#a'kata

[kaynetsuki]

Entry 41: Freed

Dear Kaiara,

I will never drink again.

I was drunk when they took me. It makes it hard to fight back. What followed... I never wish to feel that again. The helplessness, the pain, the slow decent into believing every word, every horrible thing. I am a monster. I am nothing. No one cares. No one will come for me. But they did. I was content to freeze in the Vigil but they came, she came. Like the sun, Saphyra burst through the clouds that had enveloped me. Hells, even the Captain came to my aid. I had figured she did not care, that I was simply cannon fodder for her, another brute to point at her enemies. But she was there, barking orders, enforcing caution, she would ensure we all made it home safe.

Then the child. A Xalea boy who was intended to be just like me. His family taken, about to be killed, a repeat of that day 16 years ago. But this time we were there, friends, family. The Captain sent myself and the boy with a few of the party as guard to get to the closest town, to safety, while she took the rest to end this. It was not to be, Chaumont had sent an archer to kill the child in an attempt to further break me down. Saphyra deflected the shot and we went to join the fight.

As expected, the rest of the boys family was there, held at lance point. I will admit, I nearly lost myself. He nearly turned me into the monster he thought me to be. But Saphyra was there, my Sun, my light, and nothing he could do would ever eclipse her. The crew fought and we managed to save the girl. The parents did not make it. Z’ylarix made her own rage felt, full freezing Chaumont in a block of ice, which I then shattered. He was dead, the nightmare was over.

But it isn’t. The bruises remain, I think there’s internal damage but that will heal in time. What will not heal as easily is my mind. The nightmares have returned and not even the calming incense is helping. I am constantly looking over my shoulder, always watching everyone around me. It is as if I am in Corethas again, and every shadow is an enemy trying to kill me. He may yet get what he wanted in the end if I cannot temper this fear. 

Locke is training people in how to wield a gunblade. Apparently it requires some form of metal strength to use one. I think this training may help with the fear, I pray it will. I do not want to become as I once was.

Kayne

[healeremeline]

Journal Entry

26th Sun of the Second Umbral Moon

We buried Aster today. I do not know what else to say. I have not written because our world almost fell out of the sky. We ran out of beds, hallways became infirmaries...and morgues. We lost most of the engineering crew, some support staff. 

We were conscripted into the Limsan fleet again and, well, I can still see the ships fall out of the sky when I close my eyes. I still see the man from the boarding party point his sword at me when he realized I was healing our defense team. I still remember grabbing Maeze and jumping over the planter wall onto the deck below. The fire, the screams and in the end we limped home. The ship was barely airworthy. 

And now a week has gone by and I just returned from the tall grasses overlooking the sea. Burying someone that once told me he loved me. Will this be the first? 

I return my gaze to the current crisis at hand and feel my heart shatter over and over again, knowing what I must become to save what is left of my Heart. Was this how Mafrea’s path began? I cannot help but mirror my mannerisms these days to his. Could Kat actually be right? 

@junakagane @oroete @gunslingermiqo @asterchant 

[healeremeline]

Wandering around for a lead....

Pics @sleepy-mage

[healeremeline]

A fun night out at the Cat’s Paw Spa!!!

@sleepy-mage @gunslingermiqo @theboondogglepub @katalinhunter

[healeremeline]

Journal Entry

1st Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon

The last few days have been odd. Many ups and downs. I am going to start at the beginning. 

There was a bomb threat on the ship. A messenger delivered a note, demanding the release of one of our ‘guests’. 

Catherina took control and we calmly went through everything. Some people went a little doom and gloom, others took the time to learn a bit about the ship and each other. Funny what happens when something we all love is threatened.

The bomb was found, after some creative ritual flour and our mages tracing abnormal aether about.  It was stuffed into a large gourd and smuggled in with a crate of food meant for the galley. 

Myself, Kayne and Rei went to sort out the prisoners and get information from them. I’m sure it is the calmest interrogation to ever take place. 

A new crewmen was hired. Locke. He is a very broken person that needs a hot meal and to know people will not be cruel. He is a deserter from Garlemald and shows the signs of desperation. It will be interesting to see how he adapts. 

And with that, we had a ‘welcome’ event. I managed to arrange for a pier rental as Costa del Sol and Jun volunteered to set up some powerful drinks that I feel, in retrospect, were not fully legal. But everyone made it, stopping by when they could. It was nice to see everyone out of their gear and actually smiling. Catherina gave a lovely little welcome, we hosted some volleyball....where clothing seemed to be optional. So I will never be hosting the game again! And Kat arrived...it was not pleasant, but she left quickly after that. But not quick enough that she did not sour my mood. 

In the end, Lulu and new crewman Asher won the championship! Many were drunk by the time they left. 

Then I accosted a drunken Corsa’ir who danced back into our lives again. He got to hear my opinion and know what happened when he left us, yet again. I just had to wait for most to leave before I felt comfortable enough to give him a piece of my mind. 

He yet again, promises to fix everything...

[healeremeline]

Journal Entry

16th Sun of the First Astral Moon

So the Captain set up another training exercise. This time dressing two of the departments, the Aetherials and Shadows, up like Garleans. We chose a simple gully with high surrounding terrain for the exercise, just out the city. So instead of training dummies or tactics...we were faced with our fellow crew, toting massive long ranger paint guns. Yes...guns that shoot little orbs filled with paint....or threw balloons at us.  These balloons were also filled with paint. 

Suffice to say I ended the event covered in bruises and paint. It was a rough start, but we pulled it together with Snarls and Ashe leading the way. I may have gotten a bit sulky after the third or fourth time my colleagues and friends gunned me down. I believe many, including Mafrea, took delight in my torment. Saphy did an amazing job! I am so excited to see her with the crew more and more. I think she will do well here. Katalin kept me safe and sane...even when a ‘dead person’. I might have drawn on Snarls’ backside as she carried me as I portrayed a fallen ally. Arik stood there with a clipboard, grading us on our performance. 

Today I am feeling much better and I will get my vengeance somehow.

In other avenues, I am having a nice time getting to know Jun. We have had tea, talked a bit. We are planning some friend outings.  I have also taken on Cosa’ir as a student in attempts to show him the roots of Conjury. I have not had the best luck with students. I hope he and Kai work out. 

But there is still this lingering emptiness that will not depart. In the quiet moments, I am left to my own thoughts and I do not like them. It is worst late at night. Falling asleep alone in my dark quarters has started to wear on me. 

I just need to throw myself into something and leave things behind me. There has been no word, no hope. And I feel like a fool every time I think about those things. 

@gunslingermiqo  @sleepy-mage @theboondogglepub @oroete @saphyra-tsuki @ashebraum @snarlingcoeurl @katalinhunter

[kaynetsuki]

Entry 32: Divide

Dear Kaiara,

A lot has happened since I last wrote you. The book I got lead us to a Sharlayan building that had more information. A few of the other leads also ended up helping. Z’ylarix found a group that had some form of information, but something must have gone wrong because a few days ago the captain ordered a strike team to attack that same group. I did not go with them. I learnt later that the orders were to kill everyone. No survivors, no witnesses. I still do not know what these people did to invoke such anger. I only know that what resulted nearly tore the crew apart.

When the fighting was over, the healers wanted to go see if everyone was ok. I opted to follow and act as a sort of escort should everything not be as calm as it seemed. The scene we walked in on... Arik had a child in his arms, a young boy who looked to be around 10 years of age. Z’ylarix had a dagger pointed to Arik and A’kata was yelling for him to drop the child. It didn’t take long to find that A’kata intended to kill this boy and that Z’ylarix and Aifread where backing her up. Arik and Rosette wanted to save him and it remained to be seen where everyone else stood. One look around the area and things began to seem far to familiar for my liking. A family dead, a child left orphaned, the monsters responsible. I could not abide this. I placed my lance between Z’ylarix and Arik and I told her to stop. Emeline tried to get everyone to clam down but A’kata ordered her and A’kaia off. I don’t think she took to kindly to that, I was only focused on making sure Z’ylarix didn’t get the chance to strike. No one wanted to be the first to strike, but I believe had it be anyone but Z’ylarix there, I would not have held back as I did. Eventually A’kata seemed to see reason and told everyone to stand down, placing the boy in Ashe’s care.

I do not know what the boys fate will be, but I trust Ashe to keep him safe. She seems like good person and I don’t think she’d be ok with killing him. I don’t think I slept that night. I was just so angry, so saddened. I know how that boy must feel. I’ve felt it as well. I want to talk to him, to help him. He must be so lost, so afraid and angry and... and... I pray that he is stronger than I was. That he has more than a want for revenge to keep him going. I also pray that Ashe keeps a close eye on him. No others need to become as I am, bad enough that he had to go though the same.

Kayne

[healeremeline]

Journal Entry

8th Sun of the First Astral Moon

I finally have remembered to make a note of the Medical meetings hosted in the bay last week. The gathering of extremely talented medics and healers consisted of Jun, A’kaia, and Katalin. Snarls, our Head of Security, was on hand to listen in on our protocol.

It was a good gathering. We discussed the coming changes on the ship, new protocols and how we as medics can work is helping the ship find success. Jun even is researching an interesting way to expand the use of ‘Ki’ in healing.  We will be meeting to work on better understanding anatomy later this week. 

Then to end the week was the Vanguard meeting. A new title for those on the ship that serve more marshal work. Though Lucien was to step into the role of First Sword, it never happened and was the announcement of his leaving. The Captian instead took his place with Arik, Snarls, and Aifread at her side. They spoke of their wishes to unite the crew, find purpose and learn to work better together. 

It is a future I look forward to. 

Then the beginning of the week began with practice drills to train for the mission at hand. It was interesting and a little exciting to watch our people work with such precision. 

@katalinhunter @sleepy-mage @gunslingermiqo @snarlingcoeurl