#8:46pm

[ajyal-azez]

عيّناك صبحٌ في مدينة كلّها ظلام، ولمستك حدائق وردٍ ربيعة

يتسم أرضها بالسلام، فأنتَ برمتك كله كوكبيّ المعتقَ بتعاقب ليلة والنهار.

[mindnmybidness]

We Can Do It!

I hope you guys were able able to overcome what ever challenges you were experiencing this week. And I hope you were able to bounce back from any barriers you faced in the last 5 months. We’re going to be ok.

[bigheaux]

CAN I GET A HUG??? A KISS????? A CUDDLE??? A GF????

[choaswl]

ماهو عشان خاطر الوجع ده كله مش عايزاك ترجع خايفة اضعف عشان عارفة انك هتمشي تاني

[hyuuukais]

managed to stay awake long enough to reach my reading goal and am now calling it a night

[vile-nighttime]

I just got a scale that I bought online to weigh my food and I haven't had one since I met my goal weight in 2017. I gained the weight back this year bc of my family being concerned, but now I am ready to count calories again and lose the weight and im soo sooooo happy !!

[the-daily-scrommit]

January 7, 2023

Jan 7, 2023 - Fourth entry

Today has been fairly dull and a bit depressing. Not much happened, which is both a good and a bad thing. I got out of bed late again after staying in for longer than I needed to be, my parent, sibling and I went to my grandparents' house for dinner, I talked a bit about my breakup and life in general there, got home, and now I'm here.

I haven't texted my ex today, unless you want to count me texting them before bed after our call last night or me emoji reacting to the instagram post they sent me earlier today. They've been on my mind a lot, and I certainly miss them, but texting them hasn't felt as important. I think I will text them before going to bed at least, which I have to do soon because I have an early shift at work in the morning.

My head and my heart have been more heavy with romantic thoughts and feelings about them. Not towards, but certainly about. I miss their romantic partnership and promises of romantic trips together. I miss having someone to kiss and I miss them being the person I had to kiss. I can feel a part of my heart pulling very strongly towards them again. It's almost frustrating because I felt like I was so much better about that yesterday. In that frustration, I have to remind myself that the ups and downs are part of the healing. I'm no less for crying today after not crying the last few, just like I'm no more for not texting them today. I simply am.

Missing them is hard. I want to reach out to them badly, ask for a summary of their day. Maybe I still will. Maybe I'll request they call me before they sleep if they have the energy. Hearing about their day has been a highlight for me, because it always leads to conversation with them.

It feels like going to bed will be difficult tonight. Thankfully, I think a lot of that difficulty will come from me needing to sleep four hours earlier than I have the last couple days, rather than my missing them. That definitely doesn't help my case, though. I'm lucky to live in this digital age where audios of rain and music or coffee shop and fireplace ambiance are just at my fingertips, along with audios roleplaying comforting boyfriends (Redacted ASMR is my favorite, without a doubt; love u Erik <3) when I feel like I miss my ex-partner a little extra and need a comforting voice to make up for my lack of theirs.

I'm proud of what little I've been able to do today. Nothing has ended in explosions, or chaos, or too much unbearable pain. I've reached out to friends and taken care of myself, eating a full, proper meal, and making sure I wasn't too reckless with my sore legs from yesterday's gym experience. Each day I heal a bit more and with that I get closer to starting a new art project of some sort. Someday soon I think I'll go through with it. It almost makes me thankful that I have so few hours at my job right now.

Other than more ramblings of today's mundane, I don't think there's anything left for me to say about today. Maybe in the future I'll add my morning and night tarot cards if I really want to stay and write more.

Goodnight, take care; I am sending you love <3

[brunchthesurface]

I watched Turning Red on the 19th. Also yesterday I got the upgrade for Animal Crossing New Horizons. I did some other stuff, but I can't remember what it was.