Yall ever have the issue where you'll be dating someone of the same gender, and you suddenly feel straighter. And then you date someone of a different gender and you suddenly feel gayer? V annoying, do not like.
It’s not uncommon for bi people to go through phases where they have different preferences. And those phases can be triggered by outer circumstances such as starting to date a person.
For me personally I noticed that when I started dating my boyfriend that actually caused me to be MORE into men at the time because him being there reminded me of how hot men are. Before that I had a phase of not really having a preference at all and then after a while it evened out again and now I’d say I am back in no-preference-land.
Other bi people have also talked about experiences similar to yours. All of this is a fairly common way of experiencing bisexuality. I think the key here is to stop thinking of your attractions as “gay” versus “straight”. There shouldn’t be a sense of competition or the idea that you have to be equally attracted to all genders to be a “true bi person”. Try to remind yourself again and again that no matter whom you are dating and not matter what your preferences are you can still be 100% bi. And whatever gender you are attracted to it is always a bi attraction. So when you are super hot for a guy? That’s a sign of you being bi. Crushing hard for a woman? Sign of you being bi! Being totally in love with a non-binary person? Sign of you being bi!
Also I guess another explanation to feeling gayer/straighter depending on your partner’s gender can come from not feeling like you belong into either of those two worlds which can be an aspect of internalised biphobia. Like, when you’re in an m/f relationship you realise how little you have in common with cisheteronormativity and that makes you feel very “gay” in comparison to a straight partner. And then, when you’re in a same-gender relationship you might be hit by that fear of “not being queer enough” so you you feel like you are “straight” in comparison to a gay partner. If that makes sense?