#aa journal

[coldbunny]

1 whole fucking year

I spent a whole year being sober. It’s a confusing day. I want to celebrate and I want to cry and mourn.

I’m healthier? I think so.

I eat better? Definitely.

I sleep better? Not really.

My brain fog is gone? Hell no.

I have more energy? Sometimes.

My relationships are better? Most of them.

I’m happier? Sometimes.

I always heard other people say that being sober brings all this happiness and their problems go away. Everyone forgets to tell you that it actually takes a whole lot of work to get that happiness and that those problems only go away if you work on solutions for them.

I’m hopeful for the future. But I still got a lot of work to do.

[coldbunny]

Sometimes I miss the toxic traits and self-hating behavior.

But that’s just the addict in me trying to convince me that I don’t deserve better.

[coldbunny]

January 27

The night I got a DUI.

[coldbunny]

I really miss going to bars.

IWNDWYT

[coldbunny]

March 26

The day I called the suicide hotline 3 times. 

[coldbunny]

May 4

The night I made him cry. 

[coldbunny]

May 9

The night I broke my ankle. 

[coldbunny]

July 15

The night my dad and I got into a drunken fight and my mom had to break us up.