2025 carat revival : dynamics week 'this road is beautiful, because I have you walking beside me' no one loves seventeen more than seventeen loves each other🤍
#phm#ryland grace#rocky the eridian#project hail mary spoilers




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2025 carat revival : dynamics week 'this road is beautiful, because I have you walking beside me' no one loves seventeen more than seventeen loves each other🤍
SEVENTEEN FANFICTION RECOMMENDATIONS PT 2 ──୨ৎ──
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ five stars given to all of these →
between you and me - dino x reader (@haologram) | best friends to exes to lovers, holiday au, angst, fluff, smut
as seen on screen (series) - wonwoo x reader (@imnotshua) | f1 driver wonwoo, coworkers, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, smut
the thirteenth hour - wonwoo x reader (@memoiresofaneternaldreamer) | historical au, librarian reader, fated lovers, immortality and reincarnation, angst, smut
too nice - joshua x reader (@mochacoda) | coworkers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, fluff
in the zone - hoshi x reader (@100vern) | strangers to lovers, roommates, fluff, slight angst, smut
keeping score - mingyu x reader (@studioeisa) | soccer player mingyu, university au, frenemies to lovers, light angst, fluff
burning bridges - dk x reader (@bluehoodiewoozi) | f1 driver dk, features toxic ex scoups, fluff, angst
company benefits - jun x reader (@studioeisa) | marketing intern jun x copywriter reader, ex-situationship, forced proximity, fluff, slight angst, smut
breaking the reins - mingyu x reader (@memoiresofaneternaldreamer) | rancher mingyu, cowboy au, jealousy, angst, smut - check TWs!
agrodolce - seungkwan x reader (@amourcheol) | dessert chef seungkwan x dessert chef reader, rivals to lovers, fluff
please - scoups x reader (@sailorsoons) | alpha scoups x omega reader, omegaverse, coworkers to lovers, fluff, smut
stargirl - hoshi x reader (@makeitworse) | camgirl reader, college au, fb to lovers, angst, smut
let's take the long way home - woozi x reader (@haologram) | exes to ?, fluff, angst
part 1...
currently listening to... ash - seventeen ♫⋆。♪ ゚.
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🏁 Race: Overtake by @sailorsoons
🏎️ Driver: Choi Seungcheol x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Seungcheol and your brother Joshua battle over everything - pole positions, championships, the title of Mercedes’ best driver. The one thing they were never supposed to fight over was you.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: all for one by @amourcheol
🏎️ Driver: Choi Seungcheol x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: three-time world champion choi seungcheol races for greatness—even if it sacrifices red bull's constructor trophy. you, principal strategy engineer, cannot allow favouring the self-centred driver over the entire team. when a new red bull rookie threatens his position and certain rivals begin to tempt you, seungcheol must consider winning you over—a feat more difficult than a fourth championship.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Off The Record by @soo0hee
🏎️ Driver: Yoon Jeonghan x reader
🛞 Race Stats: 3 seasons with sky sports. 3 seasons of navigating between drivers, the fia and stubborn team principals. 3 seasons and non had taken your breath the way 2025 had thus far. The reason? Yoon Jeonghan. Ferarris posterboy and the man haunting your gridwalks.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Revving for Love by @nerdycheol
🏎️ Driver: Yoon Jeonghan x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: You didn’t expect the guy you swiped left on at the airport to show up at your new job — let alone be one of Formula 1’s top drivers. As the team’s new physiotherapist, you’re here to keep things professional — no distractions, especially not Jeonghan. Charming, smug, and all too aware you once swiped left on him. What starts as cooldowns and awkward stretches quickly turns into something messier. Jeonghan is flirty, unpredictable, and far too in sync with you — and despite your best efforts, he’s getting under your skin. And without you even noticing… the lines start to blur.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Birdie by @aeristudios
🏎️ Driver: Joshua Hong x reader
🛞 Race Stats: It would be fate that you would be filming a documentary of the same F1 team as your former high school sweetheart: Joshua Hong, F1 golden boy. He still remembers you as Birdie— the one that flew away without saying goodbye. Now, years later, you have to look him in the eye as he recounts what his life has been like without you.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: build this dream together by @joshujin
🏎️ Driver: Joshua Hong x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: As his race engineer, you’ve spent five amazing years guiding McLaren superstar, Joshua Hong, to victory after victory. But in that fifth year, you learn something horrifying about yourself: you’ve fallen in love with your driver. You’re not willing to let your heart get in the way of everything you’ve worked for, so you do the one thing you know is guaranteed to keep both of your careers safe: you leave. Two years later, Joshua inadvertently comes crashing back into your life with an announcement that rocks the F1 world. Before you know it, you’re on his doorstep with an offer you know he won’t be able to refuse, ready to guide him back to where he needs to be—one last time.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: burn for the win by @mylovesstuffs
🏎️ Driver: Wen Junhui x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: being the engineer who knows too much and the sister who’s had enough means standing at the eye of the storm while two men she cares about tear each other apart. jun’s pride could still cost him everything, and yet he refuses to fight to fix what’s broken; neither will minghao. she’s tired of the fallout, but no one listens. a crash was only the beginning. now, can anything bring them back?
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: open channel by @sknyuz
🏎️ Driver: Wen Junhui x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: open channel follows you: a young radio engineer who joins the haas f1 team as the apprentice to laura müller, the first female engineer in the paddock, now the chief engineer who has you under her wing—and as the unexpected successor to your own father, the long-time race engineer of haas’s most elusive driver: wen junhui. junhui is cold to the media, clinical on the grid, and famously unreadable behind the visor. but when your voice cuts through the static, clear and steady, even he can’t help but lean in—though neither of you knows yet how deeply your pasts are tangled in the echoes of a long-ago memory on the track.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: as seen on screen by @imnotshua
🏎️ Driver: Jeon Wonwoo x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Wonwoo doesn’t pay you any attention, not since you were both rookies - him on the track and you in the paddock. You’ve been at Ferrari for years, and now he’s joined the team you’re supposed to be working together, but it seems he still has that same stick up his ass whenever you have something to say.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: behind the lens by @wheeboo
🏎️ Driver: Jeon Wonwoo x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Years ago, you and Jeon Wonwoo were inseparable. First loves, reckless hearts, and dreams too big to share—until it all fell apart. He chased after podiums; you stayed behind your lens. Five years later, you’re commissioned in the paddock as a global motorsport photographer for a behind-the-scenes shoot, and he’s back in the centre of your frame as F1’s quiet, unstoppable force. And for the first time in a long time, your photographs begin to feel real again. This time, will your frame capture an ending, or a second chance?
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: playing with fire by @starlightkyeom
🏎️ Driver: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: soonyoung doesn't do relationships. or strings. or repeats all that often, honestly. he's one of the best drivers on the circuit and he doesn't need to. the one exception? you, his biggest rival's on-and-off partner. he's always your first call when your relationship is splashed across the headlines again and he never seems to care.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: heartbreak champion by @straylightdream
🏎️ Driver: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: After being together since you were fifteen, things hit a rough patch as your husband chases his goal of being world champion.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Under Investigation by @diamonddaze01
🏎️ Driver: Lee Jihoon x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Lee Jihoon doesn’t break the rules. He bends them. Just enough to get away with it. Just enough to make your job harder, just enough to see if you’ll flinch. He’s testing the boundaries. And the worst part? You kind of want to see what happens if he crosses them.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: heartbreaker by @sailorsoons
🏎️ Driver: Lee Jihoon x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Jihoon is suffering through a heartbreaker of a season with Ferrari. The car won’t cooperate, his teammate keeps outpacing him, and nothing seems to go right. Worst of all is what’s happening off the track. It seems racing is slipping through his fingers - and so are you.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Burning Bridges by @bluehoodiewoozi
🏎️ Driver: Lee Seokmin x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: When your fiancé chooses his Formula 1 career over you and makes it everyone’s problem, his teammate Seokmin is not about to just sit back and watch.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: red wine nights by @hannieoftheyear
🏎️ Driver: Lee Seokmin x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: what's the worst time to hook up with your best friend and change your relationship forever? probably the night before he gets on a plane and flies far away to become a world famous star.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Rumour by @gyuswhore
🏎️ Driver: Kim Mingyu x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: It’s hard to dislike Mingyu, an acknowledgement he risks his modesty for. So when he approaches you with rose tinted glasses, clad in the team kit of his dreams, he’s ready to build a rapport of a lifetime with his brand new race engineer. Until, the brakes screech loud enough for the entire paddock to hear. It’s hard to dislike Mingyu, but you make it look easy.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: perfect strangers by @studioeisa
🏎️ Driver: Kim Mingyu x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: for the first time in seven years, kim mingyu thinks he might actually have a shot at standing on the podium. he has a decent car, a good teammate, and... a girlfriend? after f1 tv erroneously tags a complete stranger as his 'partner', mingyu now has to reckon with being one half of the newest couple on the grid.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: one track mind by @haologram
🏎️ Driver: Xu Minghao x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: after years in the spotlight, you've learned one thing: how to get used to new environments, good and bad. despite the time and the friends you've made along the way, things never really change — and that includes the mentality that winning is the only option.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: victory lap by @minisugakoobies
🏎️ Driver: Xu Minghao x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: minghao's just led his team to another championship - so why can't he enjoy it? he's jaded, having grown disillusioned with his life, and in desperate need of the familiar spark that’s driven him all these years. lucky for him, a chance encounter with the enemy of his rival will set his ignition ablaze with one wild ride.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: bae-watching by @shinysobi
🏎️ Driver: Boo Seungkwan x reader
🛞 Race Stats: boo seungkwan is over it, really. he's been on the sports circuit for years, but covering any f1 championship gets harder every time. on top of that, he's supposed to get a "fresh angle" on a game that has none-until he's staring down the barrel of history, when she appears right beside the ferrari chief engineer. he's looking at you, but you have stopped looking at him a decade ago.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: along the rubble or the dust by @heartepub
🏎️ Driver: Boo Seungkwan x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: in the high-octane world of formula one, boo seungkwan has clawed his way up with a mix of charm, grit, skill, and pure luck. he knows, more than anyone else, how coincidence can be a turning point. when, in an improbable series of events, his childhood friend starts lurking in the paddock as his new performance engineer, he gets the distinct feeling that this is about to be one of them. even if (or especially because) he’d rather trust you with his life than with his heart.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: Podium Pleasers by @shadowkoo
🏎️ Driver: Chwe Hansol x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: F1 driver Vernon is no stranger to stunning women whispering wicked things in his ear during race season, but no voice has stopped his heart quite like yours. The ‘missing’ younger sister of one of his oldest friends. The girl who disappeared two years ago without a word. And now, you’re on his lap with your bare breasts pressed against his chest. He’s horrified to learn that you’re working at an exclusive strip club, tangled in a complicated contract where sex appeal is currency, personal relationships are forbidden, and your freedom is nothing but a twisted illusion. He wants you out, but walking away from a fantasy life built on status and money isn’t that simple. So, in a last-ditch effort, he offers you something else. Something real. A fresh start on the circuit as his assistant, where you can rebuild your future, possibly even a future by his side.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: slow and steady by @haoboutyou
🏎️ Driver: Chwe Hansol x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Aston Martin— once a top class, championship winning team, has become riddled with bad press. What better way to cover it up than throwing your driver under the bus? In a not-so elaborate scheme, Vernon and rising star Y/n are entrapped in a dating scandal to cover up the company’s ass, subjecting them to the wrath of public scrutiny instead. Will the awkward dates and busy schedules make way for something more? Or will they let their relationship be dictated by greedy corporations?
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: This Town by @wqnwoos
🏎️ Driver: Lee Chan x reader
🛞 Race Stats: Ten years ago, Lee Chan left your hometown without ever looking back. Now, after a crash that loses him the championship, he’s back and asking for your forgiveness — but you’re not sure if you’re ready to risk your best friend leaving you again.
🏁 Paddock Pass
🏁 Race: The Boundary Concept by @kkooongie
🏎️ Driver: Lee Chan x f!reader
🛞 Race Stats: Lee Chan didn't know which was worse: the fact that he still liked you since high school (despite shutting down completely whenever you were around) or the fact that you wanted to meet up with him... for a research paper. But hey, he was willing to take any crumbs as long as he got an opportunity to make you realise he was a super cool racer now. That is, assuming he didn't crash under the intense pressure. Or, in which, you never knew writing a paper on the boundary concept would make you question the boundaries between you and Chan.
Practice Session 🏁 Paddock Pas
Seventeen's Reaction - You walking out during the fight + making up
Note from author: Do NOT BUrn the witch, I know I have been gone for a little minute, but like hectic, I got a cold and had a major writer's block. HOWEVER, I did have this standing in my drafts for a hot minute. I tried to do a different writing style with this one, so lmk what we think.🫶🏻🫶🏻
Summary: ot'13 fighting with their partner + making up ( this was a prompt that I had seen ages ago, so the main idea is repetitive across all scenarios, but with small changes on how I think they would personally react)
Warnings: harsh vocabulary, jealousy???
1️⃣ S.Coups: The fight had been brewing for days.
Seungcheol noticed everything, the way your shoulders sat a little lower each evening, the meals you “forgot,” the tired smile you wore like a polite mask. He tried to give you room. He told himself you just needed a few nights to push through the workload.
Tonight, the quiet snapped.
He came out of the bedroom towelling his hair, catching sight of you leaning on the counter, steam curling from a cup of instant ramen.
“Are you seriously eating ramen again?” His voice cut through the small kitchen, not loud but edged.
You didn’t look up. “It’s quick.” You tore the lid back. “I don’t have the energy to cook, Cheol.”
He dragged a hand through damp hair. “That’s the problem. You don’t have the energy for anything because you’re not eating or sleeping.”
You kept your eyes on the packet, sprinkling seasoning like it could shield you. “Can we not do this? It’s just a busy stretch.”
“Busy?” He let out a humourless laugh that sounded like a wince. “You come over and I watch you fade while your emails keep lighting up. I ask if you heard me, and you say ‘yeah’ when you clearly didn’t. You were swaying on your feet last night.”
You flinched. “I was fine.”
“No, you weren’t.” His tone softened, pleading now. “You could’ve asked me to make something. Or told me you needed help.”
“And what?” You finally looked at him. “You’d what…babysit me? Track my meals? You’re not my father, Cheol. Stop acting like one.”
Silence landed heavily. He blinked, the fight draining out of his face all at once, hurt blooming in its place.
“So that’s how you see me?” he asked, quieter. “Controlling?”
You opened your mouth, then closed it. The truth sat tangled behind your ribs. You weren’t sure what to call the way he hovered when you were running on fumes, love or pressure or both. Pride lifted your chin. You looked away.
He swallowed, voice rough. “I’m…Look, if worrying makes you feel caged, then fine. I’ll stop. Clearly it’s not worth it.”
The words sliced through the room, cold and exact. He didn’t shout, he didn’t need to.
You set the little silver seasoning packet down like it burned. The air felt tight. His apartment felt too small, too neat, your reflection too stark in the dark window over the sink. You snagged your coat from the chair.
“Where are you going?” he asked, softer, already regretting it.
“Home,” you said without looking at him. “I need air.”
“Y/N…”
You were already at the door. You didn’t slam it. That somehow made it worse.
He stood very still in the kitchen, listening to the hallway swallow your footsteps. The ramen sat cooling, untouched.
He cleaned up the counter because it gave his hands something to do. He typed out three different texts and deleted all of them. He went to bed with the light on.
You walked until your cheeks stung from the wind. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
Days stretched, long and quiet. Neither of you reached out.
You told yourself it was for the best, give him space, clear your head, keep your focus. You made coffee that tasted like nothing and forgot it on your desk. You drafted a message twice, “I’m sorry for what I said” and “Can we talk?”, then stared at the blinking cursor until the screen timed out. You shut your laptop and told yourself to be strong.
He lasted one day before he started checking your socials for signs you were eating, sleeping, anything. He picked up your scarf from the back of his chair and put it back, twice. He opened your shared notes app where you’d listed recipes you wanted to try and scrolled through it like it could count as cooking for you. He went to the gym and left after ten minutes.
Stubbornness was a language you both spoke. So was missing each other.
Snow arrived on the fourth night, thick flakes that made the city softer, quieter. You stayed late to close out a deadline, then walked home through the park because the path felt less crowded than the streets.
The crunch of your boots was the only sound. “Y/N.”
You stopped so fast that your bag slipped off your shoulder. You’d know that voice anywhere.
He was a few feet away, a dark coat powdered white, beanie pulled low, cheeks pink from the cold. He had that careful way of standing he used around you when he wasn’t sure how close to come.
“You walk too fast when you’re mad,” he said, breath fogging. “I almost lost you.”
Your throat tightened. “Why are you here?”
He took a small step closer, hands in his pockets like he was holding himself steady. “Because I can’t do this. The not-talking. The pretending we’re not… us.”
“Cheol…”
“I was wrong.” The words tumbled out awkward and true. “I shouldn’t have said I’d stop caring. That was me being defensive and stupid. I don’t know how to love you without worrying. That’s just… who I am. I’d rather be annoying than watch you burn out and do nothing.”
You stared at him, the snow catching on his lashes, dissolving into tiny beads. The sincerity in his voice made something in you loosen.
He swallowed, trying again. “I know I pushed. I know it can feel like I’m hovering. And you’re right, I’m not your father. I don’t want to be. I want to be your partner. Which means I have to ask, not dictate.” He exhaled, a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”
A laugh rose in your chest and broke into a sniffle. “You practiced that, didn’t you?”
“In the mirror.” His mouth twitched. “Twice.”
You looked down at your boots. “I was rude. I said the one thing that would hurt. I hate being taken care of because it makes me feel weak. I grew up handling things alone and… it’s hard to let that go.” You lifted your eyes to his. “But I don’t want to do this alone. Not with you.”
He nodded like he’d been waiting to hear that exact sentence. “So we try again. Different.”
“Different,” you echoed. Your fingers were numb, you blew on them. “No more drive-by lectures when I’m holding a cup of ramen.”
“Counter-offer.” His tone went gentle. “If I’m worried, I ask, ‘How can I help?’ And if you need to be left alone, you say so. Clear and simple.”
“And I actually tell you things before I crash.” You shrugged. “Like, ‘This week is brutal, please feed me, I’ll do the dishes.’”
His smile bloomed, soft and relieved. “Deal.”
He reached out like he was approaching a skittish cat, fingertips brushing yours first, waiting, letting you decide. You curled your hand into his, relief spreading like heat.
“Hands are freezing,” he murmured, bringing your joined fingers up to his mouth to blow warm air over your knuckles. The intimacy of it stole your breath.
“You’re dramatic,” you said, voice unsteady.
“I’m in love,” he said simply. “It looks similar.”
He kissed you, cold lips, careful pressure, an apology and a promise in one breath. The pride you’d been clinging to dissolved like snowflakes on skin.
When he pulled back, his voice was hoarse. “I missed you so damn much.”
Your laugh broke, wet around the edges. “I missed you too, idiot.”
He pressed a lingering kiss to your temple. “Come home with me?”
You hesitated, reflexively, then nodded. “Only if we stop for something that isn’t instant noodles.”
He brightened. “There’s a 24-hour place two blocks over. I will personally carry you there and feed you dumplings.”
“Overkill,” you said, but you didn’t let go of his hand.
You started walking, slowly so the ice wouldn’t trip you. He matched your pace without comment. Your shoulder bumped his, he bumped back gently.
After a minute, he glanced down. “Quick logistics meeting?”
You snorted. “Right now?”
“Just a preview.” He smiled when you rolled your eyes. “How about this, on heavy weeks, you text me your schedule on Sunday. I plan dinners on the days you’re slammed. If you need space, say ‘pause.’ If I start lecturing, you’re allowed to say ‘off-duty.’ No feelings hurt.”
You considered. “And if I say ‘I’m fine,’ you get one follow-up question. One,” you stressed.
“Negotiated. I’ll spend it wisely.”
You nudged him with your elbow. “You never spend anything wisely.”
“Except this,” he said, lifting your joined hands and lacing your fingers tighter.
At the corner, you paused under a streetlight that made the snow glow. He reached up to flick a flake from your lashes, his touch light as breath.
“Hey,” you said, more serious again. “Thank you for coming to find me.”
He shrugged, that little shy tilt of his mouth you loved. “I know the routes you take when you want to think. And I don’t want to be brave about missing you.”
You swallowed. “Me either.”
“Good.” He squeezed your hand. “Then let’s go eat something warm and stupidly salty and talk about everything we didn’t say this week.”
“And then,” you said, “we sleep. A full eight hours. Minimum.”
“Bossy,” he teased.
“Partner,” you corrected.
His grin reached his eyes. “Partner,” he echoed, and the word fit, simple and right.
You didn’t need to be saved. You needed to be met. And he was here. 2️⃣ Jeonghan: Fights with Jeonghan were rare. Most evenings, your bickering fizzled into laughter and a kiss on the cheek over takeout. But tonight, your fuse was already short. Work had wrung you dry.
You tossed your bag onto the chair and pulled your hair up with a sigh. “I swear, if my boss asks me to ‘circle back’ one more time, I’m going to combust. I’m rewriting decks, fixing everyone’s mistakes, and somehow I’m the one who ‘needs to be more proactive.’”
Jeonghan looked up from the couch, legs tucked beneath a blanket, a soft grin playing at his mouth. “Babe, breathe. You’re home. Want tea?”
You waved him off, pacing. “He scheduled a 7 a.m. meeting and then showed up thirty minutes late. And when I presented the revised plan, his plan, he said we’d ‘take it under consideration.’”
He leaned back, head tipping against the cushion. “Maybe you’re just being a little dramatic.”
The word froze the room.
You stopped pacing. “Dramatic?”
He blinked, slow, as if he could catch the word and shove it back in his mouth. “I didn’t mean…I just meant sometimes you spiral and…”
“So now I’m overreacting?” Your voice came out tighter than you expected.
“Hey,” he said softly, hands up. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just trying to…”
“To what? Make a joke?” Your laugh cracked, brittle. “Right. Because that’s what you do. You joke. And I’m… what? Entertainment?”
The grin vanished from his lips like you’d blown out a candle. “That’s not fair.”
“No,” you said, heat rising under your skin, “what’s not fair is you brushing me off when I’m telling you I feel invisible.”
His jaw flexed. “I don’t brush you off.”
“You just did.”
He sat forward, elbows on his knees, voice sharper. “If that’s really what you think of me, maybe you don’t know me at all.”
It landed like a slam of a door.
Silence ballooned. Your chest felt too small for your ribs. You grabbed your coat from the hook and shoved your arms through, fingers fumbling over the zipper.
“Where are you going?” Jeonghan asked, already standing.
“Out,” you said. “To not be here.”
“Hey, it’s snowing,” he called, following you to the door. “At least take…”
But the door had already clicked behind you.
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
The city was hushed under fresh snow, the kind that swallowed the sound of tires and dimmed the glow of storefronts. You tugged your scarf up over your mouth and walked. Your anger flickered, then flared, then slowly ran out of places to go, leaving you with a dull ache you recognized as hurt.
He didn’t mean it like that, you told yourself. But he said it. And he always jokes.
By the time you circled back toward your building, your fingers were numb and your lashes had caught a dusting of flakes.
Something thumped your shoulder.
You spun, snow falling from your scarf. “Yah!”
Jeonghan stood under the imposing tree near your entrance, hair dotted white, scarf loose around his neck, a lopsided snowball crumbling in his glove. He tried a smile, small, hopeful. “This is how you talk to me now?”
“Don’t,” you said, but your voice came out softer than you intended. “I’m not in the mood.”
“I know.” He took a step closer, then stopped, gauging your face. “I messed up.”
You folded your arms, half for warmth, half to keep them from reaching for him. “You think?”
“I joke too much,” he went on, eyes flicking to yours and not away. “It’s a reflex. It’s how I deal. But you weren’t asking me to deal. You were asking me to listen.”
A slow breath left you, fogging the air. “Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re serious about anything. About me.”
He winced, and his breath hitched in the cold. “I hate that you feel that way. I said ‘dramatic.’ That was… crappy. I’m sorry.”
You stared at him, at the earnest slope of his mouth, at the sting of his honesty. “It’s not just the word,” you said, quieter. “It’s the pattern. I tell you I’m drowning, and you toss me a joke like a floaty. I need you to get in the water.”
He nodded, quick. “Okay. Then I will. Tell me how. Do you want me to listen and say nothing? Do you want me to hold you and be quiet? Do you want advice? You can choose.” His gloved hand lifted, hovered, then fell. “I should’ve asked before. ‘Do you want comfort, solutions, or jokes?’ I should’ve asked.”
A reluctant laugh bubbled up. “You made that a multiple choice?”
“Baby steps.” His mouth curved, tentative. “I’m not going to be perfect at this, but I’m going to be deliberate.”
Snow sifted between you, gentle and relentless. He took another step, and another, until he was close enough that the warmth of him reached you.
“I care,” he said. “I care so much it scares me, and sometimes I make everything lighter because a heavy thing feels like it could break if I look at it too long. But I will look. At you. At what hurts. At what’s unfair at your job. At the way your shoulders tense when you talk about that meeting. I see it. I see you.”
Your throat tightened. “I don’t want to be a problem you have to fix.”
“You’re not a problem.” His voice grew fierce in that soft, Jeonghan way. “You’re my person. I want to be the place you come to fall apart. I’ll put the pieces with you, not laugh while you scatter.”
He reached for your hand. His glove was cold and clumsy, he tugged it off with his teeth and slid his bare fingers between yours. They were freezing, but the intent was warm.
“Look at me,” he said.
You did. Snow clung to his lashes like glitter. His eyes were clear and steady.
“You’re not a joke to me,” he said. “Not now, not ever.”
A small, stubborn part of you held back. “Say it again tomorrow,” you murmured. “And next week. And the next time I’m spiraling.”
“I will.” A hint of mischief sparked, soft, contained. “And I’ll bring tea that time. No snowballs. Or, at least, I’ll ask permission before deploying.”
“Jeonghan,” you warned, but your mouth twitched.
“Sorry,” he whispered, contrite and playful in the same breath. He dipped his head, tugged your scarf down gently, and kissed you. Not his usual teasing brush of lips, not a smile pressed against yours, but something steady and careful. A question and an answer all at once.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead to yours, a small shiver running through him. “I missed you,” he whispered. “I know it was only a few hours, but it felt… loud without you.”
“Loud?” you echoed, a smile cracking open.
“In here.” He tapped his chest. “Too much echo.”
Your eyes stung. “You could’ve texted.”
“I did,” he admitted, sheepish. “And then I stood under your tree because I’m dramatic.”
The word, gentle now, loosened something in you. “You’re dramatic.”
“Only about you.” He squeezed your hand. “I’ll make it right. I’ll listen tonight. I want to hear the whole thing, start to end, the 7 a.m. meeting, the late boss, the stolen credit, the ‘take it under consideration’, which, by the way, is a war crime.”
“An office war crime,” you sniffed, laughing.
“Punishable by me buying you dinner,” he said promptly. “And by me asking, before we even go upstairs, what do you need from me right now? Comfort, solutions, or jokes?”
You pretended to consider. “Comfort first. Advice later. Jokes… we’ll see.”
“Order received.” He lifted your joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, breath warm against your chilled skin. “Can I walk you in?”
You nodded. 3️⃣ Joshua: The first time you and Joshua fought, the room didn’t erupt. It quieted. It was the kind of silence that pressed on the chest, a stillness that made every small sound too loud.
Dinner was almost finished. The lamp over the table hummed softly, casting a warm circle of light. He was telling you about rehearsal, about a new arrangement he was excited to try, and you were half there, thumb dragging across your phone, answering a text you convinced yourself couldn’t wait.
“Do you even want to be here right now?” His voice didn’t rise. It slipped under your guard, soft and direct.
Your head snapped up. “What?”
His eyes flicked to your phone, then back to your face. “I’ve been talking for ten minutes and you haven’t looked at me once.” He set his fork down with careful precision, the way he did everything. “Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one trying.”
Guilt pricked, quick and hot. Defensiveness sprinted in right after. “Josh, I’m just tired. Can we not do this right now?”
He breathed in through his nose. “That’s the thing, though. ‘Right now’ is the only time I have with you today.”
Your jaw tightened. “Why are you making this a big deal?”
“Because it is a big deal.” His tone stayed even, but the hurt bled through. “I don’t need grand gestures. I just… I need to feel like I matter when we’re in the same room.”
Your chest squeezed. “That’s not fair. Just because I don’t show it the way you do, doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
He looked down at his hands, thumbs rubbing over his knuckles. “Maybe I just need more than what you’re giving.”
The sentence landed like a dropped plate, no crash, just the shock of it. You stared at him, words blurring at the edges. The room went still, even the humming lamp sounded distant.
You pushed your chair back. “Maybe I should go before we say something worse.”
He flinched, so small you almost missed it, but he didn’t stop you. You waited a half second longer than you meant to, hoping he’d reach for you, say anything that would make staying easier. He didn’t. So you left. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
Two days stretched wide and thin.
You woke to the hollow shape of him not being around. The mug he liked sat upside down to dry, a little circle of water underneath it because he always forgot to shake it out. You scrolled past his name in your phone more times than you’d admit, thumb hovering over the call button, typing and deleting a dozen versions of “Can we talk?” and “I’m sorry.”
At work, you caught yourself telling a joke to the air because you’d thought of how he’d laugh at it. A song on the radio made your stomach swoop and then drop. That night you ate toast over the sink and stared at the dark screen of your TV like it owed you an answer. Joshua’s absence was loud in your small apartment, loud in a way the fight hadn’t been.
On the second evening, snow began its careful fall, the kind that coats the city in muffled white and makes everything look gentler than it feels. You were wrapped in a blanket you didn’t need, staring at the door like you could will it to knock.
When it finally did, the sound startled you so much you almost thought you were sleeping.
You opened the door and there he was, coat buttoned to his throat, scarf crooked, nose pink from the cold, snow melted into his hair in damp curls. He held a paper bag like a shield and a peace offering.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi,” you echoed, breath fogging the doorway.
He glanced at the hallway, then back to you. “I didn’t know how else to say this, so I thought I should just… say it. The only way I know how.”
You stepped aside. “Come in.”
He took off his shoes carefully, of course he did, and set the bag on your counter. “I brought that lentil soup you like. And those sesame crackers you pretend aren’t your favorite.” A tiny smile flickered and died. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve been rehearsing this in my head, and it all sounded better there.”
“Try me anyway,” you said, a little hoarse. You sat on the edge of the couch, he stayed standing for a beat, then sat across from you, knees almost touching.
“I’m sorry,” he started, words measured like he was balancing them in his palms. “I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t enough. That isn’t true. You are. I just… missed you. Even when you were right there.” He swallowed. “It scared me to feel alone next to you.”
The honesty made your eyes sting. You closed the space between you, sliding beside him. Your hand found his cheek, cold from the walk, your thumb brushing the edge of his jaw. “I’m sorry too. I was there, but not really. I do that when I’m overwhelmed, go quiet and small inside my head. It’s not about you, but I know it feels like it is.”
He leaned into your hand, lashes lowering. “I don’t want to keep score of who looks up first or who reaches out. I just want to know that if I say ‘I need you right now,’ you’ll hear me.”
“I will,” you said, meaning it. “And if I need twenty minutes to land before I can be present, I’ll say that out loud instead of disappearing into my phone.”
He exhaled, a small sound of relief. “Okay. That helps. I think I test people without meaning to. I waited for you to notice I was upset instead of telling you.”
“And I waited for you to tell me, because I was afraid of making it worse,” you admitted. “Which is ridiculous, because look at us. We already missed each other for two days we didn’t have to lose.”
A crooked smile tugged at his mouth. “I hate those days.”
“Me too.” You nudged his knee with yours.
His eyes warmed. He pressed his forehead to yours, breath mixing with yours, and then his lips found you, soft, careful, the kind of kiss that felt like an answer. It tasted like snow and lentil and the quiet promise to try again.
When he pulled back, he stayed close, his voice dropping to a whisper that brushed your mouth. “I’ll never doubt us again.”
You searched his face. “We’ll have moments,” you said gently. “But let’s promise to ask instead of assume.”
“Then I’ll never stop asking,” he murmured, smiling into the words.
You tucked yourself against his shoulder, the shape you knew by heart. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”
He kissed your hairline. “Me neither.” 4️⃣ Jun: Jun wasn’t the type to push. He was patient, careful with his words, in arguments he often let silence do the talking, even when it meant swallowing what he really felt. Maybe that’s why it hit harder when he finally said something.
It started with another last-minute change. He’d been waiting outside your office, hands tucked into his coat pockets, watching for you through the glass. The lobby light caught in his hair. Then your message lit up his phone, ‘Can’t tonight. Too tired’. He glanced up at the same moment you stepped out, the screen’s glow fading against the tired apology you didn’t quite have energy to deliver in person.
By the time you made it home, he was already there, seated on your couch like he’d been trying to become small enough not to be a problem.
“You should’ve told me earlier,” he said, not looking up at first.
You set your bag down and toed off your shoes. “I did text you.”
“That’s not what I mean.” His gaze lifted, steady and too honest. “You’ve canceled three times this week. Do you even want to see me?”
The softness of it made the words land heavier. You flinched. “Of course I do. That’s… come on, Jun. Don’t make it sound like I don’t care.”
“I’m not trying to make it sound like anything.” He exhaled through his nose, a small, shaky breath, as if he’d practiced not letting it show. “It just feels like I’m the only one rearranging things. I wait. I keep waiting. And then you choose work, or your friends, or sleep. I know those are important…I really do. But where do I fit?”
You rubbed your temples. The day had left its fingerprints all over you, and here he was asking for the one thing you had none of, more of you. “That’s not fair. I’m busy. You know what this week’s been like.”
“And I’m not part of that life, right?” he said, too quickly, as if the words had been clawing at the back of his throat. As soon as they came out, regret flickered in his eyes. “I didn’t mean…”
You put up a hand. “No, I get it. You’re upset. I just…” Your voice thinned. “I don’t have anything left tonight. I’m trying to keep it together.”
“Me too,” he said quietly.
There was a long, bare pause, the kind that makes you aware of your own breathing. You reached for your coat like it might steady you. “Maybe we should talk when we’re not this… raw.”
He moved as if to step toward you, then stopped. “Okay,” he said. No anger. No plea. Just the soft retreat of a person who was tired of asking.
You left before your throat could betray you. He didn’t follow. The door closed without the usual lingering goodbye. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
The silence was what hurt most, its shape, its persistence. Jun, who normally texted good morning without fail, who sent a photo of the sky when it looked like a watercolor because he knew you liked it, said nothing for two days. Your fingers hovered over your keyboard more than once. You typed, ‘I’m sorry’. Deleted it. ‘I miss you’. Deleted it. ‘Can we talk?’ Deleted it. Pride and fear traded places so often you felt motion-sick.
On the second night, as snow stitched itself across the city, the doorbell rang.
When you opened the door, Jun stood on the threshold with snow caught in his hair and on his shoulders, a takeout bag looped around his fingers. He looked exactly like someone who had practiced what to say and forgotten it the moment he saw you.
“Hi,” he said, cautious, as if the word itself might spook you. “I… brought dinner. You always forget to eat properly when you’re stressed.”
Your chest ached with something helpless and fond. “Jun.”
“I didn’t want to text something that sounded wrong,” he rushed on, stepping inside when you moved back. He placed the bag on the tabel, hands hovering like he wasn’t sure whether to tuck them in his pockets or hold onto something. “And I didn’t want to show up and make it worse. I just…can we talk?”
You nodded, then because your hands needed something to do, you opened the containers. The small, familiar things, steam lifting from rice, the clean, citrusy snap of pickled vegetables, bridged the space between you more than anything either of you had said so far.
He watched you, the way he always did, noticing the tiny things. “You’re still biting the inside of your cheek,” he murmured.
“And you’re still terrible at pretending you’re fine,” you said, softer than you meant to.
He huffed out a laugh, nervous and grateful. “I am. I’m really bad at it.”
You leaned on the counter, palms flat against the cool surface. “I’m sorry I keep canceling. Not because you’re mad…because you’re right. I thought being busy explained everything. It doesn’t, not when you’re waiting outside buildings for me to remember you exist.”
He winced. “I don’t want you to feel guilty.”
“I don’t,” you said, honest and a little raw. “I feel… sad. Because I love that you show up for me, and I hate that you don’t know I want to show up for you too.”
He swallowed, the knot in his throat visible. “I never wanted to make you choose between me and your life.”
“You’re not asking me to choose,” you said. “You’re asking me to choose you too. And I didn’t. Not enough.”
Jun’s shoulders dropped, some guarded part of him softening. “I said something I shouldn’t have, about not being part of your life. I was tired. It felt true in the moment. It isn’t. I know it isn’t.”
“It felt true to me, too,” you admitted, and his eyes flickered up, startled. “Not because it is, but because I made it feel that way. I’ve been overwhelmed and I used that as an excuse. You deserve better than my leftovers.”
He let out a shaky breath, relief, grief, both. “I don’t need grand gestures. I just need to know I’m not the only one saving time for us.”
You nodded, wiping your palms on your thighs. “Okay. Then let’s be boring about it for a while. Put us on the calendar like we’re important, because we are.”
He smiled, small and genuine. “Boring sounds perfect.”
“Tuesday nights,” you said, thinking out loud. “No cancellations unless someone is actually on fire.”
“Or contagious,” he offered.
“Or contagious,” you agreed. “And if work explodes, I call. I don’t text a ghostly ‘can’t tonight’ five minutes before.”
“I’ll meet you halfway,” he said. “If you need quiet and soup instead of plans, say so. I can do quiet and soup. I am, in fact, a world-class bringer of soup.”
You nudged the takeout bag with a knuckle. “Evidence accepted.”
His eyes went bright in the way they did when he was overwhelmed and trying not to show it. His fingers brushed yours, hesitant. “Can I…?”
You nodded, and he laced your hands together. Warmth bloomed from the simple contact, quiet and certain. He leaned his forehead to yours, breath fanning your cheek, and everything slowed, your thoughts, the mess of the week, the stupid pride. Just the two of you and the hum of the heater and snow softening the traffic outside.
“I missed you,” he said.
“I missed you more,” you said, because it felt good to say it first for once. “I’ll do better. Not perfect. But better.”
“Same,” he whispered. “I’ll say the hard thing before it turns mean in my mouth. I’ll knock on the door before I decide I’m not wanted.”
You huffed a laugh that caught on a tear. “Look at us making rules like actual adults.”
He smiled into the kiss, which was unhurried and warm, the kind that said we have time and we’re choosing it. When you parted, snowmelt glittered on his shoulders, you brushed it away.
“Thank you for dinner,” you said, the words carrying more than they usually did.
“Thank you for letting me in,” he replied, thumb stroking the back of your hand like he was relearning it. “Also, I may have gotten your favorite dessert. I panicked and bought two.”
“You panicked and bought cake?” you teased. “Truly a crisis.”
He pretended to be offended. “If you don’t want any…”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you said, tugging him toward the couch. “We have a Tuesday to plan.”
“Boring,” he echoed, and his grin was soft and sure.
You ate together, knees touching, the living room smelling like sesame and citrus and new snow. It wasn’t a grand fix. It was better, a choice made out loud, a calendar blocked, a kiss unhurried, a promise given shape. And when his phone buzzed with some distant, forgettable notification, he flipped it facedown without looking.
This time, you noticed, and reached for his hand first. 5️⃣ Hoshi: With Soonyoung, everything ran hot, his laughter, his ideas, his dancing, even your arguments. He didn’t just walk into rooms, he blew in like weather. Most days you loved it. Most days, you were the calm after his storm.
But that night, you were already sitting on the edge of the couch, coat still on, keys in your palm like you couldn’t decide whether to stay or go. He burst through the door twenty-three minutes late, breathless and shining with sweat, the strap of his bag sliding off his shoulder.
“Hey, hey, I’m here,” he said, kicking off his shoes with a clatter and trying on a grin that usually worked. “Traffic, practice ran long, then I…”
“You promised today you’d be on time.” Your arms crossed before you could stop them. Your voice sounded steadier than you felt.
“I know. I know, I lost track.” He draped his hoodie over a chair, raking a hand through damp hair. “Don’t be mad.”
“You always ‘lose track.’” You stared at the clock, then back at him. “Do you even take me seriously, or do you think I’m just going to forget every time you do this?”
The grin slipped. He blinked, like the room suddenly came into focus. “Of course, I take you seriously. Why would you even say that?”
“Because you keep putting everything else before me.” The words came out sharper than you intended, and once they were loose, there was no calling them back. “Maybe I’m just not a priority.”
A flicker went through his eyes, hurt, quick as a match. He dropped his bag to the floor. “You think I don’t care?” His voice rose, rare for him. “I’m working my ass off every day, early mornings, late nights…and it’s still not enough for you? You think I’m late because it’s fun?”
“No,” you shot back, “I think you’re late because you keep breaking promises.”
He opened his mouth, closed it. The silence stretched. The hum of the fridge suddenly felt loud.
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said, softer now, but bristling. “Sometimes practice runs over, sometimes the choreo isn’t landing, sometimes I’m just…behind. I’m trying to carry everything.”
“And I’m not asking you to stop carrying it,” you said, throat tight. “I’m just asking to not be the thing you drop.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I said I was sorry.”
“You’ve said it a lot.” You swallowed. “I want different.”
He stared at the floor like the right answer was written there. When he looked up again, something in him had gone still. “Fine,” he said, a hard edge flattening his words. “If that’s how you see me, then maybe I shouldn’t make promises at all.”
The sting was immediate and precise. You felt it under your ribs. “Maybe you shouldn’t,” you said, even though you wanted to say anything else. You wanted to ask him to try again. You wanted to not feel foolish for waiting.
He took a step toward you. “Wait…”
But the hot pressure behind your eyes warned you. You turned before your voice could crack, catching your coat sleeve on the doorknob. His uneven breathing followed you down the hall. You didn’t look back.
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
The quiet that came after wasn’t peaceful; it was a drip you couldn’t stop hearing.
By noon the next day, the spot on your phone where his name usually lit up stayed blank. You scrolled through inside jokes and voice notes, typing and deleting messages you couldn’t bear to send.
By the second day, you caught yourself glancing at the studio’s account, at a grainy story of him laughing with the guys, and felt both relieved and petty for feeling relieved.
On the third night, you were halfway through convincing yourself to stop waiting up, when someone knocked. Three urgent knocks. Then two more. Then, “Please,” muffled, like he’d leaned his forehead against the door.
You opened it, and he almost stumbled inside. His cheeks were pink from the cold, breath fogging the air behind him. He looked like he’d run the whole way.
“I can’t do this,” he said, the words tumbling out before the door had even closed. “I can’t not talk to you.”
Your heart did something you didn’t authorize. “Soonyoung…”
“I mess up.” He planted his hands on his knees, catching breath, then straightened and met your eyes. The panic in his face wasn’t dramatic, it was honest. “I lose track of time. I get swallowed by practice. I say I’ll be somewhere and then I’m two blocks away and there’s a last-minute change and…” He stopped, swallowing hard. “But it’s never because I don’t care. It’s never because you’re not a priority.”
“Then why does it feel like it?” Your voice came out small. “Why am I the one who has to understand while you…forget?”
He flinched. “Because I tell myself you understand, and then I use that as permission to push you to the edge of my day.” He shook his head like he hated the truth even as he said it. “I don’t want to be that guy to you. I don’t want to be someone you can’t count on.”
You leaned against the wall, arms loose at your sides now. “I don’t need perfect. I just need…chosen. Even when it’s inconvenient.”
He took a step closer. “You are chosen. Every day. Even when I’m an idiot about showing it.” His voice cracked. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t,” you said, and the certainty surprised you. “But I need you to meet me in the middle. Not with another ‘sorry.’ With a plan.”
“A plan,” he repeated, like the word had weight he could carry. He nodded quickly, eyes bright with relief and nerves. “Okay. I can do that. I will do that. Tell me what you need and I’ll…no, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.”
He held up his fingers, counting. “One: I’m setting alarms that don’t just say ‘leave’, they say ‘you’re meeting her, get out now.’ Two: if practice runs late, I'll call you the minute I know. Not a text. A call. Even if it’s five minutes. Three: I block time for you on my calendar like I do for rehearsals, non-negotiable. Four: I keep an extra bag here so I don’t have to run home first and be late because I’m changing clothes. Five: if I’m more than ten minutes off, I owe you ramen and a foot massage. Not negotiable.” A weak smile. “Okay, the last one is maybe more for me.”
Despite yourself, you snorted. “Ramen and a foot massage?”
“I’m trying to make this memorable,” he said, hands lifted in surrender. “I want to show you I heard you. I don’t want ‘sorry’ to be the whole story.”
You searched his face. Exhaustion had carved faint shadows under his eyes, there was still a smear of practice chalk along his jaw. He looked like himself, stripped of the performance, open, a little messy, completely there.
“I need you to be where you say you’ll be,” you said, clearer now. “If you can’t be, tell me before I’m already waiting. And…” your throat tightened, but you pushed through “...I need to stop feeling like an afterthought you’ll get to once everything else is done.”
“You’re not an afterthought,” he said immediately. He stepped close enough that you could feel the shake still running through him. “You’re the thought. The one that gets me through the last half hour of practice and…” he exhaled, a ragged, self-conscious laugh “...and the one I write stupid little notes about in my head so I don’t forget to tell you later.”
You looked down at his hands, still fisted at his sides like he was afraid to touch you without permission. So you closed the distance yourself, catching his jacket and tugging him forward.
“Then don’t,” you said, tears spilling before you could stop them. “Don’t forget. Don’t make me guess.”
He kissed you like he’d been holding his breath for days. It wasn’t practiced, it was urgent and clumsy, his palm finding your waist like a lifeline. The kiss tasted like cold air and apology and relief. When you finally broke apart, foreheads pressed together, the world felt steady again in that small circle of warmth.
“Just try,” you whispered, your fingers fitting into the spaces between his. “Be there when you say you will. Call if you can’t. That’s all I need.”
He nodded so fast his hair fell into his eyes. He pushed it back, smiling, shaky and real. “I will. I promise.” He paused, winced, then amended, “No…scratch that. I’ll prove it. Starting now.”
“How?”
“I’m early for our next date,” he said, pulling his phone out and tapping like a man on a mission. You watched the screen light his face. “Friday, seven. Calendar block. Two alarms. I’m leaving practice at six-thirty with or without them. And…” He held up the phone, the calendar square a neat little box labelled with your name and a ridiculous heart. “I’m asking you to share your calendar with me too, so I can see you there and not just in my head.”
You rolled your eyes, but your mouth was already curving. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m yours,” he shot back, quick and certain, shoulders finally dropping. He tucked his phone away and leaned in, voice softening. “And this time, I’ll keep it.” 6️⃣ Wonwoo: With Wonwoo, arguments didn’t start with shouting. They started with quiet, thin, careful quiet that made you feel like you were whispering into a room with no walls.
It was late. The TV hummed in the background, the remains of dinner going cold on the table. You’d been talking, really talking, about work, the meeting where your idea got passed around until someone else took credit, the way your boss interrupted you mid-sentence, how small you felt walking out of that room.
You reached for your tea and realized he hadn’t said anything in… a while. His thumbs scrolled absently across his phone, his eyes on the screen, his mouth pulling into that neutral line he wore when he was anywhere but here.
“Are you even hearing me right now?” you asked, voice soft but frayed around the edges.
His head snapped up. “Of course I am.”
“Then what did I just say?”
Wonwoo blinked. The pause stretched, thin and tight. He opened his mouth, closed it. “You were…upset. About work.”
“That’s not an answer.” Your heartbeat climbed. “I needed you to be here with me. Not in your phone.”
He set it face down, as if that could rewind anything. “I was listening. I just…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t know what to say yet.”
“Then say that,” you said, fingers knotted in your sweater hem. “Say ‘I don’t know what to say yet.’ Say ‘I need a second.’ Say anything. Because when you go quiet, it feels like I’m talking to a wall.”
His jaw ticked. “Maybe I don’t always know what you need immediately. Did you ever think of that?”
You exhaled, stung but steady. “I don’t need immediate. I need present.”
The air turned brittle. He leaned back, eyes sliding away, the silence widening between you like a crack in glass.
“Wonwoo,” you tried again, gentler this time, “I’m telling you something that matters to me.”
“I heard you,” he said, voice low. “I just… when it gets heavy, my brain feels like static. If I talk too quickly, I say the wrong thing. So I wait. I try to think. And then it’s already too late.”
“It’s too late when I’m already crying in the bathroom at work and you’re here scrolling,” you shot back, heat rising in your chest. “I don’t want perfect words. I want you not to disappear.”
He flinched at that. Then, like a switch flipped, his expression cooled. “Maybe I’m not good at this,” he muttered. “Maybe I’m not cut out for… for you.”
The words landed like a drop through ice. You stared at him, feeling something in your chest fold in on itself. “Okay,” you said, voice small in the big, quiet room. “Maybe you’re right.”
You stood, grabbed your bag from the chair. He didn’t move at first. Then he did, reaching out as if to catch a sleeve he couldn’t quite reach.
“Wait…” he started.
But you had already opened the door. “I can’t keep begging you to show up,” you said, and left.
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
Two days of silence. Two days where the apartment felt like a museum and your phone a paperweight. You didn’t call. He didn’t call. Pride and hurt sat side by side in your chest, both loud, both insisting they were protecting you.
Snow came and made the world a little quieter. You were in socks and an old hoodie when the knock sounded, three hesitant knocks, spaced like he was testing the beat of a song he wasn’t sure he remembered.
You almost didn’t answer. You did.
Wonwoo stood there, hair damp with melting flakes, shoulders hunched against the cold. His hands were shoved into his coat pockets the way they were whenever he was bracing for something.
“Hi,” he said, breath clouding in the air between you.
“Hi.”
“I’m sorry.” The words were rough, as if unused. “For the phone. For the silence. For saying…” He swallowed. “For saying I wasn’t cut out for you. That was a terrible thing to put on you.”
You held the door but not wide. “Then why did you say it?”
He met your eyes, and for once, didn’t look away. “Because I was scared. And when I’m scared, I hide. I thought if I kept quiet long enough, I’d think of the right thing to say. Instead I made you feel alone. I hate that I did that.”
The anger in you shifted, softer at the edges. “I don’t need you to fix everything I say. I need you to stand in it with me.”
“I know.” He exhaled like he’d been holding his breath for two days straight. “I grew up learning that quiet meant safety. Don’t speak unless you’re sure. But that’s not fair to you. You don’t need a perfect sentence, you need me. I’m sorry it took me this long to understand that.”
You stepped aside. “Come in. You’re freezing.”
He toed off his shoes like he always did, careful and neat, then hovered near the doorway, unsure where to put his hands, his eyes, himself. You set water to boil out of habit.
He watched you move. “I’ve been rehearsing this for two nights,” he admitted quietly. “It still sounds clumsy in my head.”
“Good,” you said, surprising yourself with a small smile. “Clumsy means you’re not hiding.”
The kettle clicked. You poured two mugs you weren’t sure either of you would drink.
“About what you said that night,” you started, the old bruise throbbing. “That you’re not cut out for me.”
His eyes glassed, sudden and unhidden. “I didn’t mean it,” he said fiercely, the quiet falling away. “I said it because I felt like I was failing you and I wanted out of the feeling. Not out of us.”
Your throat tightened. “It hurt.”
“I know,” he said, voice breaking on the second word. “I’m so sorry.”
You set the mugs down and closed the distance. Up close, the cold was still on his skin. He hesitated, then brushed his knuckles against your hand like he was asking a question.
“Can I…?” he asked.
“Yes.”
His kiss started careful, an apology folded into a promise. You felt the tension leave his shoulders by degrees, felt the way he stayed, present, steady. When you parted, he rested his forehead against yours like he always did when words lingered on his tongue.
“I missed you,” he murmured, breath warm. “More than I can say without messing it up.”
You smiled, watery and real. “Then don’t say it,” you whispered. “Just show me.”
He nodded, a small, relieved sound escaping him. “Okay. I’ll show you. Starting now.”
“Starting now,” you echoed.
He took your hand and, instead of letting go, sat with you on the couch. No TV. No phone. Just the slow, ordinary warmth of two people learning a new language together.
After a minute, he spoke, halting, honest. “Tell me the part about your boss again. The part that made you feel small. I’m listening. And if I mess up, I’ll try again.”
You leaned back, felt your shoulders drop for the first time in days. “Okay,” you said, and this time your voice didn’t tremble. “So, in the meeting…”
And he stayed. 7️⃣ Woozi: With Jihoon, it was never yelling, it was precision. Words that clipped instead of crashed.
You swung by his studio close to midnight, the hallways quiet, the blue glow under his door giving him away. You eased it open and held up a bag. “I brought food. Your favorite.”
He didn’t look away from the monitors. A track looped in the background, a half-built chorus circling the room like a restless thought. “Just leave it there.”
You set it on the couch, hands lingering on the paper handles. “Did you eat yet?”
“No,” he said, fingers moving, “but I’m not hungry.”
“Jihoon, you haven’t eaten all day.”
His jaw tensed. “Can you not start? I’m busy.”
The words were flat, but they landed like a door shut in your face. You swallowed. “I’m not starting anything. I’m worried.”
“Well, don’t.” He finally glanced up, eyes rimmed red, shoulders tight. “I don’t need you babysitting me.”
It came fast. It always did with him, one wrong word, and the air went thin.
You blinked, breath catching. “Babysitting? That’s what you think this is?”
He rubbed his temple like the conversation was another file to drag to the trash. “I didn’t mean…look, I have a deadline. I can’t do this right now.”
“Do what?” Your voice wavered despite you. “Care about you? Show up for you?”
Silence pressed between you, full of the humming equipment and the too-loud loop on repeat. He looked away first. “I need to work.”
You nodded. It was the smallest motion, but it felt like a cliff giving way. “Fine. If that’s how you see me, I’ll stop.”
You grabbed your coat. He didn’t chase you. The door clicked behind you, and in the hallway you realized you’d been holding your breath. You let it go, and something inside you went with it.
You cried in the elevator where no one could hear you over the tired machinery.
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Four days. No late-night texts, no voice notes about a new bridge he hated or loved, no small, stupid memes he usually sent when he didn’t know how to say ‘I miss you’. You typed a dozen messages and deleted all of them. Pride and hurt made a tight braid in your chest.
On the fifth night, the intercom buzzed. You padded to the door in socks, heart kicking despite yourself.
When you opened it, Jihoon stood there with a takeout bag crinkling in his hand. The same order you’d brought. Fresh this time. He looked smaller without the studio around him.
“Hi,” he said, somewhere between sheepish and exhausted. “I, uh… didn’t eat it that night.” He lifted the bag an inch. “I got it again. Thought maybe we could share it now.”
Your eyes fell on him and the way he was bouncing from one leg to the other. “Jihoon.”
“Can I come in?” His voice was careful. So were his eyes.
You stepped back. “Yeah.”
He slipped off his shoes and stood in your kitchen like he it was the first time he has stepped in your apartment. You took the bag and set it on the counter.
“I’m sorry,” he said, before you could open a single container. “For that night. For… everything about that night.”
You stared at the takeout for a beat, then at him. “You hurt me.”
“I know.” He nodded like he’d been practicing that admission. “I was in my head. I am in my head a lot, and when I’m there it feels like everything else is noise, even the things that aren’t. Especially the things that matter. That’s not an excuse.” He squeezed the back of his neck. “It’s just what it is.”
“You said I was babysitting you.”
“I know.” He winced. “That was me being defensive because I didn’t want to admit I needed… anything. Anyone.”
You opened the containers, steam rose, filling the space with warmth you hadn’t felt in days. You handed him chopsticks. He took them but didn’t move.
“I wasn’t trying to manage you,” you said quietly. “I was trying to love you. And when you pushed me away like that, it made me feel like I didn’t belong in your life. Like I was intruding.”
His shoulders sank. “You do belong. You do.” He paused, searching. “It scares me how much.”
You looked at him for a long moment. “If you need space when you’re working, tell me you need space. Don’t make me feel stupid for showing up.”
“I won’t.” He swallowed. “I’m still learning how to say the thing before I say the wrong thing.”
You both moved to the floor, your backs to the couch, containers between you. You ate in small bites, the kind that buy time. The quiet felt less brittle.
He spoke first, chopsticks paused midair. “When I’m deep in a track, it’s like I’m underwater. I forget the surface exists. You walk in and you’re… air.” He looked down, then back up. “And sometimes that hurts, because breathing means I feel everything again. Including the fear I’m going to fail, or disappoint you. So I say something stupid to make the feeling go away.”
You set your food down. “I don’t want you to disappear to make it easier. I want to be part of the work and the mess and the stupid. I can handle the fear if you hand it to me, not at me.”
He exhaled, a shaky laugh at the end of it. “You’re better with words than me.”
“You’re good with them,” you said softly. “You just use them on music first.”
He smiled, brief and true. It flickered into something more fragile. “I missed you. I kept almost texting and then I’d hear that loop and think, ‘fix the chorus first, fix yourself first.’ But I don’t fix myself alone very well.”
You nudged his knee with yours. “That’s allowed.”
He set his food aside completely now, turning to face you. “I don’t deserve how much you care. That night, you were right to leave.”
“You don’t get to decide what you deserve,” you said. “I do. And I want to be here. But I need you to meet me halfway.”
He nodded, eyes bright. “Okay.”
His fingers threaded with yours like he’d been holding tension there for days, like the act of touching you released it.
“I’ll try to say it before it’s sharp,” he murmured. “I’ll try to say, ‘I’m scared,’ or ‘I need twenty minutes,’ instead of aiming for the place that will make you leave.”
“Good,” you whispered. “And I’ll try not to turn concern into control. I’ll ask what you need before I assume.”
He huffed a small, grateful sound. “What I need right now is you not leaving.”
“I’m not.”
You kissed him first, soft, testing, and he met you there, careful and sure. The gratitude in it was new, so was the way he relaxed as if something important had finally clicked into place. His hand came up to your cheek, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth like an apology and a promise.
When you parted, he stayed close. “Can we… put on a movie and let the food get cold and then reheat it and pretend that was the plan?” His smile tilted. “And tomorrow, will you come to the studio? I’ll set an alarm to eat. I’ll show you the bridge I’m stuck on. You can tell me it’s terrible or perfect, I’ll accept either.”
You laughed, the sound loosening the last knot. “Deal. But I’m bringing a timer. And snacks.”
“Fine.” He squeezed your hand. “And if I say something sharp…”
“You’ll try again,” you finished for him.
He nodded. “I’ll try again.”
He leaned back against the couch and tugged you with him until your head found his shoulder. The movie you put on five minutes later barely made it past the opening credits, the food did get cold, the apartment felt warm anyway.
Near the end of the second act, his voice slipped out, quiet enough that you almost missed it. “Let me stay,” he said, the word careful and certain at once. “Just… let me stay with you.”
You turned your face toward him. “I will.”
And you did. 8️⃣ DK: Fighting with Seokmin always felt like arguing with the sun. He was warmth and laughter, the kind of person who could turn a grocery run into a bit, who would sing apologies in falsetto when he spilled coffee on your sleeve. But that night, even the brightest parts of him cast a shadow.
It had been a day that chewed you up, missed deadlines, a call with your mom that went sideways, the train breaking down between stations. You were venting, pacing the living room, hands drawing frantic circles in the air, when he tried to do what he always did.
“It sounds like the universe put you on hold,” he said, eyebrow raised. “Press 9 to speak to a manager?”
You stopped dead. “God, Seokmin, can you take anything seriously?”
The room fell quiet. The only sound was the soft hum of the fridge and the rain tapping against the window. His smile flattened like a balloon losing air.
“I was just trying to make you feel better,” he said.
“Well, it doesn’t,” you shot back. “It makes me feel like you don’t care.”
His face fell fully at that, the joke dying before it finished forming. “You really think that?”
You folded your arms across your chest to keep your voice from shaking. “Sometimes it feels like you’d rather make a joke than actually listen.”
He ran a hand through his hair, the way he did when he was buying time. “I…” He swallowed. “I laugh when I don’t know what else to do.”
“That’s convenient,” you said, and winced as the words landed. “It’s like you get to skip the hard parts.”
His jaw worked, a tiny, stubborn movement. When he spoke again, his voice had no bounce, no music. “Maybe I laugh because if I stop, everything feels too big. Because I don’t know how to fix it for you and it scares me. Because if I say the wrong thing…” He took a breath that trembled. “...if I say the wrong thing, I’m afraid you’ll realize I’m not enough and you’ll leave.”
That took the wind out of you. “Seok…”
He was already reaching for his jacket. “Maybe I should give you some space.”
Your anger cracked into panic. “You don’t have to…”
“I don’t want to make it worse,” he said, unable to meet your eyes. “I never want to make it worse.”
The door closed gently, almost apologetically. And just like that, the room cooled by ten degrees.
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Two days stretched like gum, thin, sticky, impossible not to keep pulling. You woke to silence instead of his off-key morning hum. You stared at your phone like it might teach you a spell. You typed and erased a dozen messages.
‘hey
no, that’s stupid’
‘can we talk?
too soon?’
‘i’m sorry for what i said
send, no, wait’
You wore his oversized hoodie around the apartment, telling yourself it was because it was chilly, not because it still smelled faintly like his citrus body wash. At night, you replayed the fight and noticed all the spaces where fear sat between the words.
On the second evening, the rain finally broke. You slipped your shoes on and walked to the park where you both gravitated whenever life felt too loud. The path glistened, lamplight puddling in the wet. The old bench under the big tree stood like an appointment you were late for.
He was there. Head bowed, elbows on his knees, hands twisting his ring in anxious loops. When your shoes scuffed the gravel, he looked up.
“Seokmin…” you said softly.
His eyes were wide and glassy, like he hadn’t slept much. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I almost didn’t,” you admitted, sitting a careful distance away. “I thought if I stayed home, I could pretend we weren’t… this.”
He nodded like that made perfect sense. The quiet between you felt heavy but not hostile. Just… fragile.
“I shouldn’t have said you don’t care,” you said, the words warm with breath you’d been holding for forty-eight hours. “You care more than anyone I know. I said it to hurt you because I was hurt.”
He blinked hard and gave a weak chuckle that wasn’t a joke. “I kept replaying it and thinking, ‘this is where I fix it,’ but my brain only knows the one tool.” He tapped his chest. “Clown-in-residence.”
You turned to face him fully. “I don’t want you to stop being you. I love your dumb universe manager joke. I love that you sing to the rice cooker. I just… sometimes I need you to be here with me in the ugliest parts, without reaching for the light switch.”
He nodded quickly, eagerly even, then caught himself and slowed. “Okay. Okay.” He laced his fingers together like he was trying to hold himself in place. “I can listen. I want to. I…sometimes I panic. It’s like, if I don’t make you laugh, I’m failing at loving you.”
“You don’t have to perform to be loved,” you said. “You’re allowed to be scared. You’re allowed to not have the answer.”
He breathed out, a shaky, honest sound. “When I was younger, joking always worked. If someone was mad or sad, I could flip the scene, you know? I didn’t learn what to do when the scene didn’t need flipping.” He looked at you, vulnerable in a way that made your chest ache. “I’m trying. I want to be what you need.”
“Then… ask me what I need.” You smiled, a small one. “We can make it stupidly simple, like a menu. ‘Do you want me to listen, help, or lighten?’ And I’ll pick.”
His mouth tilted. “A feelings menu?”
“With pictures if you behave,” you said, and he laughed for real this time, soft, relieved.
He scooted closer, the space between you shrinking to a breath. “Can we practice?” he asked, earnest.
“Right now?”
He nodded. “Okay. What do you need… right now?”
You looked down at your hands, damp from the bench, and then back up. “Listen.”
He settled, shoulders lowering. “I’m listening.”
“I was overwhelmed,” you said. “And I wanted to not feel alone in it. When you joked, it felt like you stepped out of the room while I was still in the mess.”
He winced, not theatrically, but like truth stung. “I stepped out because I was scared I’d break something if I stayed.” He took a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving. I thought space would keep me from messing up, but it just… made the mess colder.”
You shifted closer, your knees touching his. “I’m sorry I went for your softest part. I know how hard you try. I see it. Even when I’m mad, I see it.”
He blinked, and tears gathered. He laughed once, an embarrassed, watery sound. “You’re going to make me cry in public.”
“It’s the park,” you said. “It’s practically designed for crying.”
He huffed out a breath that could have been a laugh or a sob. “I’ll do better,” he said, the words careful and deliberate. “Not as a promise I can’t keep, but as a practice. I’ll ask what you need. I’ll sit with you in the dark. And… if I’m scared, I’ll say that, too.”
You took his hand, fingers threading through his like they had always meant to. “And I’ll tell you when I want the joke. Not every room needs light, but some rooms do. We’ll figure out which is which together.”
His lips trembled, then steadied. “Okay.” He squeezed your hand. He stopped, searching. “Can I be honest without trying to fix anything?”
You nodded. “Please.”
“I missed you so much,” he said simply. “It felt like two days of holding my breath.”
You let the truth meet his. “Me too.”
He leaned in, slow enough to let you choose, and when you did, the kiss was soft and warm and a little salty. It felt like standing in the first patch of sun after a storm, not because the weather changed, but because you had.
When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to yours. “You’re my everything,” he whispered, like it wasn’t a line but a quiet fact he’d been carrying for months.
The words didn’t set off alarms this time. They didn’t feel like fireworks, either. They settled into you like a weight that fit, heavy in a good way, anchoring. “I believe you,” you said, and meant it all the way through.
He exhaled, a laugh tangled in relief. “So… what do you need now?”
You pretended to think, eyes flicking up to his. “Walk with me,” you said. “Tell me about the song you’ve been humming under your breath for a week. And maybe… buy me a hot chocolate on the way home.”
He stood, tugging you up by your joined hands. “I can do all of that.” He paused. “And if the universe gives us trouble again, I’ll ask for the feelings menu first.”
You bumped his shoulder. “With pictures.”
“With pictures,” he agreed, grinning as you fell into step together.
9️⃣ Mingyu: Fights with Mingyu didn’t creep in, they hit like summer storms, hot, sudden, and louder than either of you meant them to be. Passion first, sense later. You loved him for the same heart that made the arguments messy. Some nights, though, it felt like you were learning him in the dark and guessing the edges by touch.
It started over something small, which is to say, it started the way most big fights do.
He came in late again, shoes thudding off by the door, keys tossed into the bowl with a clatter. The clock stung, 1:27 a.m. You were curled up on the couch in a hoodie, a cold mug on the table, the TV paused on a frame that had been still for an hour.
“You’re up,” he said, a little surprised, a little guilty.
“You said you’d be back by eleven.”
He winced. “We grabbed food after the game. I didn’t check the time.”
You swallowed, tried to keep your voice even. “Do you ever think about how I feel, waiting for you all the time?”
He blinked like you’d tossed water in his face. “I’m not doing anything wrong. I just lose track of time.”
“That’s the problem, Mingyu. You lose track of me.”
His jaw worked. “So now I’m not allowed to see my friends? You want me glued to you every second?”
“That’s not what I said.” Your breath came sharp. “I’m saying communicate. Tell me if it’s going late. Tell me I’m not an afterthought.”
“God, it’s one night,” he shot back. “Why does it always have to be a fight?”
“Because I keep asking and nothing changes.”
He shifted, defensive heat rising. “So I’m the bad guy for having a life?”
“No,” you said, cheeks burning, “you’re my boyfriend who forgets he has one.”
Something flickered in his eyes, hurt, pride, fear. The mix that always made him reckless.
“Right,” he said, laugh bone-dry. “If I’m such a terrible boyfriend, remind me, why are you even with me?”
The words sucked the air from the room. Your heart stuttered, his face said he already wanted them back, but they were loud and ugly between you.
“Good question,” you whispered.
He stood there, chest heaving, and for a beat neither of you knew how to climb down. You got up slowly, found your coat, found the doorknob before you found your composure.
“Don’t,” he said, reaching out and stopping short of your wrist. “I didn’t mean…”
“You said it,” you managed. “And I heard you.”
You walked out. The hallway was too bright. Your phone buzzed twice. You didn’t look.
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The first night without him was bone-quiet. The second was worse. You made dinner, didn’t finish it, washed the pan like a ritual. Your phone lit up with his name and then with nothing, typing… stopped… typing… stopped. You stared until the screen dimmed.
He sent one message, ‘ I’m sorry. I’m a mess. Please call me.’
You didn’t. Not yet. You needed the part of you that loved him to sit down for a second so the part that loved you could speak.
On the second night, the knocking started like rain and turned into thunder. You opened the door because you knew it was him, because the building had never echoed like that before.
Mingyu looked wrecked, hair flattened on one side like he’d run his hands through it a hundred times, hoodie half-zipped, eyes red and swollen. He held his breath when he saw you, like the sight of you might flee.
“You can hate me if you want,” he blurted, voice already cracking, “but don’t leave me.”
Your throat tightened. “Mingyu, what …”
“I said the worst thing I could say.” He swallowed, words tumbling over each other. “I knew it the moment it left my mouth and I tried to swallow it back and it was just…” He shook his head, desperate. “I’m an idiot. I panic, and I go for the sharpest words because I’m scared, and then they cut you, and then I hate myself.”
He stepped forward like you might push him away. You didn’t. His hands found your arms, gentle even in panic.
“You’re not a burden,” he said, eyes wet. “You’re the best part of my day. Every day. I hate that I made you doubt that.”
Tears stung hot and helpless. “I don’t want perfection, Mingyu. I just want you. But you can’t throw out ‘why are you with me’ like it’s nothing. That lives somewhere when it’s said. It doesn’t vanish.”
“I know.” He nodded, too fast, like he could outrun the shame. “I know. I’ve been rehearsing what to say for two nights and none of it is good enough. I’ll…” He paused, breath shaking. “I’ll do better. I will. Just… don’t walk away from me.”
You held his gaze. “Doing better can’t just be a promise at my door.”
“I know,” he said again, quieter now. “Tell me how to not mess this up.”
You didn’t want to be his teacher. You wanted a partner. So you took a breath and spoke like one.
“Text me if you’re going to be late. Not at one a.m, at eleven, when you realize it. Not an essay, just a heads-up. I won’t sit staring at the door if I know you aren’t behind it.”
He nodded, fierce. “Done. I can do that. I should’ve already been doing that.”
“And if I bring something up,” you continued, “don’t go straight to defense like it’s an attack. Ask me what I need.”
He let out a breath with a shaky laugh. “What do you need now?”
“I need to hear that ‘why are you with me’ is never coming out of your mouth again.”
“It’s not,” he said, immediate. “I hate that I made you carry that. I’ll never say it again. If I feel that panic, I’ll take a walk. I’ll call Seungcheol and yell into his voicemail. I’ll do push-ups in the street. I don’t care. I won’t throw you away to make a point.”
A laugh snuck out of you, thin and wet. “Please don’t do push-ups in the street.”
“If that’s what it takes,” he said, a weak smile breaking through, “I’ll do burpees.”
You rolled your eyes, the knot in your chest loosening by a finger-width. “And I’ll… tell you when I’m spiraling instead of letting it pile up until I snap. I’ll take a walk too. I won’t disappear without saying where I’m going.”
“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay.” He looked at your face like memorizing it. “Can I?”
“Yes,” you said, before he finished. “Come in.”
He stepped over the threshold like it might vanish if he moved too fast. The apartment felt different with him in it again, like sound remembered how to be sound. He hovered, unsure, then cupped your face with both hands, thumbs shaking against your cheeks.
The kiss wasn’t neat. It never was with him. It was clumsy and urgent and honest, the kind that said, ‘Please know what I mean even if I can’t say it right’. He kissed you like an apology and a promise and a thank you all at once.
“I missed you so much it hurt.”
“I missed you,” you whispered, voice rough. “Don’t give me reasons to leave.”
“I won’t,” he said, and it wasn’t a dramatic vow. It was steady, like something you could set a cup on.
He cleared his throat. “Can I say one more thing without sounding dramatic?”
“You, dramatic?” You tilted your head. “Never.”
He grinned, embarrassed. “I’m still learning how to be good at this. At us. I didn’t… grow up seeing people fight well. I’m trying. I want you to see me trying.”
“I do,” you said. “Just don’t make me squint.”
He nodded, earnest as a promise. “Deal.”
There was a pause that felt like the first breath after a sprint.
“Also,” you added, softer, “go see your friends. I don’t want to be your whole world. I just want to know I’m in it.”
“You are,” he said, immediate again. “Front row. Center seat. VIP wristband.”
“Progress,” you said. “Look at us.”
He kissed your forehead. “Look at us.”
You tugged him toward the kitchen. “There’s leftover curry. It’s cold, but so are you, so it matches.”
He pressed a hand to his chest. “Wounded. Deserved.”
You put the container in the microwave and leaned on the counter, watching him watch you like he was afraid to blink. The hum of the machine filled the quiet. He stepped closer, slid his hand into yours, laced your fingers together like a habit he wanted to keep.
When the timer beeped, he didn’t let go. You didn’t ask him to.
“Stay,” you said, as easy as breathing.
“Always,” he answered, and for once it wasn’t too much. It was exactly enough. 1️⃣0️⃣ Minghao: Minghao’s patience could stretch for miles, but when it frayed, it didn’t explode, it went quiet first.
It started small. You asked him what he wanted for dinner, and he shrugged without looking up from his book. You laughed at a video and held your phone up, and he smiled but didn’t lean in. The distance didn’t make a sound, but you felt it, like draft slipping under a door.
“Can we talk?” you asked, standing between him and the lamp.
He slid a ribbon into his book and set it on the coffee table. “We’re talking.”
“Not like this,” you said. “You barely text. You barely call. Sometimes I don’t even know if you want to be with me.”
His jaw worked once, a muscle ticking near his ear. “Just because I don’t message you every hour doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
“I’m not asking for every hour,” you said, trying to keep your voice even. “I just want to feel like I matter to you when we’re not in the same room.”
He leaned back, eyes cautious. “If you can’t tell by now, maybe you don’t understand me at all.”
You blinked. The bluntness stole the air from your lungs. “So what, you’re saying this is my fault?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what it sounds like.”
He rubbed his temple as if the conversation were a headache he’d been waiting for. “You’re exhausting me right now.”
The words landed clean and cold. “Okay,” you said, breath shaking. “Then maybe I should leave before I ‘exhaust’ you more.”
His gaze flicked to your coat by the door and back to you. He didn’t move. He didn’t stop you.
You laughed without humor. “Right. Message received.”
You shrugged into your coat, fingers clumsy at the zipper, and walked out. The hallway felt colder than it should. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
One week passed in a silence that wasn’t clean. You scrolled to his name, screen lighting your face at 2 a.m., then put the phone facedown like that could quiet your heartbeat. Pride held one hand, missing him held the other. They tugged you in opposite directions until your chest ached from the effort of just standing still.
You noticed the small things more in his absence: the way the radiator clicked before it warmed, the plant leaning toward the window because you forgot to turn it, the extra mug that stayed clean. You caught yourself setting aside a funny story from work, rehearsing how you’d tell it to him, and then remembered there was no call scheduled, no usual check-in. The space where he lived in your day went strangely echoey.
On the 7th evening, you took the long way home because walking felt easier than going back to the quiet. Snow had started, the flakes came down soft and disinterested. You wrapped your scarf tighter and climbed the stairs, keys ready, mind blank the way it gets when you’re tired of replaying the same scene.
He was leaning against your apartment door, a dark figure cut out against the pale hallway light. Snow dusted his hair and shoulders. His hands were tucked into his coat, like he’d been standing there long enough to forget he had fingers.
You stopped two steps away. “Minghao.”
He straightened, eyes searching your face with something that looked like relief and apology tangled together. “Hi.”
The word was so simple it made your throat tighten. “Hi.”
He exhaled, a cloud in the cold air. “I didn’t mean it,” he said, voice low but steady. “Any of it.”
You swallowed. The key bit into your palm. “Then why say it?”
He looked down at his shoes, then back up. Vulnerability edged his features the way winter edges a window. “Because I got scared,” he said. “I get scared. I feel like I bring some many downsides to the table that it feels scary when I am in the wrong…”
You stared at him, at the snow melting into the collar of his coat. “You haven’t made it worse by loving me,” you said. “You make it worse by shutting me out.”
“I know,” he said, shame softening his voice. “I know. I thought you understood the quiet parts of me. I thought you did, and when you said you didn’t feel like you mattered, I panicked. It felt like failing a test I didn’t know how to study for, and then I…” He broke off, swallowed. “I picked the worst words. I picked distance.”
“‘You’re exhausting me’,” you repeated, the phrase still lodged like a splinter.
He winced. “I hate that I said that. You don’t exhaust me. The fear does. The feeling like I’m always a step behind what you deserve.”
The honesty tilted something loose inside you. You took a breath that felt like it reached the bottom of your lungs. “I don’t need you to be perfect,” you said, softer. “I just need to know you’re with me even when I can’t see you. A message in the morning. A call when you have time. Tell me when you need space so I know it’s not me. Let me in.”
He nodded, quick and earnest. “Okay. Tell me how to show up the way you feel it. I wake up, I think of you, and then I think it’s too early to text. I finish rehearsal, I think of you, and then I tell myself you’re probably busy. I’ll stop telling myself your ‘probablys’ for you.”
A laugh caught in your chest, wet around the edges. “I don’t mind early. I mind not at all.”
“Right.” He stepped closer, careful as if approaching a skittish animal. “Also… when I shut down, I’m not leaving. It’s just how I learned to be when things got loud at home, go quiet, wait it out. It’s not about you. But I want to unlearn it for us.”
You nodded. “And I’ll try not to hear silence as goodbye. But you have to meet me halfway.”
“I will.” His eyes held yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop you. I wanted to. I told myself you needed space, and maybe I used that as an excuse because I didn’t know what to say.”
“You could’ve just said ‘Don’t go.’”
“Don’t go,” he said now, immediate, like a correction.
The words landed warm. You stepped forward so the hallway light pooled around both of you. “I won’t,” you said. “But next time, if we’re fighting, say you’re overwhelmed instead of pushing me away. And if I’m spiraling, I’ll tell you I’m scared instead of accusing you. Deal?”
He blew out a breath that fogged between you. “Thank you,” he said. “For still being here.”
You slid your fingers into his, and he closed his hand around yours, gentle, firm, like choosing. The chill of his skin was real and immediate, underneath it, a steadier heat.
“Come inside,” you murmured.
He nodded. Inside, in the doorway light, he paused. “One more thing,” he said. “Even when I push… stay. Or say you’re staying. I need to hear it.”
“I’m staying,” you said. “But you have to meet me halfway.”
“I know.” He touched your cheek, hesitant at first, then sure when you leaned into it. The kiss he gave you was slow, deliberate, a careful spelling-out of an apology he didn’t trust his language to hold. He pulled back just enough to breathe the same air as you.
“I’ll do better,” he murmured. “For us.”
“We’ll do better,” you corrected, and he smiled, small and relieved, the kind that folds at the edges of his eyes.
Later, when your coats were drying by the radiator and the snow stitched the city quieter, he reached for his phone and, without letting go of your hand, set an alarm. “For mornings,” he said. “To say good morning.”
“And for nights,” you said, your mouth curving. “To say good night.”
He nodded. “And for the in-betweens,” he added. “To say I’m still here.”
You squeezed his fingers. “I can work with that.” 1️⃣1️⃣ Seungkwan: Fights with Seungkwan were BIG. You both told the truth like it was a sport, no hedging, no filters. It was your strength because nothing went unsaid. It was your weakness because sometimes the truth landed like a punch.
It started stupidly, the way most big fights do. He was reenacting a story from practice, throwing his whole body into the details, voice climbing, hands flying. You grinned and nudged, “Okay, Broadway. Save some for opening night.”
He laughed, at first. “I know, I know. I’m extra.”
“Extra, dramatic, theatrical,” you added, piling it on. “All synonyms. Want me to get you a spotlight?”
His smile thinned. “Ha-ha.”
You tried to keep it playful. “I’ll stand in the back with cue cards. ‘Cry here. Gasp here.’”
Something in his eyes shuttered. “Why do you always make fun of me?” he blurted, voice sharper than the edge of the counter. “Do you know how it feels to never be taken seriously?”
You blinked. “What? Babe, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just teasing…”
“You always ‘just tease,’” he shot back, pacing now, running a palm over his face. “Everyone does. And maybe I’m tired of being the clown to you.”
The word lodged hard. “The clown?”
“That’s how it feels.” He exhaled, frustrated, but the momentum of anger kept him moving. “If the shoe fits.”
You went still. “So that’s all you think I see when I look at you? A joke?”
Silence dragged. He stared at the floor. “I don’t know,” he muttered. “Sometimes it feels that way.”
Your throat burned. “That’s not fair.”
“And ‘Broadway’? ‘Spotlight’?” he mimicked, a flat little laugh. “Real fair.”
“Seungkwan, I tease because you’re big. Because you fill the room. I love that about you.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t sound like love when you say it like a punchline.”
Something inside you gave up on the fight already. “Fine,” you said, voice going thin. “If that’s what you think, maybe I should go before I make another joke you hate.”
He stared, stubbornness flashing like a shield. “Do what you want.”
You grabbed your bag and left. The door clicked behind you, and the apartment swallowed the echo.
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The quiet after was loud in its own way. No lunchtime voice notes. No links to songs he insisted would “change your life for exactly three minutes and twenty-two seconds.” No selfies from the practice room mirror. You kept reaching for your phone and setting it back down, the habit of him still alive in your hands.
On the third night, just as you were convincing yourself you should apologize first, your phone buzzed.
‘I’m outside.’
You stood there, staring at the message, then you opened the door.
He was on your front step in a hoodie and sweats, eyes puffy, hair doing its own dramatic monologue. In his hands, a bouquet so chaotic it was almost beautiful, daisies, tulips, baby’s breath, something that looked suspiciously like a supermarket fern, all tied together with a ribbon that didn’t match anything.
“I panicked,” he blurted, thrusting it toward you. “I walked in and grabbed…whatever looked like you.”
You pressed your lips together. A laugh snuck out anyway. “Seungkwan.”
“I know.” He dropped his gaze, then lifted it again, earnest and shiny. “I’m your idiot. Can I talk?”
You stepped back to let him in. “Talk.”
He set the bouquet on the counter like it might shatter. “I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “For the shoe comment. For making you feel… disposable. I didn’t mean it. I was mad and messy and I said the thing I knew would hurt because I was hurting.”
Your chest tightened. “Don’t do that to me.”
“I won’t.” He tugged at his sleeve, nerves fidgeting through his fingers. “I know I’m a lot. On stage, with the guys, I’m always…on. Jokes, laughs, high energy. People expect it, sometimes I expect it from myself. But with you, I wanted to be off and still be…enough. And when you teased, it felt like…” He swallowed. “Like I was still ‘on’ even here.”
You leaned against the counter, the edge solid at your hip. “I forget,” you said quietly. “I forget you’re sensitive about that. I forget you carry the room so often that you get tired of carrying anything else.”
A corner of his mouth twitched. “You just called me sensitive.”
“I called you human.”
He huffed out a breath that wasn’t quite a laugh. “That’s better.”
You reached for him, fingers skimming his wrist. “I’m sorry. I tease because I adore you. But I don’t want my ‘adoring’ to sound like I’m poking holes in you. I’ll be more careful. I’ll…check the room before I make a joke. And if I miss, you tell me. Don’t throw the shoe at my head.”
He cracked, finally smiling for real. “No shoes. Only…notes.”
“Notes?”
“Like, ‘hey, babe, I’m fragile right now, please handle with two hands.’” He mimed a label with his fingers. “I’ll say that. Out loud. I won’t pretend I’m fine and then explode.”
“Deal.” You squeezed his wrist, then slid your hand to his. “And I won’t make you feel like a caricature. Even if you do look like a chaos florist.”
He glanced at the bouquet and groaned. “Don’t roast my taste at a vulnerable time.”
“Is it a roast if it’s accurate?”
“See? This is exactly…” He stopped, eyes warm. “Okay, that one was kind of funny.”
You stepped closer, until you could see the faint tremor in his lashes. “I didn’t like three days without you.”
“I hated it.” His voice dropped. “I kept drafting texts and deleting them because I didn’t want to be dramatic.” A beat. “Which is hilarious, because…me.”
“You can be dramatic,” you murmured. “Just don’t be mean.”
He nodded, serious. “I’m sorry I was. I want to be someone you lean on. Not someone you laugh at from a distance.”
“I don’t want distance,” you said. “I want you. Loud and quiet. On and off. All of it.”
His eyes glossed. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
“You already did,” you said, soft. “Hours ago. Your eyes told on you the second I opened the door.”
He laughed, wet and warm. “Come here.”
The kiss was clumsy in the way apologies are, eager, careful, a little desperate. He kept one hand on your cheek like you might evaporate if he let go. When you finally broke for air, your foreheads pressed, breaths tangled.
“You really are dramatic,” you whispered, lips brushing his.
He pouted. “Yeah, but you love me anyway.”
“I do.” You bumped his nose with yours. “Even when you buy fern.”
“It spoke to me,” he said solemnly. “It said, ‘I am quirky but dependable, like Seungkwan.’”
“It said, ‘please put me back and ask the florist for help,’” you countered, grinning.
He looked at you, all the way at you, no stage lights between. “Do you see me now?”
“I always did,” you said. “But I’ll show it better.”
“Okay.” He threaded your fingers together, exhaling a breath that left his shoulders looser. “Can we…start over? I’ll order takeout, you pick the movie, and if I start doing live commentary, you tap my knee twice.”
“And if I make a joke that bites, you lift the fern in warning.”
He laughed. “The Fern of Boundaries.”
“Perfect.” You squeezed his hand. “Start over.”
As he pulled out his phone to place the order, he glanced up with a shy, sideways smile. “For the record, I don’t mind ‘Broadway.’”
“No?”
“Not if it comes with front-row seats from you.” He leaned in, voice playful again, but gentled. “Just…don’t forget to clap when the curtain falls.”
You kissed his cheek. “I’ll be the one standing first.” 1️⃣2️⃣ Vernon: That night started small, dishwasher humming, rain sliding down the window, your words trying to find a place to land.
“It keeps happening,” you said, palms open on the counter. “I tell you something that bothers me, and you just…disappear while you’re still standing there.”
Vernon leaned back against the sink like he was bracing for a wave. The light over him was soft, turning his hoodie almost silver. He didn’t look at you. He didn’t look anywhere. You watched his shoulders go still in that way you’d come to know, the quiet retreat.
“Say something, Hansol.”
He blinked, mouth pressing flat.
“Hansol.”
Silence pooled between you, heavy and shapeless.
Your chest tightened. “Anything. Do you even care that I’m upset?”
The question cracked the stillness. He lifted his eyes, expression blank, voice carefully even. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
The words hit cold and clean. You swallowed. “I want you to say how you feel. Not the correct answer, not what sounds safe. Something real.”
His jaw ticked. “Maybe I don’t know how. Maybe I’m not what you need.”
Air left the room. “If you believe that,” you said, throat raw, “then maybe you’re right.”
You grabbed your jacket before the tears could form, the door heavier than it should’ve been. It thudded shut behind you, and the echo followed you down the stairs.
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Two nights stretched and snapped and stretched again. You made the bed tight, worked late, scrolled, tried not to look at your phone. You told yourself anger was simpler than hurt. It was a lie you almost managed to believe.
On the third night, your key stuck for a second in the downstairs door. You nudged it free and looked up.
He was there on your stoop, knees drawn up, hoodie you knew by smell, studio air and detergent, rolled at the wrists. Headphones sat around his neck like they always do.
He stood as you approached, then second-guessed it and sat back down, then stood again, awkwardly human in a way that cracked something tender in you.
“I didn’t know if you’d be home,” he said, voice rough from disuse. “I didn’t know if I should text, or call, or just…” He gestured to the step. “...be here.”
You held the rail, steadying yourself. “You could’ve started with ‘I’m sorry.’ That would’ve helped.”
He nodded, fast. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry I shut down. I’m sorry I made you feel alone in a room I was in. I’m…” He pushed a hand through his hair. “I suck at talking when it matters. The words just jam.”
A laugh scraped out of you, small and pained. “I don’t need you to think five steps ahead all of the time. I need…you. Even if it’s messy.”
“I know.” He slid the headphones off and turned them in his hands. “I tried to make a voice memo so I wouldn’t freeze. I recorded like…six versions. They were all bad.” He took a breath. “But I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to say this, I am so sorry Y/n.”
Something loosened in your chest. You stared at him, at the honesty sitting uncomfortably in his posture, and felt your anger shift its shape.
“Then say it when it matters,” you said softly. “Not after you’ve gone quiet and left me guessing.”
“I know,” he repeated, like the words hurt his mouth. He stepped closer, slow enough for you to step back if you needed. You didn’t. “I shut down because I’m scared I’ll say it wrong and break something. So I say nothing and break something anyway.”
“So try something different.” Your fingers tightened on the railing. “Tell me when you need a minute, but don’t disappear. Say, ‘I need ten minutes, but I’m not leaving this with you alone.’ Say, ‘I’m here.’” Your voice wobbled and steadied. “When you go quiet without telling me what’s happening, my brain turns it into, ‘I don’t matter.’”
His face changed at that, like the word “matter” hit him behind the ribs. “You matter,” he said immediately, and then again, firmer. “You matter. I’m…” He shook his head, frustrated with himself. “I don’t want you guessing. I want to be clear.”
“Then be clear,” you said. “Right now. Tell me what last time was.”
He exhaled, a long, careful breath. “Last time was me panicking. You were telling me something, and I felt like I was failing in real time. I started cataloguing ways to fix it instead of listening, and when I couldn’t fix it in my head, I shut down.” He met your eyes, scared and unsure. “I heard you. I just didn’t know how to show you I did.”
It was the most he’d said in one stretch in a while.
You nodded. “Thank you. Next time, tell me ‘I’m hearing you. I don’t have the words yet, but I’m here.’ Even that is something.”
He nodded back. “Okay. I can do that.” He hesitated. “I can also…ask questions? Like, ‘Do you want comfort or solutions?’ I read that somewhere.”
Despite yourself, you smiled. “That would be great. Usually, comfort first. Then we can fix things.”
His shoulders eased a fraction. “Comfort first,” he echoed, almost relieved to have a script. “Okay.”
For a moment you both stood there, held in the fragile warmth of a plan that felt small and monumental at the same time.
“I missed you,” he said suddenly, quiet and honest. “The pillow didn’t smell like you anymore and it made me mad at the pillow, which is stupid.” He looked briefly embarrassed. “I kept thinking of your face when you left. I don’t want to put that look there again.”
Your throat tightened. “I hated leaving.” You gestured at the steps. “I hated coming home and not seeing you. I kept checking the time because every hour without you felt longer than it was.”
He took one more step, close enough that you could see the pale half-moons his nails had left in his palm. “Can I hug you?” he asked, and the question did something kind to your heart.
You nodded. He folded around you, careful at first, then closer, like a held breath finally released. The hoodie was cool against your cheek, his hands were not.
“I will try,” he murmured against your hair. “I’ll mess it up sometimes, but I’ll tell you when I’m overwhelmed instead of disappearing. I’ll say I’m here. I’ll say it out loud.”
“Thank you,” you whispered. “I’ll try, too. I’ll tell you when I’m spiralling instead of assuming you can read it.”
He leaned back enough to see you, still holding on. “Deal.” A beat. “Also… I’m sorry, again.”
“I know.” You brushed your thumb over the edge of his mouth, where tension always collected. It softened under your touch. “I hear you.”
He dipped his head, paused, giving you room to refuse, and when you didn’t, he kissed you. Not a movie kiss, not a grand gesture, a real one, breath and heartbeat and the tremble of learning. You felt the apology in it, and the promise. You kissed him back like forgiveness didn’t have to be loud to be true.
1️⃣3️⃣ Chan: Fights with Chan usually started in the same place, the quiet, hot center of his need to prove himself. Most nights it simmered beneath the surface. That night, it boiled.
You found him in the practice room long after everyone had gone, the speakers humming with a looped beat, the mirror fogged at the corners. He was already on his third run, shirt clinging, breath coming short, jaw locked. You watched one more eight count, then you reached for the remote and thumbed the volume down.
“Chan,” you said, softer than the bass in the walls. “It’s past midnight.”
He bent at the waist, palms on his knees, refusing to look at you. “I know.”
“You don’t have to keep doing this to yourself.” You crossed the room, careful, like you were approaching a skittish animal. “You have already done enough.”
He blinked at your reflection instead of your face. “Easy for you to say.”
You tried to keep your voice level. “It’s not easy. It’s me saying I’m worried.”
He straightened and met your eyes with that stubborn fire you knew too well. “You don’t get it. I need to catch up with this tonight. If I slow down, I fall behind. If I fall behind, I…” he bit the rest off, frustrated with himself for saying so much.
“You won’t,” you said, gentle but certain. “You won’t fall behind because you sleep. You won’t disappear because you rest.”
He grabbed his water bottle without drinking. “I don’t need a lecture.”
“It’s not a lecture,” you said. “It’s me, loving you. It’s me seeing you swaying on your feet and asking you to take a break like everyone else is doing.”
His pride flinched like you’d used the wrong word. “Stop worrying about me, then.”
You blinked, stung. “Stop…worrying?”
His tone sharpened as he doubled down. “I don’t need you hovering and telling me when to breathe. I’ve heard it from coaches, from the other guys, from everyone. I can handle it.”
You felt the floor tilt, the music still pulsing like a heart you weren’t sure was yours or his. “Hovering.” You tasted the word, bitter. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
A flicker of regret flashed across his face, quick as a camera flash, there and gone under the same pride that always made him stay for one more run, one more set. “Maybe.”
Something in you cooled. Not anger so much as a door swinging shut on its own weight. “Okay,” you said, almost to yourself. “If that’s how it feels, then… maybe you should figure things out without me.”
You put the remote down like it was fragile, like the wrong pressure might shatter the room. You turned, walked toward the exit. He didn’t stop you, maybe the worst part. The door gave a clean, decisive slam that echoed down the hallway and back at him.
Behind it, he finally slumped, the beat still looping, an empty victory.
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A few days stretched long and thin. You slept badly, going through the motions with that fight replaying on a relentless loop, your voice too soft, his too sharp, the tiny pause where he could have reached for you and didn’t.
You didn’t block him. You didn’t call. You left the space where an apology might land.
On the following night, you came up the stairs to your building, grocery bag bumping your hip. The hallway light flickered once and steadied. He stood there by your door, hood up, hands shoved in his pockets, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the floor like a kid waiting to be called inside. His eyes were rimmed red, either from rehearsals or from the way regret eats sleep.
He straightened when he saw you. “Y/N,” he started, and his voice cracked on your name.
You set the bag down, keys held tight so they wouldn’t rattle. “Hey.”
“I was wrong,” he said quickly, as if he’d rehearsed the words until they would finally come out in the right order. “I didn’t mean, any of that. You weren’t hovering. You were… you were trying to help. And I…” He made a helpless shape with his hands. “I panicked.”
“About what?” Your voice was tired but not unkind.
He swallowed. “I’m scared.” The admission sat between you like a small, shivering thing. “I’m scared I’ll never be enough. That if I don’t push, I’ll be forgotten. That I’m always half a step behind, and the only way to shrink the distance is to grind until there’s nothing left. When you said I didn’t have to keep going, my brain turned it into ‘stop trying.’ I know that’s not what you meant. I know.” His eyes shone. “I took it out on you because you’re the safest person I have.”
The words poked every bruise you’d been nursing. You breathed in through your nose, out through your mouth. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel small, Chan. I was watching the person I love run himself into a wall and… I reached out. That’s all.”
He nodded like the movement itself hurt. “You never make me small.” He took a step forward, then another, hesitant, like you might vanish. “You make me feel like I can breathe. Like there’s a world beyond the next eight count.” His hand found yours, trembled, and stayed. “I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.”
For a second, the hallway didn’t feel so narrow. The hum of the building, the distant elevator, mundane sounds that grounded you. You squeezed his fingers. “Then let me worry sometimes. Not because I think you’re weak. Because I care. That’s what people do when they’re on the same team.”
He nodded again, faster this time. “Okay. Team.” He wet his lips. “Tell me how to be better at… this. At us.”
“Don’t bite when I touch the sore spot,” you said, managing the smallest smile. “Tell me what the fear is without turning it into a weapon. And if you want me to back off, say ‘I need a minute,’ not ‘stop worrying.’ That one felt like a shove.”
He flinched at the memory. “I’m sorry.” He tugged your hand to his chest, like he was trying to anchor both of you. “I’ll say ‘I need a minute.’ I’ll say ‘I’m scared.’ I’ll say the actual thing instead of… the sharp thing.”
“Good,” you said. “And I’ll ask how you want help instead of deciding for you. You tell me if you want me to listen, or to get your bag, or to drag you home. You get a vote.”
He huffed a damp, self-deprecating laugh. “Drag me home sounds nice. Especially before midnight.”
You tipped your head, teasing just enough to let the air back in. “Oh? Is that an admission?”
“It’s a plea,” he said. “And a promise.”
The space between you finally closed. He leaned in, and you met him halfway. The kiss was young and messy and a little desperate, the kind that tasted like apology and salt and late nights spent learning the hard way. He kissed you like he was trying to pour every untidy feeling into your mouth and hope it rearranged into something like honesty.
When you broke apart, his breath ghosted your lips. “I’m going to learn,” he whispered, like a vow meant for your ears only. “I’m going to be better at the parts that don’t happen in the mirror. Just… don’t leave me behind while I figure it out.”
You brushed your thumb over his cheekbone, swollen with the beginnings of a smile. “I couldn’t, even if I tried.”
He exhaled, a shaky sound that let some invisible rope unspool. “Can we…” He gestured to your door, sheepish now that the storm had cleared. “Can we go inside? Not to fix everything tonight. Just… to be.”
“Yeah,” you said, picking up your forgotten groceries. “Come on.”
boyfriend texts with seventeen!
prompt: asking seventeen “If we were seahorses, would you let me get you pregnant?”
charac! all members
genres! fake text, smau, crack, fluff
note! the moment i received this inbox i get to work IMMEDIATELY because of how unhinged it was 😭 thank you for requesting!
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MDNI | 18+
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you visit s.coups on set of a mv and he takes you into his dressing room for his "lunch break"
minguu is obsessed with your boobs, like obsessed
dokyeom got back from a run and saw you all dressed up for him and couldn’t wait any longer to get his hands on you
jun likes it when you take the lead, and this morning was no exception
minghao knows exactly how you like it
seungkwans favorite
wonwoo wants you as close as possible
SVT being relatable (tag yourself below!)




