection]

Wait omg i just notice the birthday art has a framed photo of the cg where they are eating ice cream as kids in the background. Thats so cute

Enhance the photo!

I talked about this in my post where I went over the details of what I could pick apart in the photo, but in the context of this situation, it's a photograph to us, sure. However, in the universe, they wouldn't get a photo of this. This is a painting of the twins that one of those boys would've had to have commissioned. So, one of them decided the birthday present they needed was a photo of the promise they made on ice cream. I don't know if that makes me want to cry more or not.

[marshmallowprotection]

You know a thing i dont think people will realize is, along with the dangers of saeran being in the hospital without the possibility of having visitors and the very real possibility saejoong could easily take advantage of that; in saeyoungs mind anything could happen to him. Why would he trust other people to care for his brother when doing exactly that was what got him so hurt in the first place? He's not going to let saeran be trapped ever again and giving him as much freedom as he could in the bunker was the best he could do

Yeah, Saeyoung Choi is the model of paranoia. It's not an unfounded fear, either. His entire life has been a non-stop ride of never knowing who is trustworthy. That illusion was shattered beyond relief thanks to Rika and V, as well. How can he trust anyone ever again outside of the RFA? Don't get me wrong, he trusts the RFA, but even that is very limited and the most he can manage. It's just Jumin and Jaehee that he can speak to but... they can't put their necks out for him, and he's well aware of it.

They're doing as much as humanly possible to help but they can't stop Saejoong. They can lie for Saeran's sake and push back media from seeing Mint Eye survivors, but the Prime Minister is another ballpark! You can't fight the man on top of trying to control what's going on behind the scenes as far as what people think of this cult being discovered and dismantled.

Saeran is in danger at all times in the hospital. People talk about him because he throws fits and can have violent tendencies when caged like an animal. People talk. You can't stop that. All it takes is one little person describing him... one person mentioning his blood type... and then it's over. One word and Saeran could be taken and killed. That's not going to happen on Saeyoung's watch.

What else was Saeyoung supposed to do?

Should he have left Saeran in the hospital to die? Should he have left him to be mistreated by hospital staff? Should he have let them give Saeran something he didn't want against his will? Those were all just detrimental to his health. The hospital staff got tired of him, people were afraid and wouldn't try to find other means to help him, and on top of that, you have to fear when word slips out to someone that it never should.

Saeyoung did what he thought was best. It doesn't mean it was a good idea or that he's proud of it. He did what he had to do to make sure that Saeran wouldn't die. Was he bad at executing the means to take care of his brother? Yeah, in many ways. He's not a professional for mental health. Does he claim to be? No. He does the best he can for his brother in the middle of a shitty situation.

Is Saeyoung perfect? No. But, who is? Nobody. Nobody's perfect. The Secret Ending isn't supposed to be perfect. It's doing the best it can in the middle of a sinkhole. Saeyoung knows this isn't what Saeran is dreaming of. He knows his brother wants to see the sky and be as far from his trauma as possible. But, the only way Saeyoung can provide that is if he puts him in the bunker in the meantime.

Saeran can be helped when it's safe. Saeyoung will find him support and other tools. I have no doubt about that. But, initially, he does the best he can do, and even if that's not good for either of the twins to be facing, it's the best they can have for the time being. Sometimes reality isn't going to be perfect and clean. It's going to be messy and hard to pick up the pieces.

Saeyoung means well. Saeran eventually comes to understand that over time. It's okay to criticize Saeyoung for his choices but it's more important to see why he makes them. I'm hurt for Saeran in the SE in many ways because I know he hates being trapped and robbed of his autonomy, but Saeyoung did what he had to do to ensure Saeran could even have a chance to LIVE to get some autonomy back in the future.

[marshmallowprotection]

How do you think that first night in the cabin on saerans route went? We see a bunch but theres still the fact that this is really the first time their allowed to spend more than like 20 minutes with eachother. Plus there was presumably only one bed in the cabin, not that saeran slept much but they could have rested together. Maybe a bit awkward at first?

You were in the cabin for only a few seconds before Saeran realized that there was a phone in your hand. He’s been focused on saving the two of you, so his mind was only on the road. It wasn’t easy to duck and dodge any believers that came chasing after you. Rika might not have had the mind at the time to send the guards, but they already had prior orders to take care of you & Saeran.

That was exhausting, to say the least. Blood pumping out of your mind for hours like that needs you to slow down momentary to regain control of your head. So, do we want to make a timeline out of the official hours given to us by the game or do we want to assume that it’s more likely that the timeline is skewed over to make more sense in the moment? If we look at the official chat times to base a lot of this after, we have to look at the moment we escaped to the following day at 8AM.

16:13 / 4:13 P.M. 18:37 / 6:37 P.M. 20:22 / 8:22 P.M.  21:39 / 9:39 P.M. 23:48 / 11:48 P.M. 08:00 / 8:00 A.M. 

With this in mind, we have to account for a few factors. So, you make a break for it at 4:13. You start running through the mountains and you don’t get to the cabin until sometime after 6:37. We know you’re still running when you’re speaking to V and Jaehee, so there’s no concrete answer on when you arrive to the cabin in the night. It has to be somewhere between 6:37 and 8:22. Depending on that, I know that it’s easier to gauge what we’re working with in regards to what you’re doing with Saeran.

So, let’s just assume that there’s a period between the time that you arrive to the cabin and before you open the messenger. That’s going to be a break where you catch your breath. Saeran inspects the cabin for safety, you check everything in the place to see what you’re working with food and water wise. That’s a fact that I know for sure because Saeran has to run down to the river to grab some fresh water during a phone call.

Then we have to account for the time it takes Saeran to set up a connection with the messenger and ensure that he did indeed have the right skills to ensure that Mint Eye cannot trace him yet. I can assume that this takes twenty minutes, it’s just a rough assessment. You then sit down with Saeran, open the messenger to chat with Yoosung and Zen. You coax him to slow down, relax, and open himself to them with good faith. He relaxes.

Realizes fast Yoosung and Zen aren’t helpful in this case while they sputter, he kisses your cheek, presses his hand to yours in a small act of faith, and then he goes to turn on his laptop and hunt down what the C&R team sent him. We can assume that took a few minutes so you finish up your chat and then go sit with him while he checks in with Jumin and Jaehee. That’s when he has to start his work right away. But, you see, Saeran isn’t working alone now. He has this big team at C&R. He isn’t doing this alone.

He is working with them, balancing out work and ensuring that everything is going to work out. Jaehee even comments in the chat following at one at 9:39 that he’s wonderful, practical, and a hard-worker. So, at an hour in, he’s already made huge process with everyone. He’s doing his work, and you’re likely moving around the cabin trying to see what you have to eat... since there’s a phone call in here about asking him if he’s hungry! He says he wants to join you, so that is enough for me to assume that he’s able to take a couple of breaks that night but not many.

Enough for him to look at you and breathe. He can look away for five or ten minutes every hour. He is determined to do work, but he wants to make sure that you’re okay, too. He doesn’t want to ignore you and work like this again... it’s the reminder of those first days at Mint Eye that make him say he needs a tiny break just so that he can hold you or you can hold him momentarily. This a lot for him to process and he’s going through it.

He keeps working hard with C&R into the night. It’s revealed that they’ve found where they think Saeyoung has been taken by 11:48. So, within the span of the few hours you’ve been in the cabin, Saeran’s been spending much of his time coordinating the C&R team while doing his work, too. Yet, he’s had the time to eat with you, fetch some fresh water, and take a short walk around the area of the cabin. We know he doesn’t sleep that night, and you probably don’t get a lot of sleep, either.

I imagined that you slept on a couch not far from him while he was doing his work and that motivated him to keep pushing through the exhaustion since he could finally see you at peace. So, whatever happened overnight isn’t clear to anyone. He could’ve had more breaks to check on you or be with you, or there’s a chance that you checked in with the intelligence unit with Saeran to speak to Jumin or Jaehee yourself. There’s no telling what you’ve done on your phone that night, either.

That’s up for the player to figure out. We all know it ends with Saeran taking a break on the phone that morning to tell you that he’s watching the sunrise... and you’re looking at him from the window, seeing how free he finally is. By the time the sunrises, it’s time to go.

The 8AM chatroom happens which would be the point that says “okay, now we have to face the Prime Minister”. We know that Driver Kim has to come and pick up Saeran and the player from the cabin and bring them back to C&R. We don’t get any idea of how long this takes. So, you have all that time with Saeran to try to rest and relax before you’re thrust into C&R’s building on the spot to fight the biggest fight of your life. I am sure this entire time is tense, awkward, and a little bit uncertain. It’s not easy to figure out where you stand with Saeran and all the RFA, and the same goes for Saeran. You’re both figuring this out.

All I can say is that the end of Day 10 feels like the longest day of your life.

[marshmallowprotection]

I always imagined saeyoung installed some sort of articfical skylight for saeran that looks like a normal window but is actually just a high quality screen showing a live video feed of the sky outside, so he can see the sky when hes inside even if they dont have real windows

Oh, that's a good one! That might help him when he wants to lay back in bed and just stare at the ceiling for hours. It's something he does when he feels existential dread but this way means that he's able to see something worth looking at instead of just the dull and dark void of his room.

Saeyoung would make sure that it's perfect for his brother, too! I can't help but wonder if he'd try to make this like a 4D movie theater for whatever reason. Can you imagine Saeran just having a heart attack cause Saeyoung installed a fan for a breeze and even went as far as to add a mister in case it rains? We all know that Saeyoung would do that... within reason.

But, yes! This is a great idea and I appreciate the thought because this seems more thoughtful than just placing a basic projection on the wall.

[marshmallowprotection]

He's so cute I love him

The answer is clear. He should do this the first time that he sees you. Without second thought or hesitation, he should always envelop you in a warm hug that feels like home. You are his home and his heart. You at the place that he can be himself and it's something that he doesn't want to take for granted.