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I’m always doing stupid things.
every summer. always fucking it up. i can’t say i regret it. even though i want to. i think thats what makes me sick the most. if i had any morals. or self respect for myself i would regret it right? how sick of me. maybe i just do it because i know I’m hopeless. and everyone knows it too. are there nicknames for me? i feel like ppl say if half heatedly if there are. because theres no way i could actually do it while loving at the same time. all the stories about me are empty. they mean nothing. because. I’ve never felt anything. i tell them with no shame because i guess i feel like. well. i already know I’m fucking myself over. and i think when ppl find out its not surprising. because I’m hopeless. why do i keep doing this to myself. I’m not ok with it. but i am. if i keep this up I’m for sue bonn a half to pay the price one day. and I’m not stupid enough for that. i need to do things with meaning. everything i do is empty. i truly am the worst.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
I miss him and love him more than anything in the entire world. It’s his birthday tomorrow. August 14th. One of the most important dates in my entire life. Oh what I would do and give to be able to celebrate it with him. I had planned a day for him a while back, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to complete those plans. I just hope he will be happy and smiling. I hope he has a wonderful birthday tomorrow. He deserves it.
😔😔😔
Sobrang miss na miss na kita be, ang hirap ng ganito. Hindi tuloy tuloy yung usap natin, dito na kang sana tayo babawi e para mabawasan ang kungkot sa atin, pero nawala pa yung wifi nyo, alam ko be nah eeffort ka na magpocket wifi at 3g mo thank you dun, pero sanay pa din ako ng mahabang kras tayo nagchachat video call man or simpleng chat lng sa fb. Miss na kitang kaskype be. Sana be maayos na wifi nyo, sobrang nalulungkot lang ako. I love you baby 😘
Times short.
And now my boy Jordan’s friend dies at her early 20′s. Such a young person going so early is hear wrenching.
So I say this again. For the people you have friendships or relationships with, keep them close, keep the passion going because you’ll never know when they’ll leave, disappear, or forget you.
8.13.15
The "no entry" entry. Yesterday I took my Chemistry test, which I'm pretty sure I'll fail, and tomorrow I'll take my math one. I've known for months thats I'd have to take them but I studied for neither and if I didn't feel stupid enough, profs are already asking us to do projects related to the career we want to choose. I don't fit in in any of their interests! They want to get into film industry, drama and design, I want to write chronicles and articles and make an impact in peoples lives, make them see the world in a different perspective... They don't want out of the box, they want square so you can earn money and survive. I just wanna be happy, that's my goal, not money! I said and my Philosophy prof. answer was "Education that doesn't make a great income, isn't a education." Well, fuck.
‘joshuadun’ on snapchat
‘joshuadun’ on snapchat