#8pmselfie

[8pmselfie]

Sooooo tired!! There was an evacuation in the middle of the night so I missed MANY hours of sleep. Today was a general drainer. I made a pretty necklace...but then it broke :( Just got back from music therapy #8pmSelfie

[8pmselfie]

Snuggling down to watch a dvd of Kelvin's theatre group's production of Big Red Riding Hood Today was stressful but I've got lots of support and finished Katrina's going away present. Have a good #8pmSelfie

[8pmselfie]

Happy #DeaditeDay I'm wearing my lovely Luna leggings, my anti-love candy A-line and brand new #deadite beanie for the #8pmSelfie Despite some epic stress and absolutely everything going wrong this morning today has been the best day of the week (which is saying A LOT). But I've managed to calm down and get myself in a better headspace with a little help from a cute kitty drawing from @livingdead_clothing and pressies from two of my hospital mamas, as well as a #nomlicious salted caramel chocolate from my beloved Casey, and Loki love of course. Some of you know I'm a non-practicing Wiccan, well recently I've done some small rituals and today I started a stitch witchery project to help heal my heart. I'm still hurting that it seems like only drugged up or fucked up people will ever love me, but I now know I need to follow my doctor's advice: give everyone a chance and as soon as they break that ditch them. So I'm drawing away from Tim; I'll still look after him and care about him; but unless I become his number one choice I'm not going there anymore. At the very least he's actually officially broken up with his abusive pregnant girlfriend, so hopefully he's in a more stable place to get better. I hope tomorrow is a good day, but as my art therapy work from friday shows; I have no hope. So we'll see what happens

[8pmselfie]

I told you I'd take the #8pmSelfie regardless of what state I'm in. So the last week has been shit. 2 days ago i smashed a glass bottle in my bathroom and used the shards to cut my arms until I finally pressed the emergency button. Last night I fell asleep during a free thought writing exercie. Every page was covered in "die. Die. Die. Please let me die" etc. Today i let the depression win. I stayed in bed or my floor bed all day unless someone forced me up (which happens surprisingly often). I'm currently on the floor behind my bed after falling apart in the dining room. I finisheda a present for a patient earlier which she loved. It turns out people are only interested in me when they're on drugs so yay for never getting to be loved the way I want to be. I'm tired of putting so much into people only to be crapped on. My friends and i have plans for tomorrow but now i don't know if anyone can even take me :( after i fought so hard for the psychiatrist not to remove my supervised leave allowance. My LDC order arrive at home today but i don't even know when I'll get it. I just want to die

[8pmselfie]

Had a pretty bad day, don't really want to talk about it. Had James come to visit which was nice #8pmSelfie is late again

[8pmselfie]

#8pmSelfie is a little late tonight because Matt is here again. Today has been really terrible, many many issues but I've also had tons of people checking on me. Don't worry about me <3

[8pmselfie]

My day consisted of drug changes, free form art, shopping with Casey, meeting Tim's parents when they visited, and now game of thrones #8pmSelfie

[8pmselfie]

Today has been...strange First we said goodbye to Kelvin and it was heartbreaking, but he lived the card Katrina made and the note I wrote for him. We have him our phone extensions so he can call when he wants. Then I went to "support group" which was shit and cause me anxiety. Then I went very briefly to Craft where I finished my felting cushion and started my next tree, but I had to leave early as Scott was coming to visit. I went to relaxation in the afternoon where I fell asleep and I've been chilling with Tim on and off since then. I made him some decorations for his room and we put them up. Then mum stressed me out, as usual, and I had a crazy break down, Tim hunted me down and calmed things and I turned off my phone/locked it away so she couldn't do anything further (sorry @katartillustrations if you tried planning anything for tomorrow) Now my #8pmSelfie has become yet another #9pmselfie because of chill times. I'm sorry! Hospitable is bad for my goal keeping =\ Anyhoo, seeing lovely friends tomorrow :3