Pls Don’t Look At Me

I’m just blogging about weightloss, fitness, and health. It’s for myself, please move along if you stumbled upon this.

[getfitjournal]

Wow so it has been over a year since I posted on here. School was crazy with trying to stay in shape, but I have started keto just about two weeks ago now. I tested the diet for about 4 weeks a couple months ago and I liked it—it made me feel healthier and less deprived while losing weight since fat and protein foods feel denser.

So far I dropped from 245 to 237, but I am uncertain how accurate that is with my period happening for the past 4 days and currently. I am combining a caloric deficit, keto, and running just about every other day(couch to 5k) and weight training where I can, but that’s mostly because now that i’ve graduated and am in between jobs, I have all the time in the world to dedicate to actually getting healthy.

The biggest struggle so far has been the mental game. Between blood sugar, period, and dysmorphia, my mental health has been poor but also my biggest focus. So many people have been saying how the mental game was what helped them finally lose all their weight, so I absolutely can’t neglect it. Still, it’s not easy…

Anyway! I am back at it and restarting pretty much completely. 💪

[getfitjournal]

It is around midnight on Wednesday January 20th, 2021. I haven’t posted here for a while since I took the holidays off, and it kinda derailed the weightloss process for longer than I expected. I’m back on track now, though, and weighed in at 218 lbs today.

I am starting a new basic weekly workout schedule. I say that a lot on here, but it’s mostly because I havent found one that works and that I like. I do like this one so far though! Basically it is this:

Monday/Friday - Moderate run with either jump rope warm up or ring fit warm up

Tuesday/Thursday - long run, short stretching warm up and 3-5 min walk to start

Wednesday - Jump rope and ring fit, light day

I feel like this is a good balance between body weight/muscle workouts, cardio, and HIIT. I’m not too confident I will maintain it through the school semester, but I plan on trying. The goal is to keep the week day workouts under an hour and take weekends off since I will be running around at work.

Another reason why I’m returning to this today is because laying in my bed I realized I could actually feel my ribs under my fat. It was a bit startling, I was watching some crap reality tv show lying in bed and just kinda pinching my body (it’s a bad habit, i pinch at my fat rolls and always have) and i realized i could actually feel bone. It isn’t the first time I could, of course, but it has been several years. I dont know how i feel about this.

[getfitjournal]

Alright! So, this last week was fucking hard. My great grandma died, I fell down the stairs, and also managed to cut open my thumb while trying to make dinner. 😰 Because of all that nonsense I’m checking in on Saturday November 21, 2020 because I missed Wednesday and bleh. Honestly I might just switch to Saturday weigh ins versus Sunday/Wednesday.

I weighed 221.4 lbs today! Which is sooo exciting, I’m excited to get below 220.... then 210... then 200. Being so close to these break over moment really gets me hyped about weightloss again.

I ALSO ran for 1.5 miles straight today!!! 🥳 So exciting! I mean, after the jump roping thing, my lungs practically gave out on me (asthma is a bitch) so I thought I was falling behind. Nope! I think the jump roping actually strengthened my lungs by stressing them out so bad (thats how exercise works right?). Anyway, I think it is probably a good idea to jump rope once or twice a wewk to just build up extra stamina. Another problem is that the weather is only getting colder, so I’ll cross that hurdle when i get to it i guess.

[getfitjournal]

It is 11.15.2020, so here is my check in! I missed October by accident, but I will put the stats from it in here. Yesterday I discussed what I plan to do going forward, but for now I need to relax and enjoy that I have accomplished something, even if it is not as much as I would have hoped.

6.28.2020

248 lbs XXL 18/20

Waist: 43

Bust: 50

Hips:52

Thigh: 25

4 months:

10.18.2020

227lbs XL

Waist: 38.5

Bust: 46

Hips: 49

Thigh: 24.5

5 Months:

11.15.2020

224lbs XL 16

Waist: 38.5

Bust: 45

Hips: 47.5

Thigh: 23.5

This means that from June I have lost 4.5 inches in my waist, 5 inches in my bust, and 4.5 inches in my hips. These three are my main target areas, so seeing that I lose about an inch a month is really cool! Going forward I want to work on my hip measurement (really my lower belly region) and my waist the most, as well as my back fat.

[getfitjournal]

It is just before midnight on November 14th, 2020. Tomorrow I will hit 5 months since I began all of this, and I’m hitting a bit of a road block. The last few months I have lost 3-4 pounds as opposed to 6+, and I really don’t want this process to take years and years. From where I am today, I still want to lose at least an additional 80 pounds (but really closer to 90 pounds).

If from this month on I lose 8 pounds every month, it will still take me 10 months to get down to my goal weight. If I lose 4 pounds every month, it will take me 20 months. Obviously it would be nice to do something between these numbers...

Either way, it’s tough when you’ve been at it for what feels like a long time and still see such a long journey ahead. I’m going to try and keep better track of my weeks—right now I’m doing a good job of logging food but a not as good job of remembering when should be a deficit week and when should be a maintenance one.

I am considering not doing maintenance weeks for a while and instead doing a maintenance day on the occasion that I feel I need one (ie holidays and special occasions) as there is a lot of food based holidays coming up.

I would also like to start a jump rope challenge/workout this starting week and see how I like it. It seems like people get really good toning results from jump roping, and running doesn’t seem to be doing as much as I would like.

Yeah. After tomorrow I am going to go into full time deficit and have cheat/maintenance days on occasion, and with that I will also try jump roping. Between those things, hopefully I will be a bit more energized about all of this again.

[getfitjournal]

It is Sunday November 8th, 2020. I feel like I’m drowning in work and I don’t have time to even do things I need to do to take care of myself. I’m exhausted.

I weighed in at 224.6 today, which isn’t as much progress as I would like to see. I’m slowly inching down at a rate that’s manageable, but that makes me feel kinda like it’s all for nothing, yknow? I can’t lose faith now, though. I haven’t even hit my first goal yet :(

I just wish I didn’t feel so bad about my body. I grab and poke at my fat wishing it to disappear, but even after months of work I can’t see a difference. It’s infuriating. I know I’m eating too much to lose weight at the speed I want, but it’s so fucking hard to deny myself when one more thing won’t put me up to maintaining, just over the 2lb a week loss that I want.

I have a wedding I’m going to in less than two months. I don’t want to look like a frumpy ball of fat, I want to look like a beautiful 21 year old. There’s no way I can lose 70 lbs in two months, though, especially not when I lost just over 20 in 4 months. 🙄 Hopefully my friends will at least not feel like I gained weight since they last saw me.

I’m really over it. I’m trying to be positive to maintain like, some sanity, but it just doesn’t feel possible.

[getfitjournal]

It is Wednesday October 28, 2020. Today i weighed in at 225 lbs even, which is a full 23 pounds down from my starting weight.

This week I’m focusing on self care and routines. Stress has been hitting me very hard and it has been making it hard to sleep, so I’m looking into meditation and I’ve started up running on a treadmill now that it’s too cold to run outside. I’m also challenging myself to do 10 or more push ups a day, just to help with upper body strength.

I’m actually typing this at night. I’m on the boarder of a panic attack because of how school went today, and it has led me to question my field for the first time in a while. I realized today that while I have won awards for stuff in the past, none of that has to do with what I decided to go into, and if anything, everyone in my life has kinda told me not to go into it. Other than my close family, thankfully. I still think I’m probably on the right path, it just hurts to think that my work doesn’t stand out in a crowd even if it is highly technically competent. There’s just a spirit I feel my work lacks... if that makes sense? Idk.

Either way, I’m getting back into the swing of things and taking weightloss more seriously as Alexis’s wedding approaches. I weigh about what I did when I was her roommate so it won’t seem like I’ve put ON weight at the very least, but I still have a bit over two months to appear to have lost a bit of weight if anything. Not that it really matters, im probably the only one who cares...

[getfitjournal]

It is October 19th, 2020. My focus has been on school and work, not on fitness and weightloss, and it shows in my progress.

Today is the start of a maintenance week. I weighed in at 227 yesterday, but I may have been a little off because i forgot to weigh myself until after I had breakfast.

I haven’t posted here in a while, but that’s good cause I mostly post on here to rant when things aren’t going very well. Sometimes I wish things were going a bit faster, but I’m doing everything I can to get to work and finish school work first and foremost.

[getfitjournal]

It is October 2nd, 2020. Life is very weird right now. I decided to chill on my diet a bit to help get back on my feet in other ways. Today was the first time I worked out in a while. Surprisingly, I weighed in at 228.6 today, even though it is a maintenance week and i have been mostly trying to hit maintenance calories.

It felt really good to work out again, and it is so relieving to know that even though I’m off track a bit I haven’t dramatically gained weight or anything. I’m still in pain from my wrist, but it’s okay. I’m going to do what I can to make sure I heal okay, but I’m not giving up on the weightloss and fitness goals either. Rocky times doesn’t mean the end of your journey. 💪

[getfitjournal]

Today is September 27th. I injured my wrist a few days ago to the point that I have been forced to rest it and not write or draw. This has definitely pushed me back, I haven’t run in a few days and I’m falling behind on my work. I also haven’t lost anything, weighing in at 229.8 today. I think I will maintain this until I’m better, since I need to take care of myself first and foremost.

[getfitjournal]

It is the morning of September 20th, 2020. Today, I am officially three months into weightloss and fitness. I feel like this month I dropped the ball a bit, but in the end it’s ok as long as I keep moving forward. I started school this month again as well, so that makes everything much more difficult.

As far as fitness goes, I can now do a full push up and can run a mile in under 12 minutes, which is pretty cool!

6.28.2020

248 lbs XXL

Waist: 43

Bust: 50

Hips:52

Thigh: 25

Upper arm: 17

1 Month:

7.26.2020

240.0 lbs XXL

Waist: 42

Bust: 49.5

Hips: 51

Thigh: 25

Upper arm: 16.5

2 Months:

8.23.2020

234.4 lbs XXL/XL

Waist: 39

Bust: 48

Hips: 50

Thigh: 25

Upper arm: 16

3 months:

9.20.2020

229.8 lbs XL

Waist: 38.5

Bust: 46

Hips: 49

Thigh: 24.5

Upper arm: 16

[getfitjournal]

It is Sunday September 13th. I’m feeling pretty down today. I ate right before bed last night and slept poorly, so I think my weight has currently fluctuated up in a weird way. I weighed in at 234 today. 5 pounds isn’t that much of a difference, but it’s kinda a bummer and i just feel stressed and blegh about it overall... realistically, there’s no way I’ve actually gained 5 pounds since Wednesday. Like wtf body!

The maintenance week went okay! I ate lots of good food, and that made me happy. I’m excited to get back on track tomorrow of losing again.

[getfitjournal]

It is Thursday September 10th! I am now one week into school, and it’s been kinda difficult to keep up with everything. Staying active when your butt is in a chair for your work is hard tbh.

I forgot to do my weigh in wednesday, so I weighed in today and I was surprised! 229.2 lbs! This means I am almost 20 lbs down from my starting weight.

As far as other goals go, I’m proud to admit that yesterday I ran outside and ran for more than one mile in a stretch. Dad and I did about 3.5 miles overall, the average time was about 15.45 minutes. Normally, the average is 17-ish, so this is huge! Honestly, I’m feeling pretty sore today, haha.

I find myself growing a bit frustrated with all of the smaller people around me who are progressing a lot quicker. My sister, i think, was inspired by me getting into all this and has started doing a lot of the same things. She mentioned the other day that her body looks a lot better, and I have to admit she’s looking pretty good.

I wish I only had 20 lbs to lose to look that cute, but I’m still really happy for her. At least, I’m trying to keep the jealousy at bay.

One of my good friends also lost like 20 lbs and has so much less of a tummy now... It’s just frustrating when you’ve put in so much work and are doing it the right way and no one notices because you’re so big. Like it will probably take another 20 lbs before people start to notice at all...

Still, this is all more for my health than for all that. I can’t lose sight of my own goals out of jealousy. Other people may be luckier in their paths, that’s fine. We all just have to keep going.

[getfitjournal]

It is Sunday September 6th! A few days ago I achieved running for a mile straight for the first time since gettinf fit! Yayy. I weighed in at 231.6 today.

This is the end of my second attempt at 3 weeks deficit, 1 week maintenance. I once again have petered off actually losing the right amount on the third week. Therefore, I think the new plan should be 2 week deficit, 1 week maintenance in cycles. This just seems to be the most effective for my body personally.

I’m in a pinch for time today so I will do a more thorough update later this week!

[getfitjournal]

It is Wednesday August 26th! I haven’t posted in a few days, mostly because I just haven’t had as much on my mind I feel I need to get out. I weighed in at 232.8 today. I’m consistently losing weight and continuing to exercise as well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not all that much to it.

I recently did my mask project from last semester! Finishing it up was very difficult, it took a lot of effort and I had no idea what I was doing, lol.

I think I succeeded in readjusting my mentality since my last post. Not weighing myself everyday helps a loooot—plus I had my second month progress! I’ll post it below.

Before:

6.28.2020

248 lbs XXL

Waist: 43

Bust: 50

Hips:52

Thigh: 25

Upper arm: 17

1 Month:

7.26.2020

240.0 lbs XXL

Waist: 42

Bust: 49.5

Hips: 51

Thigh: 25

Upper arm: 16.5

2 Months:

8.23.2020

234.4 lbs XXL/XL

Waist: 39

Bust: 48

Hips: 50

Thigh: 25

Upper arm: 16

[getfitjournal]

It’s been a while! Today is Monday August 17th, 2020, the first day back on a deficit week. I’m starting to feel like I’m getting back in the groove, but my mindset is still off. I think I’m weighing myself too often and putting too much emphasis on that. I’m going to go back to weigh ins on Sunday morning only, and see how that works out for me!

Between work and other stressors I haven’t been able to really nail in a workout routine like I wanted to. :/ It’s okay, though, I’m still doing work outs, it’s just more whenever I feel like it than consistently. It’s hard to make it consistent when you work retail! Not to mention i’ve had a lot of lower back pain on my period this month.

I weighed in at 236.6 yesterday, and I’m hoping to come into this week strong!

[getfitjournal]

It is 10 at night on Wednesday, August 12th! I weighed in today at 236.2, though my lowest recently was 234.8 (Body fluctuations, idk!).

Since I dropped my metformin intake I have been feeling so much better! I’ve been doing 2 pills daily instead if the prescribed 4 and haven’t felt any of the problems I was having with Hypoglycemia since. Hurray!

I walked/jogged 3.5 miles with my dad today, and it was really hot but I’ve been enjoying the walks more than any other kind of workout. To be honest, my period this month and the hypoglycemia totally threw off my workout rhythm, so I’m kinda just back to going with what feels right.

I just watched this cool video about 100 squats a day for 30 days challenge and I’m thinking of implementing a different kind of workout routine than just doing Chloe Ting or Emi Wong videos. Those are great guides, but idk if HIIT is really what I feel I need to build muscle how I want. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t have the specifics, but I’m thinking of doing 100 squats, 100 sit ups (or leg lifts), a minute of planks and 30 knee push ups a day, in addition to an arm focused HIIT workout. This in addition to occasional walks seems pretty doable, though I don’t like being strict on “daily” requirements.

Anyway, the maintenance week is going pretty well! Allowing myself to eat close to maintenance or even over a few days really helps get my head back in the game, and because everything has been so difficult mentally lately this was a good decision! After this week I’m going to attempt 3 weeks deficit like I did the first time and see how that goes. If my body and mind need a maintenance week after 2 weeks again, though, I’ll listen to it.