#900 years

[melancholic-bookaholic]

“900 years of time and space, and I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.” -The Doctor (Doctor Who)

[5-minutes-2-midnight]

Using a thesaurus like...

[akersdoll]

❤️ Egon (@multifandomocs)

(Egon headcanons!!! YES I CAN DELIVER!!! I definitely might have got carried away with this but I swear the words ‘as many headcanons as you want’ will be the death of me! @multifandomocs)

When we first met Egon REALLY wasn’t much of a talker - we’d pretty much talk business and that’s about it, mostly because the both of us were too awkward to try talking about much else and I didn’t really wanna cross any lines before I’d got settled into the job properly.

Eventually he did start warming up to me though, mostly because he was rather alarmed at just how many times I’d get smacked in the head by flying books in a rather haphazard attempt to protect him - he really does wonder how I didn’t have a concussion by that point.

When he did address it I rather pridefully responded with “If years of dodgeball in high-school taught me anything, it’s how to deal with getting hit in the face by flying objects... I’m somewhat of an expert now.”

Plot twist - he actually found that kind of funny and trust me, Egon doesn’t laugh too often but that legitimately made him laugh.

We do joke around with each other quite a bit, every time he cracks a one-liner I find it absolutely hilarious since he’s so serious most of the time and it always catches me off guard.

Through the course of everything up to Shandor Island, we got to be pretty close friends - but it’s not until that point where he realizes.... Something’s kinda different.

When I finally ended up reuniting with Egon on Shandor Island after we all got split up he swears he never saw me look more worried in my entire life - even me fighting the Spider Witch with him didn’t come CLOSE to the level of concern I’d shown him in that moment.

Sure, he kinda plays the ordeal off with a little bit of humour to try and make me feel better but deep down it kind of clicks I might actually care about him more than he thought.

Then the fact he never wants to see me that worried about him ever again makes him feel... odd, but in a nice way.

(spoilers: that’s because he likes me but he totally doesn’t get how emotions work - what the heck is this warm fluffy feeling???)

After that our whole dynamic kind of shifted a bit, I begun to notice he was a lot more careful, that and he became much more defensive about me getting hit in the head with stuff that much - of course he claims it’s because he’d rather not have the possibility of me getting knocked out or concussed but we goddamn know it’s because he now wants to start protecting me as much as I’ve protected him.

On my end, I started attempting to help him out with his research more, even though I’m nowhere near his skill level he still seems appreciative of my help and having an extra pair of hands - plus the fact I usually bring coffee and snacks is always a bonus.

I’m eager to try my best to learn about stuff though which he finds rather refreshing, so he’ll do his best to teach me what he knows.

(Not saying I started considering our little study sessions as unofficial dates, but with the amount of not-so-subtle glancing and random small talk there’d end up being - how could I not.)

When I eventually do start using Egons’ level of technobabble I’m pretty sure everyone knows where I got it from, plus the fact I seem to get it so quickly lets them know how much time I end up spending around him.

I’m pretty sure when Ray first asked Egon if he liked me he nearly spat out his coffee, but as soon as Ray explained at length how much had been going over his head he felt like a goddamn idiot.

Seriously, the level of dense he’d been on up to this point.... Unfathomable.

Maybe that’s why after that he finally decides to bite the bullet and ask me out on a date officially - of course he had absolutely no idea how though, meaning he was kind of haphazard about it.

Luckily me being me, I found it goddamn adorable - it was definitely worth it to see the small smile he gave me when I actually accepted.

[mightbeawriter1]

First time for everything, mate.  

[runtheblueline]

Just in case you needed a reminder...

[alunah-lalunah]

The Cost of Being True to Yourself

Obedience to yourself sounds noble, but most people don’t know which part of themselves they’re obeying. That’s the trap. Most inner commands aren’t you; they’re internalized parents, inherited narratives, guilt structures, survival protocols. So the simplest true advice is this.

First, learn to recognize your inner orders. Before obedience, comes discernment. You cannot obey yourself until you know which voice is the organism and which is the parasite.

Track inner commands. Whenever you think I should, I must, I owe, stop. Whose voice is this? Whose interest does this serve?

Separate coercion from necessity. Coercive impulses come with tension, guilt, collapse. Necessity comes with a quiet clarity that this is mine to do.

Test every command against your body. Obey what nourishes vitality, clarity, and functional self-coherence. Reject what brings self-betrayal, even if it's "virtuous.”

Sustain solitude. Obedience to self requires distance from voices that want to recruit you. If your environment constantly tries to shape your behavior, obedience becomes impossible.

Accept the cost. Obedience to the organism will make you incomprehensible to others. They will call you selfish, strange, unloving. That’s how you know you’re not performing the old program.

The hard part isn't obedience. The hard part is removing the false “selves” pretending to be you.

Only when the parliament of ghosts is expelled can the organism hear the one voice that never lied.

[douxie-casperan]

If you wish upon the stars Will they give you all you ask? You never know You never know If you wander from the path Will you come to any harm? You'll never know You'll never know You got the key to fit the lock Time to stop the clocks Leave the fear behind We can light up the world With a secret we're keeping I know you believe it Light up the world With a secret we're keeping I know you believe it Do you cross your heart Does it make you who you are? You'll never know You'll never know If the spark becomes a flame Would it warm or cause you pain? You never know You never know You got the key to fit the lock Time to stop the clocks Leave the fear behind

[amaranstein]

900 Years

Body. Body. Have a body. Right? Where is the body. I’m in it. I was in it. I was in a few. A bit confused. A bit confused. A bit confused. Apologies for repeating that. I was thinking. I don’t want to show you my thoughts. My body is now metal and silicone, that’s good. It looks like a Human. It must be to communicate with some Humans.

Wait, time slipped. Time slipped more. I’m in a bedroom.

A window looks out into space, I looked out it. I remember being a person. Living on Earth. In the 22nd century. I had a name, multiple. I lived 120 years. I had a husband. Where was he? Next to me, laying. He looks young, younger than I remember, we must’ve come into money. That’s right, we did.

We succeeded in art-related things. Made money, oh wow I feel so connected to that identity, of her. Separated. Separated from anything else I ever was. I’m beginning to have sensations. I can’t even remember what I used to be. I don’t think I was really her. But I don’t think I’ll remember that that’s true.

“What are you doing?” Arel said.

“I was looking out the window, I’m sorry, maybe I should go back to sleep.” I responded.

I hugged him, laying next to him. Looking into his glossy, unreal eyes. We stayed there. For hours. The sun never came up. There was no sun, it was far away. When we woke up, he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. I went into the living room and looked at the wall with imagery on it.

I walked to the kitchen and found some food, I ate it, but it felt weird going down my tube. The one in my body. It was supposed to feel wetter. I think. I was very confused. 700 years. That may have been how much time had passed. No. That’s how long we had been in this home. We’ve been here for 902 years. That’s when we left Earth. What is Earth like? It must be different, after all this time. My husband came into the living room, looking at me from a few feet away.

“I miss you, I think.” He said. I think we weren’t even trying anymore—to have a grip on ourselves.

It’s so painful. Not knowing if I’m really myself. Who even is that. What happened to her? Why didn’t she come? What am I?

“YOU’RE SPEAKING OUT LOUD.” My husband began, “YOU WHORE.”

“I’m sorry.” I purposefully said.

I walked out of the cabin, into the hallway where many other doors could be seen, was anyone alive? In the way that they were intended to be? A cat came up to me and spoke to me. “I am alive. Organically.” It said. “I can feel your thoughts, ma’am.” It finished.

“How long have you been here?”

“I’m 200 years old.” The cat said, it was a bit taller than the cats I remember from Earth. It was also more decorated, more expressive.

“I was 120 before, now I’m 1,022.” I shared my age too.

“That’s nice, I know you were made on another world.”

“Is my flesh body alive? Or the continuation of the consciousness that existed in it? Is that me?” I asked.

“It is not you, it can’t be, but she is alive. Some things happened. There are multiple of you, helping each other out by spreading to different worlds.” The cat answered.

“I see, why, though?”

“She wanted to see different planets, many, but couldn’t go herself to all of them, or didn’t want to. She wanted something akin to her to remember them, and bring them back to her, the memories—she also wanted to bring herself to new cultures that would be made. You mirror her thought process, her experience, you provide what she provided.”

“That makes sense. So, someday, in the far future I suppose, I’ll reenter with her and she’ll be me and I’ll be her? How long will that be? How do we even know she’ll be here?”

“She’ll be here, if not how she is, as something else. Who knows what will be created in that time. Y’know, cats on Earth couldn’t even speak, or understand these things. My ancestors were gifted certain cognitive abilities, with as much consent as could be given, of course. Now we can understand ourselves and contribute to civilization.” The cat said.

“True, they couldn’t, could they. I’m glad you can. You seem nice. Was her memory also fragmented? Is that why mine is?” I asked.

“Yes.”