#about heimdall

[cambriancruelty]

what is life but a game of catching falling cards? i wonder, what would happen if i just let them land....

[cambriancruelty]

CAMBRIAN: I find myself musing on my morality at the moment. What I do is doubtlessly selfish, always selfish. Is it enough justification that my selfishness can be mistaken for good if one misunderstands me? I don't think I am capable of good in the true sense, I think my nature is wholly too abstract by now. I've spent too long away from a real world to understand it, much less fit into its categories. But I wonder, does it count that I mean well? Does it matter?

CAMBRIAN: In truth I know that I am just being selfish. I just can't tolerate loss or death. I cannot accept losing anything. Even my good deeds are rooted in this, my unshaken inability to lose. I've never been able to bear it

CAMBRIAN: I brought a friend back today, encased in paint and canvas. I can hear their voice. Is it wrong that I don't feel remorse for it? They see me as an obstacle to an ends, probably more so than anything else. I have doubtless created a perpetual cycle of difficulty. And yet, I did it. Without doubt. Without hesitation. And I feel no remorse. What will be will be. What comes of this will come. I will deserve any consequences this brings, and I will bear them. I can bear anything, except loss, and myself.