My (M35) friend (M41) is dying and I have a difficult choice to make.
My friend Roy has been married for about 15 years to his wife Sara (F35). At the end of last summer Roy was diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis was bleak from the start and it’s pretty clear he’s getting to the end of the road now. Here’s the problem: I’m around 95% sure that I’m the father of Roy and Sara’s 10 year old daughter. One night about ten years ago, Sara and I were really drunk, her and Roy had been having problems and to make a long story short, we slept together. It was one time, it was a mistake, and her and Roy went on living life. Shortly thereafter she found out she was pregnant and I met the person that I eventually married. The child looks a lot like me, but Roy’s never seemed to notice. Sara and I both have pretty similar features so he’s always just chalked it up to the girl taking after her mom. Sara also said the math makes more sense for me to be the father. Last time we spoke I told him my wife and I will help Sara however I can after he’s gone, and years ago I set aside money for a college fund for her (which my wife doesn’t know about). So here’s the question: do I tell him? Would you want to know if you were in his shoes? If I let him die without knowing do I eventually tell the girl? I’m ready to live with the guilt of not telling him, but part of me wonders if I would want to know if the roles were reversed.
Why the fuck would you even consider destroying your dying friend like this??? JFC, who needs enemies with friends like you around?