The desk was filled with an orderly mess of files, books, and paperwork. Although the sun provided good lighting already, a green desk lamp further illuminated the surface. Behind the desk sat a woman who appeared to be in her late 30s. It looked as if she was entirely concentrated on reading the files she had in front of her. In her right hand, she held a fountain pen – black with gold accents – which she used to jot down lines in her notebook every once in a while. She had a serious expression, her solemnity enhanced by the half-moon reading glasses that were perched on the tip of her nose.
Once in a while, she glanced up from her work to look at the clock, revealing light green eyes with little brown flecks in them. Eyes that, when one looked at her, didn’t seem quite out of ordinary. Though, when one would bother to look in her eyes, they would notice they reflected a certain coldness that so contrasted with everything else they saw in her. Her delicate appearance; her beautiful brown hair (no one, not even her husband, knew she dyed it); her figure that was so surprisingly petite for a mother of three children; her mannerisms, which were ladylike up to the smallest details.
She was envied and admired, feared and loved, and she enjoyed it. She took a sort of comfort out of the way men looked at her. Out of the envy she saw in women’s eyes when they saw her – as if they located a threat to them or their marriage – and the glanced men threw her way when they thought she wasn’t looking, yet she was.
All those looks, those glances, were a sort of replacement, a confirmation even, that she was indeed beautiful – desirable, even – and that it was not her fault, but his. Because behind that intelligent and beautiful woman, whom people thought to be successful both in her business and personal life, was an unsatisfied being who never achieved what she truly desired: affection.
It wasn’t something people expected of a woman with her appearance, especially not considering she had three children, but it was true. He hadn’t touched her in months – if it wasn’t already a year by now… she lost track – and it had always been the same. She had tried everything. Marrying him had been the first step in getting him to see for what she really was: a woman. Though all he had seen in her for those many years of marriage was a person. An academically advanced person; a true lady with whom he – self-proclaimed gentleman – could share his cases, and who shared hers with him. But that was all. It was as if he overlooked everything else, everything that made her into who she was. All her wants and desires, her aspirations that went beyond her like of work – invisible to him.
She didn’t know what it was like to be loved, nor was she aware of how to love another. She never realised, not even after more than fifteen years of marriage, that he didn’t truly love her, and she didn’t truly love him. He saw a comrade in her; she desired him in a way he didn’t see her, and never would. Though her lack of love, of true and unconditional love, went far deeper than that. She lacked the ability to love without pride or admiration, for her definition of love – one she knew to be entirely incorrect – always required a reason. An explanation, a motivation. She didn’t even love her own children for this reason, for they had still achieved too little in life to be proud of.
And so, behind the facade of the successful and beautiful lawyer, hid a woman who thought to miss the very essence of human nature. The ability to love separated civilised beings from unscrupulous brutes, and she feared she might be the latter. Because behind those light green eyes, behind the pattern of brown flecks, lacked a human warmth.
I was tagged to do @applesaucesims "tag urself" Sim meme/tag thing, so here it is!
I tag: @volcano-pasta @sillycaterpillas @historicalsimmer @suintor @weicyn @pandorasimbox @simblrana and anyone else who wants to do this! (If I tagged you and you'd prefer to not be tagged in the future, please tell me so I can keep it in mind :) )
Now that I’ve posted the prologue of this story, I figured it might be time for some explanation! I’ve made a few categories under the cut, so feel free to skip to just the things you want to know ;)
...and yes, I still need to come up with a proper title.
What’s this story about?
this legacy/story follows a small household that lives in Amsterdam. Rob and Margo live in a semi-small apartment. Recently Rob’s friend, Claude, moved in with them after going through a rather troublesome divorce. While Claude loses himself in Amsterdam’s nightlife, the increasingly irritable Margo hopes he’ll move out as soon as possible (and ignores the increasing sympathy she feels for the man who appears to differ considerably from the image he projects.) Will a certain common ground eventually forge a friendship between the two, or will Margo throw Claude out on the streets in the end? This story doesn’t have a set ending, as it’s kind of a legacy at the same time. (And I just have too much planned for these characters!)
It’ll treat some themes that are specifically related to the ‘80s (Dutch and international), as well as themes that are still relevant. I won’t say much about it though, because I don’t want to spoil too much!
What’s the setting?
It’s set in Amsterdam, in the early 80s. I still haven’t decided on the exact date, but it’s probably going to be somewehere around mid-1980.
Does the story start in the ‘60s?
Nope! The prologue is kind of like a flashback. I might occasionally return to earlier times throughout this story for more flashbacks.
When will I post?
I don’t have a set schedule or anything. I’m aiming for about once a week, but my posting frequency will probably vary a lot depending on my current inspiration and the amount of posts I have in stock.
What about the Canfields?
This is just a side project! If all goes as planned, I’ll still be posting about my Decades Challenge (almost) every day.
Meet Margo, who might end up getting a name change because I’m not sure if I like this one for her.
She’s one of the Sims I made for the early ‘80s save I mentioned in my tags the other day. I haven’t fully developed her, but she’s complaintive and a bit of a nitpicker. Nonetheless she’s really nice if, and only if she likes you. She gives everyone a chance, though, and generally doesn’t hold anything against people...
...except her husband’s friend who conveniently moved in with them a few months ago, and doesn’t appear to want to leave anytime soon. Her conscience is the only thing to keep her from throwing him out onto the streets, but for how long?
Lea’s full name is Cornelia Aaltje van der Vaart, but she just goes by Lea most of the time. She moved to Amsterdam when she was just nineteen years old and worked in a variety of places, until she was hired as a secretary for a retirement home. She and her boss get along splendidly; over time, he developed into a bit of a father figure for her.
She’s 36 years old and about as playful as a 10-year-old, honestly.
Lea has the tendency to develop crushes on people about every 6 months, fall hopelessly in love, and then have her heart broken a few weeks later. Margo used to feel sorry for Lea, but now she just laughs empathetically. If that’s even a thing.
Lea has quite a story to her, and I’ve planned so many subplots for her that I could almost give her her own story if I wanted to, lol.
A very quick sneak peek of what’s likely to be the first post for my 80′s save!
I still have lots of work to do before I’ll actually start posting things for this, and I still have to decide how much “stock” I want to have before I’ll start publishing actual storyparts.
(I’ve included some things I’m still considering under the cut, because I don’t want to clog up any feeds.)
There are so many technical details to decide on! I don’t know if I want these posts to be a regular thing one day a week, whether I’ll just post them whenever I finish one, or if I’ll build up such a massive stock that I could post twice a week for a couple of months without having to make new posts in the near future. I think it’s between posting once a week (with a “stock” of 2 or 3 posts) and just posting whenever I finish something. I like to be consistent with my posts (thank you, Tumblr queue,) but I also like to just post something whenever I finished it -- which is usually when I’m most proud and least doubtful of my work!
I also have to think of the formatting. I like using captions sometimes, but I’m really a writer at heart. So most of my posts will probably be with “normally” written pieces; I’m just not sure if I want to include captions just yet, because I like my post stile to be consistent as well!
Then there’s still the problem of side characters! Lea, for example. She’s supposed to be a side character, but eventually got her own side characters for her own story that’s independent of the rest. I could follow her, too, or just let her talk to Margo about changes in her life instead -- with only occasional storyparts that are directly about her. But I feel like I’d be neglecting her in that case! Still, I also love the idea of a side character who has things going on in her life that are completely off-screen. It adds a bit of realism at the same time, I think. But it also cuts out a great chunk of possibly interesting stuff to see!
There’s actually an entire pub that’s filled with about 6 characters, all of which have their own stories and character arcs. It’s nice and all, but I think Claude will only be seen visiting that place once or twice, and some of the regulars (the developed side characters) might not even be there when he is. They could use their own story, lol. I think Margo could become unlikely friends with one of the regulars’ wives, but how likely is that? Not at all, because she’s never going to visit the place. If she ever does, she won’t even stay long enough to chat :/
All in all, I’ll probably have to let go of a few ideas and characters to make this story work as good as possible. And to save myself from the effort of keeping up with too many characters, which is something I discovered I’m not very good at. I’m not sure why I decided to share all this, but I just had to get it out somewhere!
Margo and Rob/Robert in their home. Things can be quite peaceful when Claude isn’t around.
Margo’s parents paid for this house and most of the furniture when she and Robert had to move for reasons to be revealed somewhere in the story. Though for that great act of “charity,” they required one thing: the furniture and decorations all had to be up to their standards. Margo is used to living in her mother’s taste, however Rob still struggles with the beige and pink colour scheme – especially when he considers the monstrous flower prints that can be found everywhere he looks.
