They say your life can dramatically change, in a matter of moments.
I hadn't truly grasped the depth of that, until the intense pressure of sadness and confusion showed up and sucked the life right out of my chest one day. My life ended, when I was forced to see everything for what it was, and everyone for who they are.
One year ago today, my buddy Nate passed away, and I think its fair to say, it brought everyone who knew him, to their knees that day. Nate was a rare occurrence, you find in people. He didn’t start drama, he didn’t cause problems, he didn’t make a mess or impose himself. He was just a good energy to be around, that made you feel safe to be yourself.
We didn’t know each other long, or as intimately as we could have, but we were friends, and that meant he was important to me. I value friendship, the way people care about family.
I haven't been shy, about the tremendous impact his passing had on my life. I believe in what im trying to show everyone. Perspective really is everything, and the one you have, can be obliterated in seconds.
I think, if you’ve ever walked the darkest night of your soul, gone toe to toe with the depths of your own personal sadness, woken up in confusing shame, questioning who you are, and why you are here, pondering if anyone loves you, while savagely craving human affection, than you would see why I feel such a strong need to encourage light out this darkness.
The truth is, I believe everyone, has experienced that kinda sadness. I think all of us have deep wounds, and do the best we can to work through them, and make sense of the chaos we're dealt. We just don’t say that, or talk about it. People get nervous around other peoples tragedy. We don’t deal with certain things, because of fear and insecurity. We carry sadness around, because we're afraid of what people will think if they ever really knew us.
We hide right in front of each other, and nobody's perfect. Everyone's got issues, problems, drama, chaos and sadness. To be human, you have to live your experience. All of us, are doing, what we think we have to do, in order to be, where we wanna go.
We cant all have the same story. We cant all see things the same way. We have to force ourselves, to remember, who people are, when they lose themselves to heartbreak. I think we take a bigger risk, when we don’t let people know we care.
I don’t think you can measure anyone's loss, or weigh out feelings in comparison. Love and grief just need to be honored. Its scary to let people know you love and care about them. In both, life and death.
You never know how important people are, until you do. Simple kindness, is powerful intimacy. Like letting your friend know, that you're there, if they need you. I think we all impact each other this loudly, but may not know how to say that, or see it that way.
I hope the perspective im trying to create, helps transcend a new way of healing. I hope im able to get everyone to see, how important it is, to value friendship, respect love and honor grief.
I learned a lot about who I was, in light of Nate’s passing. It showed me, that one day, all of us come to know love and death intimately. That, we all eventually meet fate, and become a part of destiny. Its petrifying, but powerful. Nate was good people, and im grateful to have known him. This is how I wanted to thank him, for being my friend.
