#8.31.19

[edo-vivendum]

12:23am

Why am I awake? Why why why

Tw in tags below

[missinvisibleandco]

"Disconnect"

(8.31.19)

[turnerburns]

Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit Live in Beaver Dam, KY 08/31/2019

[brown-and-down]

Im not going to cry

I have to think hard about what I want, how to act with this enormous weight of guilt, hurt, confusion, tad bit of jealousy.

[brown-and-down]

It’s been a long while.

A lot has happened

I thought I was getting better I really thought that some of this healing process would work. I’m up high, living, getting over things. I’m dragged down bc I kept looking back. It’s so scary to not know how to overcome this, it’s terrifying to think of a plan to make you feel better when you know your negative thoughts are relapsing. Deep down I know I have to work towards becoming better. From the events recently taken place, I’m genuinely scared of how to speak to people I want to be close with. My words, my tone, the delivery of my voice effects those people. I only want my voice to be associated with how proud of who I have become, how gentle I want to be, how genuine of a person I want to be. What I want to be. I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing. So I withdrawal. It was great getting to know all of you. I wish I could have some thing that’s not a person to make me feel better. I want to cling to what truly makes me happy so I can feel confident in myself. Confidence in myself is what. I want.

[purenumbers]

8/31/19

8 * 3 * 1 = (1 + √9)!

Also:

8 + 3 - 1 = 1 + 9

Also:

8 - 3 - 1 = 1 + √9