Hey there! Your content is so fantastic and I really have enjoyed utilizing some of the resources you have proved for newer members of the community or for people who want to start branching out like myself! I am going to AUNT and and so excited (and admittedly a bit nervous) to actually meet more people in our community! Any tips or things you’d give to a first time event attendee?
Hello! Thank you so much for enjoying my content! I’m not here as often, though I like to pop in from time to time, and it’s warming to see that my blog continues to be enjoyed and act as a resource! 🥰
Aww, yay! That’s super exciting you’re branching out into the in-person scene and attending your first gathering! That can be a tough first step for a lot of people, I’m proud of you! 🎉
Clay and I will be at AUNT too! :)c
Connect and get to know attendees online before the event! If you’re attending AUNT, you’re likely in the AUNT Discord Server! You can interact with other members throughout the Server, though if you’re registered you can interact with attendees in the private event channels! Check members’ roles and see if they have Open DMs! Navigating a gathering helps when you know people! You can also start pre-planning your AUNT weekend, if you want to play board games, video games, JackBox games, watch movies, go out to do tourist-y things, and/or session/play with someone!
@jerjero and @sugarsoakertkl are newbie coordinators, and are happy to welcome you into the scene!
Write an introduction! It helps people get to know you and what you’re looking for! You can take inspiration from someone else’s introduction, feel free to copy-paste the format they used.
It’s one big hang out in a hotel! NEST is a very scheduled event. The smaller gatherings have a few things scheduled, though other than that the weekend is yours to do what you’d like! I believe AUNT’s “big” scheduled events are the group swim, jam circle, and watching the Super Bowl (not in 2025).
Attend other attendee’s events! With an open schedule, some members host their own events, like going out as a group for dinner, hosting board/video games, hosting movie/tv show watching, or inviting people to party/hang out in their room!
Treat others how you want to be treated. It is a tickle event, though no one wants to be treated like a kink dispenser or their kink role. Treat others like you’re meeting them in a public vanilla setting. Introduce yourself, be nice, be welcoming, be polite, be curious, open-minded, and interested!
Meet and greet everyone you can! Don’t just talk to people you want to play with. Getting known and established in the community can go a long way!
It’s NOT a Pay-to-Play event. Going does not guarantee play. Gatherings are community-oriented ; attendees are real people with boundaries and feelings, they’re attending for community, and to make genuine connections.
Interested in playing with someone? Some people do pick-up play after some conversation! Some people, like myself, like a closer relationship before playing! It doesn’t hurt to ask, and it’s okay if they say no- don’t take it personally (receiving a no is a good skill to practice). Once you’ve asked, don’t ask again; keep the ball in their court, if they’re interested they’ll reach out to you.
Someone is interested in playing with you? Either give them a yes or a no, try not to use “maybe.” It’s best to be as clear and honest as possible.
Vet people before playing with them. Get your references. Ask around. Members going are welcomed to the gathering because they’re friendly or know a regular, but they are not vetted for play. Most members I’m sure are kink educated and care for your wellbeing, but unfortunately I personally know a handful who are not good or safe players. Feminine-presenting afabs especially need to vet.
Tell a host if someone makes you uncomfortable. It is best if you can confront and correct them yourself if you’re involved; some people don’t know they’re harming others, and we’re all capable of making mistakes, and growing from them. If you can’t do it, please tell a host, or a friend you trust to help you. It’s better for a behaviour to be corrected than for it to never be acknowledged, and harm continues. Speaking up protects others.
Don’t be hard on yourself if the gathering didn’t go as you thought. Be proud that you took that huge step to get involved in-person. A lot goes on when you’re new and unfamiliar. Most members are longtime goers, and are in established friend groups and dynamics. You may feel it’s hard to find your place initially. I think everyone, even regular attendees, have had a mediocre gathering at least once. I have! It’s okay if this gathering is just you scoping it out and meeting the in-person scene!
How to approach people in the community
How to be approachable in the community
What tickle parties (gatherings) are like
Play party etiquette
Getting to know someone online
Dos and Don’ts of Play / Bondage