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Bienvenue From Hell, Mon Amour - Ralph Anderson x Reader Drabble (The Outsider)

🎃 Happy Halloween! 🎃

Author’s Note: Here’s a five second fic idea I got Tuesday night... So you do get a Halloween themed fic after all! Eh... This trailer is giving me so much anxiety I just needed to get this one out of my system... 😬 In the words of Shakira, from whom my title is borrowed, I’m in ‘anxious anticipation’ No lyrics today, we’re going straight in! Disclaimer: As before, I’m never going to do justice to Stephen King, I just love the character’s so much that I’ll just try my best...! / Once again I’ve read the book I’m allowed to do this, but I’m always gonna advise spoilers before the show comes out. / AU set with no Derek or Jeannie. Premise: Hot on the heels of a suspect, this house (and your partner) are about to test a lot more than just your nerve...

Words: 2035

Warnings: Potential ‘The Outsider’ Spoilers

______ The house stood alone in the middle of the field; grass overgrown on both sides and the remoteness - including trek up here made it almost impossible to reach by car. And you were pretty grumpy by the time you reached it. This place looked one “Welcome To Hell” sign away from a Supernatural episode. Something else your partner borderline refused to watch with you. “Is there a reason we had to do this in the middle of the night?!” You hissed to your two companions. Ralph and Yune looked to each other - smiles twitching on their lips, you could tell they were both itching to laugh out loud. Considering the circumstances, they decided against it. “Well, Y/N...” Ralph folded his arms, speaking softly “You wanna catch the guy don’t you?” “...” You narrowed your eyes at him “Yes.” “Alright then we have the warrant, we search the house! Time is of the essence-!” “What - we just gonna knock on the door?!” You indicated “There are no lights on!” They looked at each other again; “We have a warrant, we’ll just force it.” Yune gave a shrug like it was the obvious answer; You rolled your eyes; ugh men! Turns out you did have to force the door, and it creaked open in an unnecessarily creepy way. You shivered; “Look I know it’s October 31st but seriously-!?” Ralph smacked your arm to get you to shut up and switched on his flashlight. The three of you listened for a minute, but there wasn’t a sound. You all exchanged looks before agreeing to step inside. Yune tried the light switch, “No power...” “Fantastic...” That left the two of you also reaching for your flashlights to follow detective Anderson’s lead; “it’s almost like this house knows the date!” “Maybe it’s haunted.” “Ralph!” He chuckled, it had never been something he’d thought about before. Funny how one case could completely change his perspective on the world. Placing his hands on his hips he turned to Yune, “I say we split... you take the upstairs, we’ll take the down...” “Alright.” He agreed with a nod, “If I find the power I’ll see if I can get that going...” Ralph gave a nod back “Thanks. Be careful.” “And you two. Watch out for El Cuco, Y/N!” You wheeled around; “Will you two STOP!” Ralph clamped a hand over your mouth and pressed a finger to his lips as the house creaked again. But that only led you to glare at him. “Alright, he could still be here... Keep your arms close...” He pushed you gently through into the corridor, “Call if you need anything...” “Feel like you’re dealing with the problem for me, Ralph!” Yune couldn’t help that last jab, which had you glaring at him next. But you knew the effect was lost in the gloomy house. “This place is awful. Do people really live like this?” You visibly shivered, it was starting to give you the creeps. “Apparently so?” Ralph kept close enough for his shoulder to brush yours, but you noticed he wasn’t holding your hand just yet. Guess if you needed to spring into action it wouldn’t really help. You liked the way your light beams occasionally crossed as you swept the house, and he could see that gentle smile even in the dark. You were such a sap sometimes. He almost pushed you, but decided you might crash into something, so he nudged you instead; “Keep it professional.” “Oh. So I can’t smile around you now?” “Certainly not, imagine what everyone would say!” But there was amusement in his voice that only had you smiling more. At least he was here; the eeriness of the house would probably be really getting to you if not. And it was so quiet, even your breathing seemed too loud. “UGH-!” You ran into another spiderweb and he had to watch you fight with it for a moment whilst still trying to stay quiet, “This place is HELL!” Eventually you reached a room that even your flashlights couldn’t penetrate. “We need better torches...” He peered around, “No, I think we just need to step inside.” You glanced at him from the other side of the doorway - there was no way in hell you were going in there first. “Well, you’re the most senior detective here.” Ralph rolled his eyes grabbing your arm, “And yet it’s your case!” He shoved you in, and you tripped on the threshold causing you to stumble with a yell. Then he couldn’t hold his laugh in. “Yeah! Very funny!” That only made him laugh harder, so you unclipped your spare torch battery and chucked it at him. “Ow! Geez-! You know that’s FCPD property!! You better go find it now! I’m not being responsible for you losing it!” “Well you are!” You pointed your light at his face and he had to shield his eyes; “No way! You threw it at me! Now search the room and do your job, detective.” You lowered your beam to the floor and then up to the wall. “This certainly looks like the kind of house a creepy murderer would live in.” “Innocent until evidence proves otherwise...” “Don’t make me blind you again...” You swept the beam over the wall, “I’m definitely thinking this is murder.” “Well...” He leant against the door frame, “What do you see detective?” You were about to answer him when there was a loud bang and a second loud creak above you. You visibly jumped, and placed your hand over your heart. It was almost impressive that you didn’t add a shriek. Ralph didn’t. “...It’s probably just Yune, it’s okay...” You looked across to him, opened your mouth and realised you might need a few more moments. He shook his head, “How exactly did you become a detective?!” “Do you want me to find something else to throw at you-!? Shut up!” He grinned “Tsk tsk! So feisty!” He liked that about you though; you were the hot headed impulsive one and you were a good foil to the way he was used to doing things. He learned a lot with you... You took a deep breath to focus on the wall again, but before you had a chance to answer him the room was suddenly thrown into excruciatingly bright light. “AH-!” That has you both covering your eyes. “FOUND THE LIGHTS-!” Yune called triumphantly from upstairs. “Thanks Yune! We got it!” Ralph kept his head in his arm for a second until those spots disappeared “... Think you overdid it-!!” “Oops! Sorry guys!” When you opened them again you realised that someone had got a little too creative with the fake blood, and shut off your torch. Ralph’s hands were on his hips, “Well, congratulations! You found your real crime scene!” You looked around. Yeah someone had got really creative. You knew this was supposed to be fun for Halloween but... this didn’t even look realistic anymore. He pointed, “Ah look, there’s your battery...” you followed Ralph’s point and realised that it had rolled through a particularly sticky patch of blood, leaving another streak across the floor “...Compromising evidence Y/N, just... not a good start is it.” “Shut up!!” Ralph was starting to think that was your favourite phrase of the evening. Yune’s running footsteps announced him and his face appeared in the door way, “Did she find it in time?!” “She did. Sort of. I might have had to push her in!” This was the little house that most CSI’s used for training. They had done it up especially for Halloween and you wanted to check it out. Ralph wanted in for a laugh and so had come up with an elaborate case for you to work on, based on what the forensics team had told him, and had given you until tonight to figure out the who and where. The time limit was find the room it happened in before the lights went on. So, he’d enlisted a little help from Yune to throw ‘Impossible Case’ stories at you the whole way over here to up the ante. That left you with a good case of Halloween jitters. It wasn’t funny when the monsters were real… You placed your hands on your hips, much the same way he did, and Ralph figured you were beginning to pick up some of his habits. He’d have to curb the enthusiasm just a bit. Like you hadn’t been outed for idolising him enough... You peered around; glad at least for some light thrown on the situation, you didn’t fancy the idea of stumbling around here in the dark now you know what befell you. You stepped carefully around the crime scene to retrieve your battery. They’d really overdone it on the fake spiderwebs, plastic body parts and been… liberal… with the fake blood. Even Ralph didn’t think he’d seen it in this much of a state before now. Yune grinned as you grimaced at your coated battery, trying to find something to wipe it on, “You’d love the back bedroom; fake skeletons just piled up everywhere. They should just open this as a haunted house, what do you think?” “Yes.” “NO!” Your and Ralph’s views were as extreme as the way in which you’d answered. And your partner chuckled again. You replaced everything on your belt and walked over, “What else have they done?” “Do they need to do anything? Isn’t it creepy enough?” Yune gave a shrug “Nah-!” Ralph nudged him “What did you drop? She jumped about 3 feet in the air.” You huffed as Yune peeled off into laughter again; “It’s gonna become a real crime scene in a minute!” Ralph raised an eyebrow and straightened his stance to give himself a couple more inches on you, his tone serious, “Threatening the life of an officer is an arrestable offence, young lady.” “Well, go on then.” He turned to Yune, “You’re the officer here...” Yune waved his hands; “Oh no, you made the threat.” Ralph folded his arms and looked back to you, “Looks like you’re off the hook.” “Oh? Forget your handcuffs, detective Anderson?” “No. I figure as I have a personal stake in this I simply cannot be involved.” You looked to Yune, who once again looked like he was trying desperately hard not to crack up. “I can’t believe you dealt with this in Texas.” He let out enough of a laugh then, “I can’t believe you deal with this - in fact you choose to deal with this.” “Appreciate the support.” Ralph’s voice was dry and he took a step back looking around; “Oh no!” He gasped, “Guess I forgot my kit-! Can’t be helped, we’ll have to call in CSI... tomorrow.” “Tomorrow?! When we stand in the middle of the scene?!” You spread your arms and walked in a tight circle to make your point, “Surely we should be processing this immediately-! What about the integrity of the crime scene!?” You tapped your watch; much the same as he was constantly doing with you. Ralph liked teasing you as if you were a rookie, because you were susceptible to answering him back in ways that often made him laugh. And he knew he needed that - still, he didn’t really want to end up having to handle a mini version of himself. Yup. I defiantly have to curb the enthusiasm... He waved a hand at the mark your spare battery had left; “There’s your integrity right there...” You glared at it for a minute; damn equipment-! Yune checked his watch at seeing you tap yours, “Yeah, c’mon man-! You gotta be kidding, it’s barely even midnight!” “Which means it isn’t Halloween, it’s November 1st, and we can leave.” He looked expectantly to you, “Plus they’ll want it back for actual work tomorrow... c’mon I had a hard-enough time pushing you in here don’t tell me I have to drag you out?!” Your eyes flicked between them again, before you sighed, defeated “... He has a point.” “Thank you!” Yune looked more than a little disappointed as you tracked back through the house and you tried not to marvel at the Halloween decorations too much. But someone in that CSI team had a pretty wild imagination to say the least. “...Next time...” He flicked the lights off “It’s gonna take me two hours to find the lights..!!” Ralph held his hand out for you to hop back out into the grass, and this time put his arm around you to walk back to the car, “I’ll allow it...” “It was fun...” You at least agreed, cuddling a little further into your partner in the cool night air. Ralph looked over his shoulder at Yune with a grin, “That was kinda fun... next time we should get some live actors though, see how she deals with that.” “RALPH!!!”