đťâđ (How long have you been writing fan fiction? What part about writing do you struggle with the most? How is your current WIP going, and can we have a sneak peek?)
đť - how long have you been writing fanfiction?
I started writing in the summer of 2020, but it took me until october of the same year to feel comfortable enough in my writing to post it.
âď¸ - what part about writing do you struggle with the most?
can I say the writing part? lol. I do great with brainstorming and worldbuilding and outlining but when it comes to filling out the outline and actually fleshing out the story,,, I get stuck and procrastinate it lol.
đ - how is your current wip going, and can we have a sneak peek?
I have...so many wips. We'll go with my two multichaps because I want to reignite my brainrot for them! (if you can't tell they've been kinda put on a hold rn because of burning)
after all these years, a quote from the upcoming chapter 5
Carmen approached Juliaâs office nervously for the second time in a single week, knocking this time instead of letting herself in. She figured that she wouldnât score any points with Julia by sneaking in and pissing her off.
Julia opened the door after only a short pause, surprise flickering across her face when she saw the ex-thief. âCarmen.â Her surprise turned to seriousness. She peered into the hallway behind Carmen. âYou were supposed to be back in Argentina...what happened?â
Carmen chuckled nervously. âWell, uh, VILE. The breakouts must have been planned by someone because Player picked up chatter about a heist.â
Julia peered into the hallway behind Carmen, her agent instincts kicking in. âCome in.â
the wolfe heiress, a quote from the upcoming chapter 2
âWhat about the men your father sends you on dates with?â
âThose idiots?â Carmen snorted. âThey make me sick.â
âAll of them?â Julia pressed, although she didn't know exactly why she cared. This was her employer. Â âThere wasn't one you liked?â
Carmen gave her a lopsided, half smile, remembering. âI guess there was one. Graham.â
Hi! I was just listing my favourite fics to someone and realized that two out of my all time favourites were written by you. Thought I will let you know how much I enjoy your work. :) The fics I have in mind are "After All These Years" and "Shot Through The Heart". Have a great day!
Aw dammit, thank you so much, you just made my frigging day!!
Iâm super happy youâre enjoying my writing that much!!
you already know what the fuck is going on; talk to me about after all these years!!!!!!!
After All These Years started as a prompt from @i-am-my-opheliac who asked for something in the If It Happen Now series - This is where I write fics where they get together later on/now as opposed to in 09.Â
It was supposed to be a one-shot like all those are, but of course as happens all too often, it got out of hand.Â
I was also writing another fic at the same time where I wanted to essentially do a getting together slow burn but didnât really know where it was going. That fic started with what is now Chapter 11 of AATY, with Philâs family being like âwe always thought youâd get together eventuallyâ.Â
Except, I realised that I was actually only writing one fic, not two. So I combined them.Â
Then I did the outline, and as I shared it for IAW, Iâll share it for this one too (or at least a bit of if so no spoilers):
This is how I outline, I do it in another doc most of the time (or on the bottom of the one Iâm writing in) and I strike it out as Iâve done it. Sometimes Iâll do it all in the same doc, and make what isnât written yet a different colour and deleted as i go, but it depends on the structure of the fic and how Iâm feeling at the time. AATY was a separate doc.
I planned it all JUST as tour was finishing, and they kept doing things to mess up my timeline, so in the end I was just like fuck it,this all happens in an AU AU where none of those things happened. (hence why I donât mention dapg dying, because in my au I can do what I want)
Anyway I love this fic, itâs just fluffy and happy and nothing hurts (okay, maybe a little bit hurts) and we only have about 4 or 5 chapters to go.Â
Maybe itâs a bit of a ridiculous premise, and god knows itâs not the best written bedsharing fic out there, but itâs mine and I love it.
It had been five years since Yondu had died, but somehow Stakar and his group had managed to get Yondu back from the dead, they used some technologies, arcane arts, and their timeline and time travel knowledge.
Yondu's body was sent to the place that had most of his 'remains', that is, it was a kind of tombstone that Peter had made to visit Yondu on his birthdays, and today was Yondu's birthday.
Yondu was simply transported to this strange place, he saw Peter talking to a stone, but Yondu didnât know who Peter was, didnât know where he was, only one thing Yondu knew, and that was he was confused and had an unidentified alien near him , that is, Yondu's instincts exploded.
Almost A Thousand Years - Killahead, Part 2 | Hisirdoux Casperan
Plot: Â Youâve known Hisirdoux Casperan for almost a thousand years. Â Youâve hated him for almost a thousand years. Â And for almost a thousand years, youâve been cursed to feel each others pain. Â But somewhere in that time, things changed. Â [Hisirdoux Casperan x Mostly Gender Neutral but Probably Female Presenting Based on How Historical Men Treat Them!Reader]
Word Count: Â 5,258
Warnings: B A T T L EÂ
A/N:  HAPPY HOLIDAYS KIDS!!!!! also, i swear to god this was written a month ago, before aaron confirmed the skulls and wizards thing
It was about as surreal as you thought it would be.
As a child you were trained to fight; to stab, to slice, to claw, and to bleed. Â You were taught that humans were the root of all evil and that the Gumm-Gumms would one day take what was theirs. Â Now you were fighting with the humans, the evil, the oppressors, against what had been your home, your people.
And it was going surprisingly well. Â It turns out having insider knowledge is very helpful on the battlefield. Â You were able to block everything they threw at you, to dodge and weave through their attacks and land some pretty good hits of your own. Â Douxie had your back, of course, blue light striking down as many opponents as it could take. Â In return, you took out anything that even threatened to get too close.
It was going well.  But it didnât last.
âWHERE IS THE WITCH SPY?â
âOh no.â
â(Y/N), stay behind me,â Douxieâs voice was a dull hum against the roar around you, and of course, the screaming troll in front of you.
âJOIN YOUR BROTHERS AGAINST THIS PATHETIC ARMY!!â
âOh god.â
Douxie noticed the fact that you werenât even close to listening to him and took action, moving in front of you, striking any Gumm-Gumm soldier who even looked your way.
âRETURN HOME (Y/N) (L/N)!â
So, that was it. Â That was what had kept you in the dark as a traitor for at least a hundred years. Â The very sentence that made you avoid Britain with all your strength. Â The thing that drove a wedge between you and the man you now loved.
Four words were all it took.
â(Y/N)?? Â (Y/N), love, please, answer me!â
You jerked your head, snapping back to reality. Â No matter what events were relevant to your personal history, there was still a battle going on. Â You had to keep fighting. Â You struck down another few Gumm-Gumms just as Douxie used some of Archieâs fire to dispose of another, another few.
âHa, I've always hated those twits!â
âValid!â you cried as you ducked under an opponentâs strike. Â You took out their knees, rising again, just in time to see Morgana descend from a sky wormhole. Â Just what you needed.
âNight has already fallen.â
âOh, really? Â Couldnât tell.â
Douxie rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, but you could see the grin on his face.  That boy loved you and all of your shenanigans.  You were shaken from your thoughts, however, when Morgana started firing spells into the crowd, yeeting her magic around with reckless abandon. Â
âMorganaâs returned! Â Sheâs enemy number one!â
âGo!â Jim yelled, âWeâll hold the bridge!â
âHisirdoux, with me!  I-You!â oh no, he was talking to you, âI take you in as my apprentice, spare your life from the sword, and this is how you-â
âMaster, they didnât have a choice!â Â Douxie grabbed your hand, pulling you behind him as if to shield you from Merlinâs wrath, âIt was a matter of survival!â
âSurvival! Â What-â
âPlease, Master, let them help. Â If we leave them here, any of the nights might try to attack them!â
âAnd why should that matter! Â They are a traitor, are they not? Â Death on the battlefield is more merciful than anything they might receive after the battle is won.â
âI wonât let anything happen to them,â Â Douxieâs voice was calm, but you could hear the anger behind it, â(Y/N) has proved their loyalty to me hundreds of times. Theyâre more than capable and I trust them with my life.â
You broke from your reverie, eyes painted with concern. Â How could he trust you so easily? Â Why did he, even after everything that had happened? Â This shouldnât have come as such a shock to you. Â He did love you, after all, and yet, you still found yourself surprised by this revelation. Â You couldnât help the hesitant smile that crept onto your face as you squeezed his hand slightly. Â He really did love you, didnât he?
Merlin grumbled something, probably regretting that binding spell right about now, before motioning for you to follow him.
You cast a wave back to the kids, a silent wish for their luck, before you ran after Merlin, your hand still entwined with Douxieâs. Â He didnât let go until you reached a small group of ruins, at which point you, your wizard and the old man stood, backs facing each other, all of you peered out into the darkness. Â Archie flew above you, dragon eyes finding nothing out of the ordinary. Â Not yet, anyway. Â You kept your sword out in front of you, and you could tell that Douxie was doing the same with his brace. Â You had no idea what Merlin was doing, but you never did, so that wasnât a big deal.
âI feel dark magic.â
âIt means sheâs close.â
You and the familiar both gasped as something ran through the trees. Â A chill made its way into the woods, surrounding you and raising goosebumps on your skin. Â You felt your heart begin to race as strange echoes continued to ring out through the air. Â They soon morphed from a collection of noises into a laugh-Â Morganaâs.
âAn old man, a foolish boy, and a traitor; lost as always.â
Your small group moved slightly, scanning the forest for any sign of the sorceress. Â You could feel her presence, but there was nothing there.
âDo you dare run⌠or face my vengeance?â
Oh. Â There she was.
âUm, is there a third option?â Â Archie asked, sounding much too calm for the situation at hand. Â You couldnât blame him though, you would have done the same. Â But you werenât doing the same. Â You were looking over your shoulder just as a collection of roots shot out at you. Â Thanks to your little turn, you had an advantage, cutting the offending plant parts before they could get to you. Â Douxie and Merlin, however, were not so lucky. Â The latter was pulled to the ground and stabbed through the shoulder with a particularly sharp root. Â He barked out an order for Hisirdoux to run, which he could not do because of the roots clinging to his shoulders. Â You used your sword on what you could, and a blast of green energy from Merlin took out the rest. Â A little anticlimactic if you ask me.
Despite your escape, Morgana cackled, even as Douxie fired spell after spell at her with little success. Â While he made his attempt, you helped Merlin to a standing position, a task that became easier when Douxie rejoined you at the old wizardâs other side.
âMerlin, youâre injured!  Badly⌠ (Y/N), is there anything-â
âHisirdoux, if I should fall this dayâŚâ
Merlin handed his former apprentice a scroll, one which was covered with notes and instructions about building a tomb, and the heart of Avalon. Â Your brows furrowed as you read over Douxieâs shoulder. Â That wasnât ominous at all.
âWhy are you giving us this?â
âForeseeing the future means preparing for the worst of it,â he glared at you for a moment, and you wondered what exactly he could see. Â He clearly hadnât seen your act of treason coming, but there were other things that made you wonder. Â Your thoughts were interrupted by more ominous Merlin content, âThat includes your wounded friend.â
âJim? Â What about him?â
âThe corruption in his heart has no cure. Â When he returns to the future, it will overtake him.â
Oh.  Oh. Â
Oh no.
Youâd had your suspicions, but hearing it from the master wizard himself brought it to another level of reality.  There was no cure.  There was no solution.  You were going to go home, and you were going to kill Douxie.  Or youâd try to, at the very least.  Maybe, now that Douxie was a master wizard himself, he could do you both a kindness and kill you where you stood. Â
âŚ
Yeah, no. Â He wouldnât be doing that anytime soon, but a witch could dream! Â You feel his hand on your back, a gesture meant to comfort you that only made you sick. Â How he still cared about you, even after all of this would confuse you for years to come. Â For now, though, you just accepted it. Â There wasnât time for much else with an evil sorceress on the prowl.
âNo, no there must be some other way! Â I made a promise to them, to Claire, to get them home alive, all of them!â
âYet, to save time itself, you all must return home, even if it means James Lake will be no more.â
That wasnât exactly a pleasant thought. Â While a distance stemming from your past had momentarily sprung up between you and the kids, the gap between you had since closed. Â You loved those little monsters like they were your siblings, and youâd do anything for them. Â The thought that Jim would have to die, to make another sacrifice when heâd already given up so much, was just another thing that killed you inside.
âAnd thereâs no other solution?â you tried to keep quiet despite the rage that boiled inside you, not at anyone in particular, but at the situation as a whole, âThereâs no way to fix this that doesnât get Jim killed?â
Merlin shook his head, but you didnât need that confirmation. Â You already knew the answer.
âSuch is the burden of a wizard,â the old one spoke as your small group made its way deeper into the night, âTo make the hard choices mortals cannot,â he grunted, slouching forward slightly, reminding you that you should really take a look at that stab wound at some point. Â Merlin, however, paid no real mind to this, instead, continuing his little monologue, âNow it is yours to bear.â
You looked away from your wizard companions to see a giant skull, lodged between a rock and⌠well, another rock.  Some may call it a canyon, you called it fucking ominous and terrifying.  The skull was lit from within, orange light seeping through the space where eyes had once stared out into the world.  You wondered, for a moment, how these old bones had ended up here, and how they had stayed.  What was the last thing this being saw?  Was it the sky above, or the ground below?  What could kill something as large as this?  You didnât ask your questions.  It didnât seem like the right time. Â
And really, it wasnât time for anything other than nerves and anxiety. Â Without a word, you followed Merlin across the rocks until he stood in front of the skull, on top of an odd sort of contraption. Â You stood a few steps behind, safely off the weird cage thing.
âMorgana, reveal thyself!â
Before you could question the logistics of giving yourselves away, a portal, ringed with gold and made of shadows appeared, releasing the queen of the apocalypse onto another rock. Â Yep, that sure was an evil sorceress. Â Just what you needed at this time of night.
âLook what has wandered into my web,â nice starting point. Â Threatening, but not over the top. Â You cast your sarcastic thoughts aside for the moment, as valid as they were, preparing yourself instead, for a fight.
âThese are dark powers you medal with, Morgana. Â Who granted them? Â Who resurrected you from death?â
âWizards beyond your ken,â ah shit. Â Just as you suspected. Â âWizards beyond your ken,â was mysterious witch for âThe Arcane Order.â
And then she was gone again. Â Dope.
âSo, uh⌠we should head into the big skull of doom?â you asked, eyebrows knit together in a mix of concern and confusion.
âYep, letâs go.â  You and Douxie nodded at each other before helping Merlin scale the rocks and get into the skull, asking Archie to stand watch for a moment, just to secure his safety.  He agreed only once youâd promised to call him if things got rough. Â
Inside of the first skull, you found a second, slightly smaller skull.  What the hell was it with magic dudes and skulls, huh?  Morgana had this as her lair, the Arcane Orderâs ship was a skull, Douxie had his whole vibe and Merlin kept skulls in his office.  Shit, even you kept bones around, though you were a doctor and arguably had the best excuse.  Your thoughts ran wild as you examined the space around you, but they were interrupted by the reappearance of your least favourite murder-witch.
âMorgana!â
The two wizards prepared for battle, but you hesitated. Â Something was wrong here. Â Morgana was crying, no-sobbing. Â You recognized this, whatever this was. Â Youâd seen it in yourself back in the 1300s. Â Yep, something was wrong alright, and judging by this, someone was probably dead.
âItâs your fault!â She cried, âYouâre the reason Arthur is gone!âÂ
Oh, so you were right. Â That didnât really explain how Arthurâs blood was on your hands though.
âWhat?â
âGone?â
âUh, guys? Â It kinda sounds like the King is dead.â
Your companions had no time to respond as Morgana rose through the air, seeking misplaced revenge instead of proper justice. Â She fired a spell at the three of you, which Douxie ran to shield you from. Â Merlin joined him a second later, limping towards the younger wizard with your help. Â The second he stood on his own, your magic joined theirs.
âSheâs too powerful! Â We have no choice but to seal her away!â
âI know. Â Iâll try to buy some ti-â
Douxie was cut off when Merlin knocked you both clear across the room and out of the way of another spell, one which left the old wizard in chains.
You felt the impact that Douxie suffered and you were sure he felt yours. Â Nevertheless, the two of you pulled yourselves up just as Morgana started on another speech.
âOh, shame!  Little Douxie finally gets his staff, just in time to die with it!âÂ
She aimed her next attack at him, but you interfered, knocking her away with a shield made of your magic. Â
âAnd you! Â Traitorous little wretch!â Â you werenât exactly sure which treason she was talking about or who she learned it from. Â Youâd betrayed a lot of people over the years, sheâd have to be more specific, âWhy do you still fight alongside them?!â
You knocked away another attack before answering, âThe shorter one is cute!â Â With that, you went on the offensive, landing a kick to Morganaâs stomach and striking her again with the butt of your sword. Â Your small victory didnât last long though, as she struck back, the impact slamming you into the opposite wall and probably cracking a few of your ribs. Â Youâd have to apologize to Douxie for that one.
Morgana scoffed at you, looking down at your crumpled figure as you struggled to stand, âOnly a fool would fight for love!âÂ
Her voice may have contained a little more rage than was necessary, and she may have been projecting a little bit, but she didnât have time to say anything else. Â Douxie handed a few hits with his staff, using surprise to his advantage, and holding up surprisingly well despite the pain you both were in. Â Morgana turned her taunting onto Douxie, mocking him as they fought.
âYou canât even wield it!â you winced as she landed a hit, âYou should stick to your usual tricks.â
You bit your lip as she struck him in the face- twice. Â This really wasnât a great day for either of you, was it?
âUse the power of your staff! Â Make it your own!â
âPlease, Douxie.â  Your voice was quiet, and there was almost no way he heard it.  Hell, you werenât even sure what you were asking for, but in the next second, his staff turned into a fucking guitar so that was probably it if you had to guess.  Or maybe it was the next second when he avenged you by smacking Morgana in the face with said guitar, sending her flying across the room.  You knew that as a doctor you shouldnât hope for someone to crack a rib, but this was an exception you were willing to make.
âWhat?!â
âBABE! Â THAT WAS HOT!!â you yelled, too shocked to say much else.
âBleeding balroths! Â This is nuclear!â your wizard said, spinning the staff around.
You couldnât help but laugh at that as you pulled yourself up from the ground.  Of all the things Douxie had ever said and done in his life, that had to be the Douxie-est.
âDid you just strike me with a-a lute?!â
âUh-uh-uh-uh. Â No, uh-uh. Â Spellcaster guitar, darling.â
You werenât exactly sure what the fuck he just said, but you were 110% there for it. Â He played a lilâ riff on his staff, and you had a very brief mental debate on whether or not that took the throne for the Douxie-est thing heâd ever done.
âNeeds tuning though.â Â He continued to play the riff for a solid minute, and you werenât sure what was funnier. Â The fact that this was, in fact, something that was happening, or how Done Merlin looked with literally everything at that moment. Â It was both. Â Both was good.
âI meant make it your own weapon!â
Douxie finished playing just in time to shield himself from another of Morganaâs attacks, âWell, this is technically an âaxe!â Â
âYou are a huge geek!â
âAnd you love it!â your wizard yelled, playing again while running from Morgana, looking for an opening while avoiding a volley of spells.  He was right.  You did love it.  Thatâs why you were going to help at the next opportunity, your (and technically his) poor ribs be damned. Â
âHisirdoux! Â This is no time for dreadful music!â
âDreadful?â
âAbsolutely infernal.â
âI mean, I thought it was good!â Â you yelled, launching your own round of spells at Morgana, making it harder for her to land a hit on Douxie.
âNo worries, this is just the opening track!â
âWhat do you hope to do? Â Blow out our eardrums?â
âWell, pardon me if this rock is too freakinâ awesome for your medieval sensibilities!â Â Â You had no idea how he did it, but he managed to land on one of the light fixtures (of all things) while you werenât looking. Â You couldnât really see him from where you were, but you were almost certain that he was doing the sign of horns and sticking out his tongue.
âEnough of your noise!â Â Morgana cried, blasting you to the side quickly before returning to her real fight. Â You were lucky that this blast was not as strong as her first. Â You were able to roll out of it without causing any real damage, a benefit to both you and Douxie. Â Speaking of, your wizard found himself locked in a Harry Potter-style duel, two magics facing off against one another in a single stream. Â It was not looking too good for your boi though. Â He seemed to notice this, and jumped from the light and returned to physical combat on the ground. Â Unfortunately, that did not end well either, and you bit back a cry as Douxie was thrown through the room. Â Yeah, things were looking rough. Â Time to call in the cat calvary.Â
You swore you were only gone for a moment, but in that time, Douxie managed to get himself pinned against a wall.
âDo not fret, Merlin. Â Youâll find a new apprentice to replace him. Â Are people not dispensable, after all?â
âOk, go, go now!â Â you whispered to Archie, your tone intense, which was fair considering the situation. Â The familiar did as told and flew at the witch, sending her fling off balance and keeping her away from Douxie. Â Arch did a quick loop near Merlin, tossing the wizard his staff before circling around to land on Douxieâs shoulder. Â Merlin and Morgana began their fight as you ran to your wizard and his familiar.
âNice work my dudes, you think you can keep it up?â
âProbably! Â Arch, light me!â Â you liked the sound of that. You liked the sight of it even more as blue flames encircled Morgana, trapping her, and allowing Douxie and Archie to make their final attack, keeping the sorceress in place.
âHurry, I canât hold her that long!â
âDonât worry, weâve got this,â you said, voice quiet as you threw your own spell at the witch from below.  Hopefully, that would make things a little easier.  It did.  Douxie was grateful. Â
âYou have lost yourself, Morgana!  Bound to dark magic.  I have no choice but to seal you away!  Sigilia infractum!â
It seemed to work for a second, but then, for like, the third (?) time in that battle you were blasted back, Douxie fell with you and hit the ground harder. Â
âMan, this sucks,â you whispered as you pulled yourselves up, going to Merlinâs aid.
âMaster!â
âSheâs too powerful,â he groaned, âYou have to finish this, together.â
âWe can do that⌠we can do that!  Letâs go!â
You and Douxie moved in sync, matching each otherâs movements exactly. Â Using his staff, Douxieâs blue magic replaced Merlinâs green while yours froze the witch again, keeping her from attacking you.
âSigilia infractum causera!â
Finally, the blast from the spell did not hurt you, instead, it did as it was supposed to, trapping Morgana. Â You let your own spell ease up, instead, lending whatever strength you could to Douxie, God knows he would need it.
âI will destroy you all! Â No matter what it takes, no matter where you go, I will end all that you love until you feel my agony!â
âYeah, you arenât the first person to threaten that! Â Come up with something original, then weâll talk.â
The witch roared and threw a spell in your direction, but it disappeared into a shadow edged with purple.
âHey! Â Hands off my teachers!â
Oh, Claire! Â Claire had found you somehow, that was good.
âI swear on all your lives, I shall rise again!â
âAlready seen it,â the girl cried, throwing some much-deserved sass Morgana's way, âYou donât win. Â See you in 900 years!â
And with that, the spell was complete. Â Claire opened another portal, dragging Morgana into it. Â With that big historical event over, your adrenaline failed you and you staggered forward. Â That was pretty convenient considering it let you catch Douxie, who was doing much worse than you were. Â You noticed his eyes rolling back slightly, which was a cause for some alarm.
âHey, heyheyheyheyhey, stay with us, you nerd, donât pass out on me,â you werenât sure you could handle the stress if he did.
âDouxie! Â Are you okay?!â Â Archie and Claire moved in, the former knocking Douxie back and licking his face relentlessly.
âUgh! Â Thatâs-thatâs disgusting!â
You and Claire both laughed at this, glad that at least this part of the fight was finally over. Â Douxie stole a glance at you and wondered if he had somehow died during the battle. Â How else could there be an angel before him?
âWell,â he turned his gaze from your smile to Claire with only minor difficulties, âI think we just saved history.â
You sat back, all fears forgotten for now in a moment of relief and elation as you watched your boyfriend give the girl a high-five.
âAnd you took down a ninth-level sorceress.â
âDamn right,â you giggled, which was new, but not unwelcome. Â You turned to Douxie, âSharp work, samurai.â Â Your friends rolled their eyes at your antics, though they did it out of love.
The excitement calmed for a moment, allowing Archie to speak, âMerlin would be proud.â
âYeah, if he wasnât out cold.â
âI mean, itâs not a great look for him, but full transparency? Â I could probably take a three-hundred-year nap right now.â
Douxie laughed, but he wrapped a hand around yours and whispered, âPlease donât.â
You squeezed his hand, a silent promise that you would not answer your problems with sleep. Â Not today, anyway. Â To be completely honest, the problem immediately at hand could be solved rather quickly, by you, at least.
âAnyway, Merlinâs still been stabbed, so Iâll just-â
Fortunately, this was just a stab wound. Â No magic, no tricks, no possession, just medicine. Â That was what you knew, it was what you could deal with. Â It was over too quickly. Â Was that a thing you could say? Â Could you wish for medical treatment to last longer? Â Was that something you could do? Â Not to mention that he was your boyfriendâs surrogate dad, which just made things complicated. Â Either way, it was over too fast. Â You returned to Camelot, mourned the dead, said your goodbyes, and that was it. Â Time was up. Â You had to go home.
Home. Â What even was home now? Â You knew the answer. Â Home was Douxie. Â Wherever he was, you wanted to be. Â He made you feel safe, feel loved, feel every good thing that humans are supposed to feel, but- Â To save the world, to save his life, you would have to leave him. Â There was no other choice, either you stayed in the past and everyone died, or you went back to the future and risked his life by staying with him. Â You had to go. Â As soon as you got back, youâd have to run. Â You didnât know where, to-to Spain, or Japan, or Cuba, Vietnam, Egypt, France, somewhere, anywhere, just to keep him safe. Â You didnât want to do it. Â You just wanted to stay by his side, forever, if possible. Â But that was the thing. Â It wasnât possible. Â And that broke your heart.
And if possible, these gosh darn kids were going to break you even more.
âEverybody, ready yourselves. Â We donât have much time. Â Iâll dial us in for when we left.â
âBut whatâs gonna happen when we get there? Â The danger we escaped, itâll be waiting for us. Â And Jimâs still hurt.â
You bit your lip as you and Douxie approached Jim and Claire. You really didnât want to be the one who had to say this.  You didnât want to be around when she heard the news.  Shit, you didnât even want it to be news. You just wanted your kids to be happy, and to not kill your boyfriend, and to live for once.  Maybe fate just didnât like you.
âClaire, about that⌠ Jim is-â
âReady to face the inevitable,â Jim held out a hand to stop you.
âJim, are you sure?â Douxie asked while you maintained your silence. Â You were pretty sure if you said anything youâd lose your composure.Â
âJim?â  Oh God, and now Claire was going to find out how screwed you still were.  This was gonna suck.
âClaire, the shard in- Â There is no cure. Â Thatâs what Merlin told me earlier.â
You winced at the horror on the young girlâs face. Â She didnât deserve this. Â Neither of them did.
âThatâs crazy! Â We can find something! Â Iâll learn a spell, we can stay here!â
âIf we donât all go back right now, the future wonât exist. Â What kind of hero would I be if I sacrificed everyone else? Â Not to be ironic, but weâre out of time.â
âNo! Â Douxie, (Y/N), tell him! Â We can fix this! Â You can fix this!â
You brought your hand up to hide your eyes from the sorceress. Â She was right, you should have been able to fix this, and tears wouldnât solve anything. Â Your only solution was running away, and Jim- Â oh God, Jim. Â See, it was things like this that made you start drinking in the twenties.
âIâm sorry, Claire. Â Heâs right. Â We must go back now, but when we do, weâll find a way to reverse this,â Â he stole a glance back at you, and your distraught state only drove him further. Â He had to do this, to fix things when you got home. Â He owed all of you that much, âI promised I would return you home, and I am, but the portal can only stay open for a few moments. Â This is our one shot. Â Trust me.â
A moment later, he joined you at the base of the ship before taking your hand and leading you onto it.
âWeâll fix this,â he promised, his voice low so only you could hear, âTogether. Â Weâll go home to the future, and weâll fix this, and then-â your eyes met his as he paused, âAnd then, maybe, we could start our future.â
Despite the tears that threatened to fall, you smiled ever so slightly, âWeâll build a new one if we have to.â
It wasnât until his lips met yours that you started crying.  It wasnât his fault it was just- fuck you would miss this.  You smiled again as you pulled apart, though the tears hadnât stopped.  It was for his sake, really.  Under normal circumstances, you might pretend that everything was fine, but for just one second, you wanted to believe it.
âI love you,â Â your voice shook, and you hated it.
âI love you, too,â Â his voice was strong, yet tired. Â And you loved it.
You pushed a small smile onto your face, trying to cast the illusion that you were okay, and that everything was okay, and that no one would die when you returned. Â Your attempts were quickly halted by a sting on your cheek. Â That came from him, you realized, as you noticed a thin cut that ran across his cheekbone. Â You ran your thumb over it, his skin patching together and healing under your hand. Â At least you could still do that one thing. Â Sure, you were a traitorous assassin, but by god could you heal a small cut.
Douxie smiled, his grin seeming more natural than yours. Â He kissed you one last time before letting you go and taking the time map. Â You watched him, not saying a word as he said something under his breath and activated the map and the heart. Â A beam of light lit the night sky green, going on for a moment until it formed a portal. Â You could almost see your time on the other side. That was it. Â That was how you would get back to the future. Â Yay.
It was weird. Â Youâd known Douxie for so long, and hated him for most of that time, but now? Â Now you were dreading going back to your time, going back to general safety because it meant that he would die. Â It was just odd to think that there was a time where you would have wished for this, for a chance to kill him and avoid the blame. Â If you wished for anything now, it would be another way out.
You followed Douxie onto Merlinâs airship and walked past him, standing as far away as you could. Â You didnât know what would happen when you crossed that barrier. Â You might try to murder him instantly, you might be able to control yourself, you might be able to fight off your curse entirely. Â The point is, you didnât know, and distance was the best solution. Â So, you stood alone and stared off into the night as the ship moved off towards the portal until Steveâs ramblings returned your attention to your friends.
âMan, Camelot was crazy! Â Why donât they ever talk about that in the history books?â
Douxie gave the blond kid a pat on the shoulder, and you watched as Steve headed towards the front of the ship where Jim and Claire stood. Â The girl was looking back towards you, but you couldnât meet her eyes. Â Her boyfriend was doomed, and there was nothing you could do about it. Â And you would have done anything. Â For those kids, youâd give your own life in a heartbeat, but that wasnât an option. Â Not now, not yet. Â Douxie, however, met her eyes, though only for a moment. Â You didnât have to hear him to know what he was thinking.
âMy burden to bear.â
And with those final words, the world turned green, and you were gone.