#812posting

[biirdcat]

duality of man

[biirdcat]

i could pretty easily coordinate an irl date with my bf on or around,, like valentine’s day or something since we met irl; but we started dating during quarantine and haven’t seen each other since so it just,, feels like a long distance relationship and it makes me so scared that he wouldn’t like me irl even though,, we already knew each other and he still decided to date me. i just get so scared that people have suddenly massively changed their opinion of me all the time. like what if he gets so used to how i am online and what if i’ve changed during quarantine like what if he thinks i’m ugly or annoying or boring oh my god..

also i very much hate in person interaction, especially now that i’ve gone so long without it that my social anxiety goes through the roof at literally anything and my interaction battery is like.. 0% all the time. what if i get super easily agitated or bored and i come off as a killjoy annoying and mean?? hhhhhh i’m working on relationships (platonic and romantic) in therapy but god even a session once a week doesn’t feel like enough. quarantine is breaking me at a rate way faster than therapy is fixing me and i feel like my therapist doesn’t get my issues with social interaction because they’re so arbitrary and i don’t even know why i get so upset with people so easily

[biirdcat]

giving the homies an air kiss call that social kisstancing

[biirdcat]

my crush was like.. kinda into lemon demon so i started listening to it for him. and then i really loved spirit phone. and then i really loved every album i listened to after that. and now i’m somehow hyperfixated on it. and now he’s my boyfriend so i guess it worked out and it’s kinda worth it because before we started dating we would make stupid two trucks jokes about like holding hands and stuff..

[biirdcat]

twitter down? 🤕🤕🤧

[biirdcat]

mbav drives me bonkers because there’s so much of the lore is that is fully unexplored. there are no rules to this universe or why it is the way it is. it gives us a lot of freedom but also... we are lacking so much content <//3 mbav season 3 WHEN

[biirdcat]

the distinction between mbav tumblr and mbav twitter is one is ethan bi, benny gay and the other is ethan gay, benny bi

[biirdcat]

you can’t even begin to comprehend how much serotonin these two give me