#about cub

[recoveringseeksorrow]

bpdbabybear > recoveringseeksorrow

my penname is “cub” so i’ve always felt my url was a bit off, and seeksorrow is a cool word anyway. check my desc for the definition

[recoveringseeksorrow]

i need to update my fuckin..... about page, tbh. tbpdfw half the shit on ur about page aint true anymore

[recoveringseeksorrow]

also, clerical note - i continue to call them “fp” even though they’re not my fp anymore just for clarity. cos i never gave them a codename or anything that’s not FP, and i don’t wanna, say their name or anything. it’s just been too long running this blog to just, switch, like that.

also i don’t think i’ll FP another person again so i think we’re safe

[recoveringseeksorrow]

I can’t believe I forgot I’m evil!! Jeez, good job you big dummy!! Next time, try to remember your villainous ways.

[recoveringseeksorrow]

it’s nice having people in my life who don’t know what’s happened to me

it’s nice having people in my life who don’t know what i’ve done

[recoveringseeksorrow]

i’m also pretty much done with labeling myself. they used to be useful for me but now i don’t know and can’t be fecked to figure it all out

i still call myself a “nonbinary lesbian that is sorta poly” by default, because that’s the last set of labels that made sense before my identity got shot to shit. i can’t even feel love anymore so why even bother

it’s sort of like a phantom limb - i don’t have it anymore, but i can still point to the place it was and have you understand there was something there once

[recoveringseeksorrow]

speaking of honesty: i’m leaning towards really believing i’m not human. like i’m really really good at pretending to be one but i’m just not, i’m off. though i guess that’s probably a projection of my NUMEROUS mental illnesses but what if those in turn are just a manifestation of my inhumanity?

tl;dr i’m probably a changeling

[recoveringseeksorrow]

another thing: i get echolalia a lot ? i just say a phrase over and over again. once when i was having a real bad attack i just repeated “its okay on the road” over and over again (context: i was driving also and trying to not drive off the road lmfao)