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Can't let this guy's birthday month come to a close without once again wishing him a very happy birthday. I am forever grateful you were born. I love you to the moon and back. @theoneryderlynn #myguy
Warnings: mentions of death, cancer, religious contemplation
Wave headcanon
One of the most calming sounds to Ryder is the sound of waves crashing against a shore. He grew up a short distance away from the beach and couldn't a remember a time when the sound didn't calm whatever storm was brewing within him. Sure, Ryder grew up probably a bit more privileged than most but he still had some angst sprinkled in during his teenage years. It mostly resulted from fights with his dad. There was always a rift between the two, especially when it came to school. Ryder's dad told him that he needed to buckle down, get with the program and whatever other cliche you could come up with. But Ryder was trying his hardest in school, he really was. So, there were a lot of fights in the Lynn household about Ryder's grades and his work ethic. His only escape seemed to be going down to the beach, to this old pier that people swore would cave in on itself at any moment. He would sit at the very edge, let his feet dangle over and scream till his throat felt raw. There were times he was scared that his yelling would be heard but the sound of the waves drowned him out. Now that he's older and knows how to deal with his anger better, the beach and waves in general provide with a different kind of sanctuary. Instead of being a deafening barrier, now they allow Ryder to clear his head, which is probably why he spends so much time running along the shore.
Word count: 260
Letter headcanon
It shouldn't be this hard, he knew that. But still he was having difficulty as a 15-year old to read a simple sentence. The letters weren't jumping around the page like they used to when he was young but the way in which they were organized still made no sense to him. He leaned forward, glancing between the teacher who held up a flashcard and the actual letters on the paper. It wasn't a word. He was sure of it. He'd seen some pretty weird looking words before but there was no way this was in the English language. He shook his head to himself as he brought the palms of his hands to rub at his eyes till he saw stars. This was stupid anyway. He didn't need any special help or to feel like he was stupider than he already felt, he was getting by in school just fine. C's got degrees, right.
Word count: 155
String headcanon
So, the break up had gone worse than expected. Way worse. But all in all, it was for the best. Ryder no longer had any romantic feelings for Mia and wasn't it better to break things off now then to date for another year or two, be expected to get engaged and break up then? In his eyes, he was doing them both a favor. He knew that, but still as he went around his apartment, gathering up the things she'd left over there or given him over the past couple years he kept remembering all the good times they'd have together. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake and he was just confused. He shifted through things in his nightstand before he pulled out a card she'd given him on their two year anniversary, attached a red string.
He could remember the night clearly, they were out by the beach laying squished together in one plastic beach chairs that hotels had out so that guests could relax. He remembered seeing her pull out the piece of string, only cause he thought it was such a weird thing to keep in someone's back pocket but he didn't say anything as she tied it around her finger. She started messing with the hand he had on his chest, playing with his fingers as she intertwined them with her own. His free hand combing through her hair a breeze blew through it as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. It was nice, being in love and being this happy, he'd never felt like it before.
Ryder was looking out over the shore, watching as the waves crashed against the sand, the sound relaxing him even further. He didn't even notice that Mia had tied the opposite end of the string to his ring finger until he had tried to move his hand. "What. What is this?" He asked, eyebrows creasing. "There's this thing about soulmates having an invisible red thread that ties them together," She explained, her fingers running up and down his jawline. His eyes darted from hers to the string she had tied around their fingers, "You're my other half, Ry." She said with a small smile.
He twirled the string around his finger, still able to feel the way it felt when she had tied it there in the first place. A small part of him whispered that this wasn't the right option, she was his other half and this was just an obstacle they needed to overcome. But a bigger, louder part of him screamed that if the obstacle was him falling out of love, their relationship wouldn't work. How could you force yourself to love someone? Shaking his head to himself he grabbed the card, the string, and the box he had accumulated of her stuff and dumped the contents into his trash can. He didn't want to think about it anymore, he was doing this, they were over and he wasn't going back.
Word count: 498
Church headcanon
Ryder was never all that religious growing up, he went to church like he was supposed to, got all the sacraments from the Catholic church like his mom made him and that was that. He went along with it because well, it wasn't like he could just say 'I don’t know if I believe all this.' That would probably break his mom's heart too, so he went to church and didn't say a word about his doubts.
It wasn't until his sophomore year in high school that he stopped going. And even that was an ordeal. Months before he stopped going to church, Ryder's grandpa had passed away. The two had only recently gotten close and Ryder was sure it was because his grandpa knew his time was coming to an end and wanted to have as much time with all of his grandchildren as he could. Still, Ryder took advantage of it. His grandparents lived fairly close so after school he'd walk to their house and play whatever card game or trick his grandpa wanted to show him for a few hours before he needed to start on homework.
His grandpa was sick, lung cancer from all the cigars he smoked, the family knew it was coming. They'd been trying treatment for the last three years, but nothing was working, if anything it made the sickness even more aggressive.
It happened in early March, his grandma and his uncle were in the room when he passed. They said it was peaceful. It took a few days for Ryder to fully process it, he stayed quiet through everything. He was the stoic pair of shoulders to cry on that he had been taught to be, he didn't even remember shedding a tear until it was his turn to grab a handful of dirt and sprinkle it onto the casket. Once the one tear came down, they wouldn't stop. His dad had to grip his shoulder and walk him back to the car. He went home, turned on the Elvis record his grandpa had given him, laid in bed and didn't get up until he absolutely had to.
It was hard for Ryder to believe there was some magical place in the sky where everybody went to when they died. It was hard for Ryder to think he'd ever see his grandpa again. It was hard for him to think that when his grandpa died, there probably wasn't some white light guiding him to whatever was in store for him, he was sure nothing greeted him. And how was that fair? How was that fair for a man who gave up everything and moved him and his young wife from their beloved home country that had been taken over by a tyrant. He never saw his own parents or siblings again, went to a country where he barely spoke the language, worked 7 days a week to provide for his young growing family, prayed and believed in God and did everything right. And still all he got was a sickness drawn out over years. A loving, merciful God wouldn't have done that. Wouldn't have put a family through Hell and back for nothing. The God Ryder was taught to believe in would have rewarded his grandpa's devotion and years of service, right?
Word count: 551
Bubble headcanon
Bubble was the right word, that's what Ryder felt he had been living in the last two decades. Sure, he loved Miami and he loved his family, but he'd lived there his whole life, gone to university there, started working there. If he wasn't careful, soon he'd find himself getting married and having kids there. He wasn't ready for that. The last year had been different, with the whole porn gig but ever since he'd been told about a company out in California that was hiring adult film talent, he couldn't stop thinking about it. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to get out of the little bubble he lived in. It would be a huge change, that was obvious but he was young, if he didn't do it now, he never would.
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Cannot let the day end without wishing my love and fiancé Happy Valentine’s Day. This is a throwback to one of our many adventures. I can’t wait to continue to go on adventures with you for the rest of my life. I know no matter what life throws at me, I can face it with you by my side. . Thanks for not only making today special, but every day. I’m so thankful you are in my life and I will soon get to marry you. I love you, Ry! @theoneryderlynn #myfiance #valentine’sday2022
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My guy, @theoneryderlynn, had a birthday recently and I haven’t had a chance to make a post yet. I am so incredibly happy that you were born and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Here’s to this birthday and many more. I love you so much! #myguy #happybirthday #belatedbirthdaypost
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This guy became a year older today, but still looks as handsome as ever. I hope this year is amazing one for you. I can’t wait to see all the amazing things you do. I’m very thankful you were born. I hope you have the best birthday ever! Let’s go eat some cake! I love you! @theoneryderlynn #happybirthday #myguy
