(Yet another reason why having a child with the WRONG person can be the worst decision you can make in your life, because whilst you may not regret your child, you may regret the circumstances around the birth of the child due to the toxicity of the relationship with the other parent.)//
I don't want to sound like a conservative but in all honesty, situations like this make me understand why they say not to have sex before marriage. Max never wanted to marry Kelly in these 4 years no matter what she tried. If he wasn't willing to marry her then it means that he never wanted to be tied and committed to her in this way. But if you only have sex with that person then you risk to be tied to them in a much worse way. Having a child with her means that he will never be able to get rid of her for the rest of his life. People think that having a marriage like relationship before marriage then they would be on the safe side and don't risk losing their freedom or resources. But by having sex outside of marriage you risk to have a child with someone that you didn't even wanted to marry let alone spend the rest of your life with. Max could have realized that this relationship doesn't go anywhere when he knew he never wanted to marry her. He could have dumped her when he knew she isn't marriage material because that means he doesn't want to be committed to her legally.
Not trying to shame anybody. The situation with Max and Kelly just made me look at things differently. I really don't want a relationship like this to ever find me and I would do anything to avoid it!
Hi anon, honestly, you don’t need to worry about how it sounds — at least to me, it sounds like plain common sense. I completely get that seeing situations like this makes you reflect, and of course everyone processes these things through their own values, lifestyle, culture, and so on. But really, your words come across as thoughtful and reasonable, and very clear.
And anyway, everyone’s entitled to their own perspective — so don’t worry about how you might sound or whether you’ll be judged for it. Personally, I think what you said just shows balance and clarity.
And make me think & reflect 😊
This is a saga, not a statement.