#8.12.2020

[you-are-my-neverland]

i am once again asking my mind to stop coming up with new wip ideas and literally focus on one

[prosy-days]

December 8, 2020 - Day 172

I decided last minute to bake some bread this evening.

[godsnameisjoy]

SIDE EFFECTS

Date: 8 December 2020

Duration: 45 minutes at 10:00 pm

Depth: Written at ~9:00 am on 9 December ‘20. Here goes-

Last night, after the session, I wrote the date on this page with the intention to write about the session. I fell asleep with the page still open. In fact, this has happened after many of the recent sessions. I have taken upto 20 minutes writing two sentences because I have slept between phrases! And this remains the intention. I want to continue writing this blog, however haphazardly, soon after the session. It’s the only way my words will remain authentic to how I experienced the session.

Sometimes I consider going live and inviting folk to join me in meditation. The only thing holding me back till now is the setting in which I practice daily. The room is dark, it’s at night, I am not particularly well dressed for the occasion and my hair is messy. However, even if I were to have this live session, it would still have to be backed with words either spoken or written. The body will be visible but not the state of mind. And what good would any meditation be if it didn’t change your mind.

From being restless to being calm. From calmness to peace. The mindfulness of it all makes meditation description worthy. Take last night’s session. I am sure I felt no surrender. When all one’s attention is consumed by the meditation technique being practice, the effect on the body is big. It’s such a strange relation between mind, breath and body. That lightness of body that comes with one’s energies directed upwards is what I missed yet again last night.

Imagine that! I haven’t even come across Paramahansa Yogananda’s God yet but the changes as a byproduct of trying are so good. This peace is hard earned but it is peace we are talking about here.

[getfitjournal]

It is 10 at night on Wednesday, August 12th! I weighed in today at 236.2, though my lowest recently was 234.8 (Body fluctuations, idk!).

Since I dropped my metformin intake I have been feeling so much better! I’ve been doing 2 pills daily instead if the prescribed 4 and haven’t felt any of the problems I was having with Hypoglycemia since. Hurray!

I walked/jogged 3.5 miles with my dad today, and it was really hot but I’ve been enjoying the walks more than any other kind of workout. To be honest, my period this month and the hypoglycemia totally threw off my workout rhythm, so I’m kinda just back to going with what feels right.

I just watched this cool video about 100 squats a day for 30 days challenge and I’m thinking of implementing a different kind of workout routine than just doing Chloe Ting or Emi Wong videos. Those are great guides, but idk if HIIT is really what I feel I need to build muscle how I want. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t have the specifics, but I’m thinking of doing 100 squats, 100 sit ups (or leg lifts), a minute of planks and 30 knee push ups a day, in addition to an arm focused HIIT workout. This in addition to occasional walks seems pretty doable, though I don’t like being strict on “daily” requirements.

Anyway, the maintenance week is going pretty well! Allowing myself to eat close to maintenance or even over a few days really helps get my head back in the game, and because everything has been so difficult mentally lately this was a good decision! After this week I’m going to attempt 3 weeks deficit like I did the first time and see how that goes. If my body and mind need a maintenance week after 2 weeks again, though, I’ll listen to it.

[g-oats]

you ever rewrite a oc so hard even their name changes

anyway im SOOOO much happier with him now i actually am looking forward to making art n working on him 😩💖 i've been struggling to draw recently and everytime i try my wrist starts hurting like hell but MGIHT fuck around and doodle him anyway just because i can

[caspers-best-discord-hits]