#about cows

[scoutsmoocrew]

Weird Things Cows Do

Follow you around trying to lick the back of your pants, specifically

Pick up mouthfuls of feed, throw them over their shoulders

Use other cows as footrests

Lick at their teats to drink their own milk (seriously guys???)

Rub their nose in your hair, especially if you just showered

Lay flat on their side to make you think they're dead

Lick literally everything (not just the back of ur pants, but they do love to lick that)

Climb in their water trough for swimmies

Eat sawdust

Suck on chains, especially right before you have to use the chains to close gates

Try to mount you when they're in heat

Randomly moo over and over again

[tiredpansy]

"You wouldn't milk a dog! !!!" It needs to be in edgy writing with a pic of a weird pregnant dog

[agentharrisonofshield-a]

[12:45:31 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // ... I can't believe I'm dedicating almost 3/4 of a page to how /cows/ are threatening. /COWS/ [12:46:41 AM] Vivian Harrison: // LOOK I HAVE SEEN LONGHORNS. COWS ARE SCARY MOTHERFUCKERS WHEN THEY WANT TO BE [12:47:18 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // ... COWS [12:47:25 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // THEY ARE BIG, DUMB, DOCILE ANIMALS [12:47:29 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // THEY ARE ONLY SCARY IF THEY FALL ON YOU [12:48:27 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // "Due to their innate gentle disposition and intelligence, Texas Longhorns are increasingly being trained as riding steers." [12:48:58 AM] Vivian Harrison: // HAVE YOU /SEEN/ A LONGHORN? WITH ITS, WELL, LONG AND /VERY POINTY/ HORNS? GENTLE DISPOSITION MY ASS THOSE ASSHOLES LOOK AT YOU LIKE THEY WANT TO REVERSE THE FOOD CHAIN [12:49:10 AM] Vivian Harrison: // WITH THEIR CRAZY COW EYES [12:49:30 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // I HAVE SEEN PICTURES. THEY ARE STILL BIG, DOCILE ANIMALS [12:49:31 AM] Vivian Harrison: // This is what happens when you make me go to a rodeo [12:49:33 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // COWS ARE NOT SCARY [12:49:46 AM] Vivian Harrison: // I decide that cows are not to be trusted [12:49:54 AM] Vivian Harrison: // ...Well, /Texas/ cows are not to be trusted [12:50:34 AM] Vivian Harrison: // The Holsteins over at Cook College at Rutgers University probably wouldn't even scare me if they fell on me [12:51:54 AM] Vivian Harrison: // I'd just be "wtf why did a cow fall on me?!" and the cow would be very confused and unsure about its place in the world because it's not supposed to fall on people it's supposed to stand around in a field until it's time to be led into a building, and then stand around in the building until it's time to be led out into a field, and then someday it will be slaughtered and sold at the farmer's market and people will have hamburgers and be pleased to buy locally-produced meat [12:52:10 AM] Vivian Harrison: // (I may be giving this cow a little too much knowledge of its life but oh well) [12:52:57 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): // ... They are /cows/. /COWS/. Cows are not frightening. They are giant beefsteaks (teehee I'm a terrible person) and they are cute and moo a lot and produce milk and just are not frightening unless they fall on you, then you're dead, so you don't need to worry about it [12:56:35 AM] Vivian Harrison: // I prefer to think of them as giant hamburgers, personally. And really, who other than Monty Python throws cows at people? [12:56:43 AM] Bucky, Loki, and Satan (walk into a bar): (rofl)

[do-remi]

"Don’t shove things up other people’s butts, remi Or other cows”

Just your normal conversation before you go to sleep

7am the usual time to sleep now

[eternalellipses]

I hate that cows are so cute because I've had to work with cows and I know that they are actually evil.

[bashinminds-blog]

RUENSFGWIDN COWS JN#OINS GET UP IN THE MORNING AT 5 O CLOCK (ND#DDDGSDUGFUASND PAIL FULL OF EGGS

AMIRITE?