How to act around wheelchair users
Interacting with wheelchair users, a crash course:
1) if you dont have the time or time to read the rest of this, then at least take this part - start out from the assumption that you should give the same level of respect and treatment towards wheelchair users as you would to a walker.
2)if you think you’re breaking the tension by saying something cringey and demeaning like “no speeding lol!” “got a license for that thing? haha!”...you’re not. Please don’t do this, we’ve heard it hundreds of times and it wasnt funny the first time.
3) You can say the word disabled. Most of the disability community prefers “disabled person” rather than “person with a disability” - and nearly all prefer it over “handicapped” “handicapable” “differently abled” or other condescending euphemisms for disability. Use the phrases “X is a wheelchair user” or “X uses a wheelchair” rather than “X is wheelchair bound” or “X is in a wheelchair”
4) Please remember that we are adults and grabbing us and moving us places without consent or warning is classified as assault. You should not grab strangers simply because you see they are using a mobility aid, that doesnt make it okay. Assaulting people is not your kind deed of the day!!
5) respect our privacy. Please do not ask why we use a wheelchair (extremely rude!) or whether we can drive, engage in intercourse, have children, etc.
5) following off of 4, dont assume that we need your help. I saw a post recently that had a comment from an abled person that basically said they felt awkward talking to wheelchair users becuase they want to help but dont know how - in the context of...no help being needed. Many people see wheelchair and assume “help needed!!” and rush to our aid, ignoring our consent or autonomy in the process. That is not okay. Ask first. And respect a no. But before asking - does the person actually seem to need help? Are they stuck on a curb (that’s happened to me!) or have a flat tire, or struggling in the terrain? Or are they simply chilling on their phone, or opening a door by themselves with no signs of difficulty, or pushing themselves down the sidewalk minding their business; yet you assume they must need help because wheelchair = needing help??
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This isnt a perfect list, but i think its a good overview of the basics! And remember that disabled people aren’t a monolith, and if you are extensively interacting with a wheelchair user (such as a partner or family member, or a roommate) you should definitely see what they personally prefer and listen to them as well!
