Ambaghai comes to the matches, but that’s all that can be said.
He doesn’t wish him luck, nor congratulate him on any victories. He doesn’t sit in the stands to watch, only waits in the rooms beneath for the match to be done.
Ambaghai checks over Dayir’s gear before the match, avoiding meeting his eyes as he ensures there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s a heavy silence between them when Dayir speaks to him he receives only one-word responses.
It’s a poor attempt to try to mask his disapproval. To act like he’s fine with Dayir being here. But Amba’s an even worse actor than he is a liar.
Before he leaves for the match Dayir offers him a half-smile. He tries.
“Wish me luck?”
Ambaghai gives him a long look, and Dayir pretends he doesn’t see the resentment in his eyes before he crosses his arms and turns his gaze away.
And then it’s time for the match.
It’s not just about winning, but putting on a show. He’d had that drilled into him after his first few wins. He’s not just here to fight, but to entertain.
Now he draws out the fights, dodging around opponents and striking with motions not commonly seen in Eorzea, throwing in unnecessary and often impractical acrobatics to the mix. He usually has his opponent panting before he delivers a winning blow.
He’s had to learn to take a fall. Both because - as he’s learned is common in Ul’dah - some of the matches are rigged, and because of his own oddities. To take a blow and act as though it affects him the same way it would anyone else. A gash to the leg that should bring him to a knee. A blow to the abdomen that should leave him writhing in pain. Not that it doesn’t hurt. It just doesn’t stop him. So he puts on an act, playing it as dramatically as he can - a valiant resistance in the face of defeat, or an unlikely victory pulled from the last moment.
The crowd cheers, and he retreats to the rooms beneath the stands.
Ambaghai waits for him, checks over him. He’s convinced the Colosseum staff and some of the other fighters that he’s a proper magical healer, so that they don’t question the rate that his wounds heal, hoping they don’t notice the inconsistency between himself and Khai.
Amba doesn’t comment when he finds a wound, wraps it in bandages. He had the first few times, but in the end, he doesn’t want to fight.
Dayir knows that Ambaghai would be happier if he quit the Colosseum altogether, but in truth, he doesn’t want to. There is something satisfying to holding his blades - one more familiar to him than his own reflection in a mirror - in each hand. About fighting an opponent that he isn’t expected to kill, or maim, or slaughter. The fact that he’s chosen to be here, fighting against people who have - for the most part - also chosen to be here. Not against some farmer’s son forced to take up arms in a fight that neither of them even want to fight.
The physical fight comes with a sense of release that he needs at present. And the choice brings him a sense of liberty he’s craved for years.
Perhaps he should tell Ambaghai that, but he doesn’t. Because he doesn’t want to speak about the intervening years. So the words and the reasons go unspoken.
Usually when they return from the arena the tension disappears. He can joke with Amba the way he used to, hold lazy conversations, or simply lean up against him with a dog or a book or both.
Sometimes it remains and spurs another fight.
“-- Not made of glass, Amba! And I’d appreciate it if you’d stop treating me as though I were!” Frustration laces Dayir’s tone, his voice raised, though not quite at a shout.
“Well, if you’d stop acting like you’re invincible -” Amba retorts, and Dayir cuts him off.
“You don’t know that I’m not!”
“And you don’t know that you are!”
Dayir clenches his jaw, takes a deep breath as he directs his eyes at the ceiling, “That doesn’t mean you can just bundle me up in a pile of woolen blankets and tuck me away into a corner somewhere where nothing can ever touch me!”
“I wasn’t - I’m not -” A clench of fists as Ambaghai works out his words, “It doesn’t mean you should be willingly putting yourself in positions where you can get hurt!”
“Because you died, Dayir! I can’t -” Ambaghai’s mouth continues to move for a second even after words stop coming out. He snaps it shut, twists some rings on his fingers and - when he notices what he’s doing - clenches his hands into fists.
Dayir has no response, and Ambaghai turns toward the door.
But Khai’s there already, blocking Amba’s path.
“No! You only ever run away when there’s an issue! Why don’t you talk? You used to talk!”
Ambaghai makes a grab for Khai’s shirt, attempting to drag him away from the door, but only prompting Khai to grab him by the shoulders and push him backward away from it.
“Okay, enough, enough!” Dayir makes a grab for Amba - the easier to corral of the two - and drags him away from Khai.
“Let go!” Ambaghai moves to brush Dayir away, but Dayir’s already released him before he can get the full request out.
Abrupt silence falls over the room, both Dayir and Khai’s eyes trained on Ambaghai, who makes for the door again. Khai blocks his way again.
And despite his frustration, Dayir feels a pang of concern run through him as he watches Ambaghai. He doesn’t try again, only stands, seemingly rooted to the spot, as he moves his hands about as though he doesn’t know what to do with them, fists clenching and unclenching.
A hand moved to the back of his neck, fingers digging in briefly before he moves it away again, finally crossing his hands - both fists clenched tight - under his arms.
Signs that he’s reached the point of emotional stress that steals the words out of his throat.
Ambaghai whirls on a heel brushes past Dayir on the way to the bedroom.
“Amba -” Khai starts to go after him, but Dayir holds his hands up to stop him.
“Khai, I know you mean well, but you can’t just force Amba to talk. He doesn’t work like that.”
Khai’s frustration vanishes immediately as his expression twists into one of upset, “I know, I just -”
Dayir looks toward the bedroom and a memory flashes through his mind.
Ambaghai’s forehead pressed against his clavicle, clinging at him like a lifeline while Dayir tells him to breathe. The breath is long and ragged, as though even breathing has become a struggle. His thumb brushing over Amba’s hair, holding him close as he tries to help him through whatever’s happening in his head.
Dayir rubs a hand over his face. “He really hasn’t gotten better, has he?”
“Worse,” Khai answers, and unhappy frown on his face.
Dayir closes his eyes and nods. “Okay,” he takes a deep breath. “Alright.”
He turns toward the bedroom.
Amba sits on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his arms crossed on his knees. He doesn’t so much as twitch when Dayir drifts over to him.
“Amba,” Dayir kneels in front of him, placing a solid hand on his shoulder and trailing it down his arm, “I’m still pissed, but we’ll deal with that later. Right now I just need you to breathe, okay?”
He moves his hand over one of Amba’s fists, brushing a thumb over his knuckles.
It takes a few moments for Ambaghai to even respond to his presence, but eventually he unclenches his fist enough to wrap his fingers around Dayir’s, clutching at them tightly as he leans forward to press his head to Dayir’s. Dayir raises his other hand to Amba’s shoulder.
It takes a while, but eventually he breathes normally, his grip on Dayir’s fingers loosening.
By the time he speaks again, they’re both sitting on the bed, backs against the wall. Close, but not quite touching. Puffball has invited her to curl up on Amba’s lap, and he massages her fur absently.
“I’m sorry. I just -” a sigh, “I don’t-”
Dayir places a hand on Amba’s knee and Amba looks over at him.
“Later. When you’ve thought it out.”
Ambaghai looks conflicted, but eventually he nods, dropping his gaze to Puffball.
Dayir gets up to leave, but Amba grabs his hand before he can.
Dayir squeezes his hand in a silent, ‘you’re welcome.’
“I’m still pissed at you.”
Ambaghai lets go of his hand so he can leave. Dayir pauses. He reaches a hand to the side of Amba’s neck and leans in. A quick kiss to the forehead.
“Well figure this out,” he says. Then slides off the bed and leaves.