Oct 23, 2024
Bugün yeni yaşımın ilk günü☺️ hayırlı ve mübarek olsun..Allah herkesi kendi gibi insanlar ile karşılaştırsın..yürekten amin amin amin amin ya Rabbim 🤲🤲🤲
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Bugün yeni yaşımın ilk günü☺️ hayırlı ve mübarek olsun..Allah herkesi kendi gibi insanlar ile karşılaştırsın..yürekten amin amin amin amin ya Rabbim 🤲🤲🤲
March 26, 2017. 9:04 PM.
Why do things in my life seem way more complicated than I want them to be? I slept with the guy I used to really like in high school, and now we’re in this weird gray area. I’m starting to really like this guy who’s younger than me. And the guy I refuse to let myself fall for has texted me out of the blue.
The guy I slept with likes me but doesn’t want a relationship. The guy I’m starting to really like and I are just trying to talk more to see if we truly do like each other in that way. The guy I refuse to let myself fall for claims he loves me and has for a while, but we can’t be together because of distance.
It feels weird knowing how people feel. It makes me feel a tad confused. What makes this feeling worse is being around my best friend and her boyfriend.
As much as I’m happy for my best friend to finally find someone who loves her and fills her up with joy, I look at them and think about how lonely I feel. I feel like it’s never just me and her anymore, but it’s the three of us. As inclusive as they are, I still feel left out. I can’t blame her though. It’s normal for a couple to spend a lot of time together when they begin their relationship.
Just once, though, I want something that isn’t complicated. I’ve tried to leave it all to fate, but she’s just fucking cruel.
Taldurchfahrt
Berlin, 9:04, Tag 1074
Heute Nacht von einer Giraffe geträumt, die mit uns gemeinsam gegessen hatte. Zeitig hoch, ruhige kurze Meditation. Guter Morgen.
Das Tal scheint durchschritten. Die letzten drei Tage fast depressiv, von bösen Geistern besessen, nur im Ego, nur im Ärger, nichts klappt. Was für ein Anfall.
Schwer, sich da wieder raus zu hieven. Wollte wieder rauchen, wollte shoppen, wollte…
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I hate this .. I hate that I feel like I forgot how to talk to you .. I hate that I’m crying right now .. I hate that I got this really bad feeling lastnight .. I hate that I feel like your losing feelings .. I hate that I feel like we are losing our connection .. I hate that I’m crying .. Two nights in a row & I can’t even talk to you about it .. I hate that I can’t see you .. I hate that .. I hate that I feel so much worry .. I hate that we hardly talk on the phone anymore first time in a week .. I hate that I’m not handling all of this so easily .. I hate that you have all these things to distract you & I have nothing so I’m stuck thinking .. I hate that I feel like this isn’t even effecting you but maybe it’s because I’m a girl .. I hate this ..
Today was great.
i still havent gone to sleep its 9:04 am
im a go do that