#abdicxtion

[luseron]

@abdicxtion continued from here 

“Indeed. I am grateful to have you two willing to help.” A smile makes its way onto the android’s features, Seno taking a few moments to understand her reaction to what Crystal was saying. Happiness, humans would have probably defined it, but also sorrow and guilt, the red eyed woman knowing fully well that the one in front of her was being lied to by omission; the omission of the fact that Seno was out for blood and any improvement for the android meant assisting her with future murder.

“I’ve never been to one of those stores… Neither was I ever allowed to pick what kind of update I want… This shall prove to be an interesting experience.” Seno wasn’t worried about Crystal installing the update, she had seen how the woman treated her creations and she analyzed her potential, she was far more concerned with the prospect of making her own call when it came to an improvement. For some reason, it never dawned upon Seno that she did not need another’s approval if she wanted something upgraded in her system.

The android walked alongside Crystal, listening to the girl talking and once again showing a little smile at her questions. The red eyed woman had to admit she never met anyone with such great interest in what she was- endearing.

“I know how most of the desserts are prepared or served, but I never had one, nor did I ever have the need for one. I do not eat, nor taste anything. Nutrition in the human-like sense of the word is quite pointless for me. I appreciate your kindness and intent of sharing your favorite places with me though.”

[ambrcsian-blog]

@abdicxtion // x

god, how LONG had it been since he’d seen theo smile ??  too long, says his heart that’s now BEATING out of his chest.  his chest TIGHTENS at the stale small-talk between them, though.  so theo DIDN’T recognize him after all.  that was FINE, but.....he wasn’t sure WHAT he’d been hoping for, which OUTCOME he would’ve preferred.  what if theo HAD recognized him ??  what would he say ??  he’d probably hate you.  look at you.  you’re too skinny, too girly, for god’s sake you’re a whore.  he’d never love you now.  not that he ever did.  the anxious voices in his mind start RAMBLING, and he can’t say he knows how to make them stop, or that they’re wrong.

❝ i-i could say the same about you, y’know.  you can’t be that much older than me.  but, uh....y’know things are....rough these days. ❞

lies.  never before have so many LIES come from him.  but if theo doesn’t remember him, what’s the point in trying to make him remember ??  he OBVIOUSLY didn’t care enough to hang on to sammy’s memory, so why not create a whole new story ??  what was the point in CLINGING hopelessly to the past anymore ??

❝ anyways, you got a name t-to go along with....with that pretty face ?? ❞

it’s HARD, so hard to talk to him like this.  he STILL feels it, still CLINGS to those memories because for the first time in his LIFE, someone had made him feel LOVED, made him feel SPECIAL.  but things changed.  and sammy had to change to survive.  he hoped theo wouldn’t mind that.

[cristellia-blog1]

“ d—-don’t make me moan, i don’t want anyone to catch us… ” ( I'm sorry that I'm not sorry at all >:3c )

his family’s DOWNSTAIRS, having friends over for dinner.  theo snuck in through the WINDOW, something that had become quite COMMON these days.  but something that’s becoming even MORE common is that theo’s pinned on spencer’s bed, cheeks flushed and there’s a WICKED grin on spencer’s face.  he’s cruel enough to TEASE him this way, to make him so UTTERLY embarrassed.  grinning, spencer sat back, crossing his arms, though still straddling theo’s hips.

❝ hmm.  then maybe i should stop.  we wouldn’t want to get caught, after all. ❞

honestly, he wants to see just how FAR he can push theo, just what he’ll DO.  it’s a little MEAN of him, sure, but within seconds, he’s pressing kisses to his jaw and neck again, hands sliding underneath his t-shirt before he speaks again, voice LOW and gravelly.

❝ or maybe....maybe we should see just how quiet you can be. ❞

[cristellia-blog1]

he THINKS quite a lot.  far too much, some people say. and his thoughts LINGER on the lives that he’s lived.  more specifically the lives he’s lived with the BOY in the photos he always wakes up with.  he wonders sometimes if theo’s ever remembers HIM.  because spencer’s, quite frankly, TIRED of being the only one remembering everything.  but he likes looking at the photographs.  he doesn’t know if he could EVER wake up without them.  they’re beautful reminders of something he doesn’t know if he’ll find again.  in THIS life, though, he’s become an ACCLAIMED photographer, and has published the photographs with which he could part.  mostly, they’re ones from long ago, tinged with sepia and smiles, ones in color of smiles reaching bi-colored stars.  people wonder if they’re EDITED.  spencer wouldn’t CHANGE them for the world.

but TODAY, there’s someone at the door to his apartment, holding one of his photo books.  assuming they’re a fan, spencer opens the door, suprised to see the subject of his photos.  theo must’ve found him again.  his heart RACES, but he smothers it, leaning against the door frame casually.

❝ can i help you ?? ❞

@abdicxtion // ♥’d

[eumoiran-blog]

“ we’ll be the cutest couple in existence, someday ”

it stings.  it stings to hear theo say something like that.  theo wouldn’t be interested in someone like him.  there’s just no way.  and even if he did tell theo how he felt, he’d just get made fun of again.  because that wasn’t how it worked.  and so, posey hung his head to hide the hurt that dulled his eyes, that made his chest ache and throb with every beat of his heart.  because it didn’t mean anything.  because no one could actually want someone like him.

❝ stop.  just.....j-just.....stop saying things like that.  y-you don’t mean them, i-i know you don’t.  so....don’t try and spare my feelings by acting like you care. ❞

he shouldn’t be doing this, he knows.  but he doesn’t know what else to do.  the concept of someone genuinely caring for him, having feelings for him, is just too much to bear, it’s so foreign to him and it scares him.  he’s not worthy of it, not good enough for someone else’s love.  he’s glad his back is to theo when he speaks next, because he knows he can hear him crying.

❝ w-why....why’re you....a-acting like y-you care ??  w-what’s the point i-in just stringing me a-along ??  d-do....do you enjoy t-this sort o-of s-sick joke ??  i-is that what t-this is ??  j-just....just some joke ??  make the crippled kid fall for y-you a-and then....a-and then break h-his heart ?? ❞

he can’t tell whether it’s fear or hurt in his voice, and he knows that none of what he’s saying is true for theo.  but he knows it’s what will make him leave, and never come back.  and that’s what should happen.  theo shouldn’t waste his time on someone like him.  posey’s worthless already, he doesn’t want to drag theo down with him.

❝ p-please.......i-i don’t w-want this feeling....i-if this w-was all a j-joke. ❞

[eumoiran-blog]

abdicxtion replied to your post ““we should cuddle… for warmth.” ( from anyone you want lol )”

sobs ohno it's cute

out of.  look @ this adorable child ??  pls protect him.  give him good things that involve lots of snuggling.

[ambrcsian-blog]

@abdicxtion // x

mad ??  no, no, sammy was FAR from mad.  he was FURIOUS, actually.  did theo REALLY think he could keep something like this HIDDEN ??  did he REALLY think sammy was that STUPID ??  gritting his teeth and CURLING his hands into fists, sammy WANTED to deck him then and there, but knew he didn’t have the WEIGHT to do the damage he wanted to, and no DOUBT theo was stronger than before.  so instead, sammy SHARPENED his anger to a point, words SEEPING with poison and venom and an ANGER he’d never felt before.

❝ sei un fottuto idiota.  did you really think i wouldn’t notice something like this ??  when were you going to tell me ??  or were you going to tell me at all ?? ❞

he SCOFFS, turning his back to theo.  he’d had ENOUGH of people trying to keep things from him.  he WASN’T a child anymore, he couldn’t AFFORD to be.