Okay, guys. I’ve got lots to talk about but what I want you to take away from this, is that I don’t want to stop writing. So before I go into this long update about what’s been going on in my life and how in shambles I truly am, just know that I’m not giving up on life or writing.
I’m just going through a really hard time right now.
We are approaching a busy time at work but there’s so much more to it than that. A few weeks ago, my manager took a week’s vacation and so that left me to do her work as well as my own. Which normally that would be fine. But we had so many other things going on that week that I really wish she hadn’t took that week off but it’s in the past now.
Then, we had a situation with one of our new employees. She lost a cousin to a senseless murder a couple weeks ago and she’s definitely not been the same since. In fact, we’re pretty sure she has gotten COVID while in Florida since the whole murder happened there and that’s where the funeral was.
At this point in time, I don’t have COVID that I’m aware of.
I feel fine and I’m keeping a close eye on any symptoms such as loss of taste and things like that. For now I’m good. Well.....mostly.....
Friday afternoon, I had either a panic or anxiety attack. I’m still not sure which one it was. But it was embarrassing and mortifying because it happened in front of my two coworkers who were still there that day. The one girl is off because she’s probably sick with COVID and the other had a wedding in who knows what state.
My boss was really sweet about the whole thing. He talked me through it and kept reminding me to breathe and just was there for me. He even texted me yesterday and called me Superstar. Sometimes he’s more like a dad than a boss and I’m definitely okay with that. I have the best boss ever.
But long story short, I’m not good, guys.
Work is taking over my life and I don’t know how to NOT do that. We’re always down a person and therefore I’m taking on more work. I can only do so much. I go into work early and I stay late and it still doesn’t seem to be enough to keep my head above water.
This weekend I’ve tried to just relax and get the rest I need because I know this week won’t be much different from last.
But because of all of this, I haven’t had time to write anything that I’ve wanted to. I have so many unfinished pieces and I used to have time to actually think about plots and little scenes here and there but I feel like I don’t even know my own stories anymore. They feel like someone else’s because of how distant I’ve become thanks to work work and more work.
But again, I’m not giving up. I’m going to find a way to make it work. I’m not done writing. I love to write and it’s my pride and joy. I just......don’t have the brain power right now because it’s all being used up for work from where I’m taking on more and more.
On a more positive note, thank you so much for giving my writing all your love! Often did so good and I’m glad that people liked it. It was definitely different for me so I appreciate you guys enjoying it regardless of my ability to write dirty filthy smut. I even saw other fics of mine getting love and that was awesome!
