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i think a big problem with the person u are being different from the person that u want to be is that when ppl love the person u are it's a rejection of who ur trying to b. the stronger the love, the lower the chance that the emotion would carry across if u were fundamentally different. someone choosing you over anyone else means ur even more trapped in an incorrect portrayal of urself. love isolates you because it's a reminder of who you'll never be

#i hope this makes sense #it's not. trying to be a fully coherent post #i jsut needed to get my thoughts out #also. its so. cold i can barely type #it's like #idk. i feel like nobody knows me #but i know people love me #so it's like #who do they rlly love #i feel like my being loved is contingent on deception #a talks #a thinks

how does it feel to be able to make something so beautiful? you’ve got stars at your fingertips, kid.

#a talks #a thinks

i am going to do big things even if it kills me

#i just need to b lucky #I know that greatness isn't all skill of course I do #how arrogant would I b if I thought it was all down to me #but I'm asking to b lucky #to meet the right people to feel the right things #to think in the right way to experience the right information #i want to change the world n im gna keep stumbling thru life until i do #a talks #a thinks

I'm reading a book, "The Righteous Mind", about understanding moral and political differences and there's this quote in it that's mentioned, "We are multiple from the start" n it's weirdly got me tearing up ?? it's by this guy called Shweder and it's about how we have the potential to connect with any opinions, any viewpoints, even if only a few of these potentials get realised in childhood. how there's no true universal morality or moral backstop, no true locking in place of morals in the sense that. what we believe can always change, that we can always expand our thinking, learn empathy for new groups. that we weren't built for just one way of thinking about things. we are multiple from the start. idk

#a talks #I guess this could be seen as bleak #and I know there's a very real and very powerful school of thought that says that #empathy needs an endpoint to be effective #that universal empathy allows those who do Not have it to take it control #the tolerance paradox is an example of this #I don't believe that empathy can save the world #I think u need priorities and u need to stick to ur beliefs #but at the same time #isn't it a beautiful idea that who we are can change #that the battle we fight for the things we believe in isn't doomed to go on forever #that we can see things in a million different ways #idk aha #a thinks #the righteous mind #morality

u romanticise running away to somewhere where no one knows u but u never stop to think abt what's going to happen when u get there. there'll always b somewhere to run from and you'll never b content unless ur leaving. can't ever arrive. spend ur life waiting for little pockets where u feel alive and the times when u don't are killing you. spend ur life waiting for smthn better and it poisons u.

#this post is abt me #a talks #a thinks #like it's okay to rb #but just to clarify like !!! im not tryna call any1out lmao I am #being critical of My behaviour alone

do you think happiness is worth self deception?

#idk im tempted. to say no #think I'd rather b aware of. myself and unhappy #but I'd give others the opposite advice #and be able to back it up #so idk maybe I'm just a hypocrite #a talks #a thinks

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