The lost generation
Part 1 - The Last Time
Even after two hundred years, he would recognise those steps. As soon as he heard the rhythmic beat of her heels against the cobblestones, he felt his heartbeat speed up. Time slowed down and the rain hitting his face no longer bothered him. His legs led him towards her on their own. She was standing at the Jumpin’ Goat bar, holding an umbrella in her hand and looking at her watch. He hadn't seen her for over two years, he had heard rumours that she had settled in Wales, supposedly in the forest away from people. It didn’t surprise him, she may have been a popular girl at school, but she was more of a loner, like him.
„Lily,” he choked out at last, as if in a voice not his own. She turned slowly towards him, she was dressed head to toe in black. Evidently she was returning from a funeral. She had not changed over the years. She continued to be beautiful, perhaps even more beautiful, more mature. She looked him straight in the eye, she wasn’t frightened, she didn’t run away, she stood confidently with a poker face - as befitted a Gryffindor, only her eyes showed what she really felt. He could see in them that she was surprised by his presence, annoyed even. She tightened her hand on her umbrella.
„Serverus” she finally said emotionlessly. He swallowed his saliva and took a step towards her. She did not step back, as he expected she stood still, unmoving, calm. As if they weren’t at war and he wasn’t a Death Eater. „ What are you doing here ? „ She asked, putting her hand in her pocket, where she probably had her wand. He swallowed his saliva.
„I”m shopping," he lied. He could see in her eyes that she knew it was a lie. She furrowed her eyebrows and shifted from foot to foot. „ And you?”
„I”m coming back from Edgar’s funeral,” she said confidently, but he knew it came with great pain. He knew exactly what had happened to Bones. Ha, he himself had put his hand to it. They cared about ending the rebellion - what the Dark Lord called the Order. That’s why, by this year, they were hunting down members of the Order in a more fierce way. They had a list and one by one they eliminated people from it. Bones, the same as Longbotton, Meadowes and Potter, was an Auror. Snape had to admit that he was a very good one. However, reckless. They attacked him just after he teleported away from his girlfriend. „ But you probably know that," she chuckled mischievously. Of course he knew when the symbolic funeral of Bones was. It was literally a revue of Aurors and Order members.
„Lily… I… did „ he began to stammer. She looked at him intensely. He sighed at last. „ What are you doing here ? Really. London is dangerous now „ Lily shrugged her shoulders and breathed heavily.
„We are currently living here with James „ she said softly. He felt the anger rising in him. He couldn't believe Potter was stupid enough to live in the most dangerous city for her. „We had no choice,” she added after a moment, touching her belly as if unwillingly. He saw the ring on her hand and felt himself gathering vomit. He’d heard that she’d married Potter two years ago, but he preferred to think it was just a silly rumour.
„Why? „ He asked angrily. Lily looked at him puzzled.
„We moved last week… our house burned down,” she said confidently, but he could hear her voice breaking down. Crouch had carried out a series of attacks on houses belonging to the Order last week, but Severus didn’t think that one of them would be the one belonging to Lily. „We’re living temporarily with Sirius until the new house is ready for use."
„Oh „ he chuckled to himself. So that’s why he didn’t see Black recently „ he thought, he knew exactly where Black lived. He'd been stalking him for a few months, waiting for a good time to strike. The fact that Lily was now living with the bastard didn’t make his task any easier. „ So…”
„How about you? „ She asked with a forced smile. Severus looked down at his hands. He preferred to talk about her. All he wanted to do was look at her and hear about her life.
„Well, you became a healer ? „ he changed the subject. Lily’s eyes seemed to light up for a split second.
„Yes, I became one,” she said proudly.
„I am glad to know that it was your dream.”
„Yours once, too „ she said sadly, tucking a falling strand of her hair behind her ear. It was shorter than at school, now it reached her shoulders. „ Life had turned out strangely. We used to have the same dreams and plans. You remember „ he looked into her eyes, so beautiful, looking at him with sadness and disappointment.
„I will never forget that „ he whispered. „ I will always, always remember … „ he grabbed her hand. She squeezed it slightly. He moved his palms over the smooth skin of her palm. He smiled broadly, for the first time in years. They stood like that in silence for a long moment. He played with her rings on her ring finger. A beautiful emerald surrounded by diamonds, he thought, that must have cost a fortune. But after a while he stopped touching them, preferring not to think who had given her this jewellery. „ I didn’t have time to go to the course, but I’ll do it. When we finish this war then… then I Lily will become a healer and save people. Yes „ he looked into her eyes. „ Just like we planned together."
"I have to go" she said, collecting her hand. "I hope … that you find happiness and peace" she smiled weakly and started to walk. He grabbed her by the elbow. She looked at him shocked.
"Stay. Lily … stay. You're not safe with him" she tried to take her hand away, but he clenched it even tighter. „ Stay with me I will protect you. You’ll be safe. I love you „ he shouted desperately. „ I have always loved you. We can still work it out. We’ll work together at the hospital. And Potter… He’s an Auror, he won’t live long, you know what we do …
„I know exactly what you’re doing,” she growled with fury in her eyes. „ Like me, like my friends. How dare you talk about James. My husband puts his life and health at risk every day because „ she pushed him with all her force. „ You guys want to get rid of muggles and rule the world. Every day for eight years I've been dying of fear for my friends and my husband, and you have the nerve … You have the nerve to tell me to stay, that you will save people after the war. What about those who are alive now. What about them! Do you know how many patients I've had die this week? Twenty five and that's because of your attacks. You think I could be with you… with you. I have a husband I love. I'm carrying his child. How can you even… „ she shouted.
„You’re pregnant „ he interrupted her suddenly. Lily clutched her stomach and took a step backwards. She looked at his hand in which was the wand. He didn't know when he pulled it out and started pointing it at her. Only now did he notice the terror in Lily's eyes. She pulled the wand herself and slowly stepped backwards. It was as if they had gone back in time only the surroundings were different.
„Yes, the third month, not showing yet „ she said breathlessly.
„You”re pregnant with him,” he shouted. „ Have you completely lost your mind. How can you be such a stupid, dumb bitch „ he growled. „ Just now in the middle of a war. You … You have decided to have a child. You wrote a death sentence on yourselves …"
A tear trickled down her cheek. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Lupin, who was probably looking around for Lily. However, he hadn't spotted them yet.
"I truly wish you to found happiness … Good luck Severus," she whispered, before teleporting away.
