Discover Top Posts Tagged with #a relapse

Dexter morgan every so often :

"i want to/wish i could change, i want to be normal"

*relapses on purpose

#yes im using relapse #because thats what it is #a relapse #he has an addiction #to murder #im sick of him #dexter tv #dexter #dexter morgan

my brain when my muscle relaxant starts making out with my pain mgmt drugs:

#my brain isn’t working rn #I posted that Maybe I Should Post Sketches #and then I had a total mental breakdown #a relapse #and a cervicogenic headache that came on like a shotgun blast #so I Forgor #Fox talks #shitpost #disability #chronic pain #disability memes #gonna post those sketches tho #they look good #some of them anyway lol #uhhhhhhhhhhh #yea

#found the letters my mom wrote me from rehab when i was little and OH BOY #they brought up feelings from over a decade ago #the letters go on for months and are all about all the things she missed and one of them has really shaky handwriting clearly during #a relapse #they make me so angry and sad #i didn't know who to tell but i wanted to tell someone so yeah #im telling 2 thousand strangers on the internet #personal #not queen

You know when you see a thing, and you feel the ship rise up in your chest again? Yeah.

#mavin #is it called regression at this point #a relapse #perhaps #rt #rtah

Saturday Soliloquy: A Relapse

I’ve missed two days here on my blog. I always feel really bad when that happens. It would seem I’m having a little relapse of the post-viral fatigue. It hit doubly hard, because I really thought I was past it. I wonder, do any of you have the same thought processes that I do when something hard and heavy takes you by surprise? Why? What have I done to bring this back? How long will it last? Is…

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#A Relapse #contentment is learned #earlier in my life I did worry #fear #fret #is it my fault #missing writing my blog #Paul #Phil. 4:11 #Satan&039;s trap #Saturday Soliloquy #though I was past the fatigue #though processes #thought I had gotten past that #two choices #worry #worry or trust

Anxiety: feeling uncomfortable in your skin.

I get sick. I let thoughts become like a weak spot. Have you ever had anxiety? Well sometimes I’m anxious. I’m anxious that I’m unloveable. I’m anxious that you left me. I’m anxious when we will meet again. I’m anxious like this is the wrong suit, the wrong body, the wrong life, the wrong timeline. The right one is when I’m with you. Yeah I know-that’s some hardcore mumbobumbobullshit that is obviously not logical or helpful. It’s just a feeling I have; a feeling of being uncomfortable in my skin. It’s this itching feeling like I can’t go back. I can only go forward and I’m terrified of it. I’m excited too, with or without you. That’s all part of the ride, when you’re riding human. I have a human love for you. Maybe if it was more, I would know that these bodies and these timelines and space and matter is an illusionary block to our cosmic love. Love is in the heart after all. Or maybe, I am anxious knowing that my body does that very thing, separates us and our cosmic love. Maybe I’m over my head; maybe I’m out of body, talking to you, lingering with spirits, or maybe, all is unfolding here and now in this very body, in this direct experience with the light and with love. Where are you love? I have chills for you. I have chicken skin. I have an ache that makes me shiver, makes me shake, makes me ache, makes me anxious. In stomach, I feel this emptiness for you. I can’t stand it, yet I meditate with it every day and sometimes wonder when it will go away. Of course it does when I direct my energy elsewhere, but when I don’t, it’s there. You’re here. You’re right now, happening, happening and I can’t see you, I can’t witness it, I can’t touch it, it’s just this happening, somewhere in my head, are you even real? Tell me you’re real, love. Tell me you’re not a ghost that haunts me. Tell me you love me. Calm these nerves; warm this tenderness, this infinite tenderness I have for you. Tell me you’re not a fly a wall. I’m tired of talking to the flies in these walls. Where art thou, mr.orginal face?

#sorry was just having a moment today #a relapse #whateva #love #love sickness #literally i get so anxious i shake #breathwork