I’m really trying to clean up my Shepards’ story and it’s.... it’s getting Weird(TM)
I’ve got three Shepards. Adrian (my favourite, admittedly), the Renegade who chooses to Destroy the Reapers; London, the Paragon who chooses to Control the Reapers; and Ana-Dimitri, the Paragade who chooses Synthesis. Pretty straightforward.
So I started thinking... what if Ana-Dima’s outcome is the ‘final’ one? What if the three timelines converge at the Crucible, and when Adrian and London get there in their respective timelines, they link up with Ana-Dima and the synthesis not only involves organic and inorganic matter, but also the twin Shepards London and Adrian (they are twins, biologically) -- London the sacrificial Reaper and Adrian the all-too-human warrior? What if the synthesis creates a One out of the Three (a cosmic trinity, say), a Shepherd of Shepards, something intrinsically human and alien and machine that isn’t a Reaper but a... well, a Catalyst?
Maybe the Shepherd Catalyst quickens life and development when it looks like it’s flagging, instead of culling it when it looks like it’s getting too smart. I don’t know. I like it, though. It’s my kind of weird. I’m keeping it.
May I have #5 for any/all of your Mass Effect OCs? Please?
hell yeah you can!
List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.
Adrian
The Renegade of the Shepard Triumviri definitely doesn’t present himself as a man who is afraid of anything -- but he recognises that showing fear of the Reapers is a good way to get people to take the Reapers seriously. So his surface-level fear definitely has to do with the Reapers.
His repressed fear is death. His, his crew’s, his species’. He identifies very strongly as an individual, and the idea that he can just stop existing is extremely alien to him. He applies that universally -- to imagine humanity as an extinct species disorients him on a fundamental level. But that level of fear gets in the way of Getting Shit Done on behalf of said doomed species, so he represses it.
His deepest fear is alienation; loneliness; the vast and indifferent void. It all ties together, you see? He is innately and viscerally opposed to the idea of being wiped off the face of the universe, and therefore opposed to anything that threatens such an end. Being spaced after Normandy SR-1 is destroyed definitely added to this fear of his; as fragmented as his memory is, he definitely recalls the feeling of coming face-to-face with the absolute void, and it has influenced his nightmares ever since.
London
The Paragon of the Shepard Triumviri is attached to her people, and her surface fear will always be failing them. She recognises her responsibility to her crew and her responsibility to humankind as a whole, and would give up all personal desires to fulfill that responsibility. She fears censure from her superiors and she fears a lack of confidence and trust from those under her command.
Her repressed fear is loneliness. She fears pushing people away, or not being enough for a person that she loves. She is not a pushover and she will not tolerate being pressured into a mode of behaviour that is unnatural to her -- but within her limits she will do her absolute best to meet a loved one where they are and give them what they need. She does fear that she is not enough, not to save the galaxy and not to save a relationship, which leads to...
...Her deepest fear, which is a fundamental failure to be who she was meant to be. She doesn’t know if she believes in a God or anything, but she often believes that she must have a purpose, a great one, if all these hardships and responsibilities have fallen upon her. She thinks that perhaps she will do something wrong, that she will fall prey to evil, that she will have to face judgement at the End of Things and find herself lacking. Sometimes the need to do things Right paralyses her, and prevents her from doing anything at all -- and that’s probably the worst thing.
Ana-Dimitri
The Paragade of the Shepard Triumviri is often reckless and indifferent by outward appearances, but every so often ey put eir foot down and refuse to do something -- because eir surface fear is death by doing something stupid. Ey know ey do a lot of stupid shit, because eir cyborg body gives em an invincibility complex, and ey don’t want that invincibility complex to lead em to an easily preventable death. So, you know. No EVAs on highly radioactive planets, or anything.
Eir repressed fear is infirmity, and paralysis. A coma is frightening too, but at least comas are not conscious states of being. To be trapped in a body that won’t work right, that won’t do the things that ey need it to do? To feel like ey are just a ghost floating in a dead shell? That frightens them more than just flat-out death, but ey’re less willing to admit it (because one has to think about it to admit it, and ey don’t even want to think about it).
Eir deepest fear is similar to Adrian’s -- the void, the vast and bleak indifference of deep space, but whereas Adrian sees that as something outside of himself, Anadima sees the potential of the yawning void within emself. Ey know that they can fall into it, because it’s within em. Ey know that if ey lose touch with what’s important to these quickling organic species, if ey become too distant and too alienated, Ana-Dimitri as an individual will cease to be, and there will just be void. And the void cannot bond with the Catalyst, to be a lighthouse for the other Shepards. The void cannot fulfill the Purpose. And Anadima must fulfill the Purpose, at all costs, whether ey understanad it or not.
pros: will straight-up punch anyone who so much as casually insults you; archetypal bad boy in leather; creative in the sack
cons: also married to his job; impossible to comfortably sleep next to because nightmares; has in-depth serious conversations with his hamster
LONDON
pros: will spoil the life out of you; dances better than everyone you know; is a lightweight and a cuddly drunk
cons: is a media darling so the paparazzi is always hovering; decisive as hell in the field but indecisive as hell in the restaurant; overprotective military father
ANA-DIMITRI
pros: not a commander so less stressed out overall; uncannily remembers every detail about you; cyborg
cons: always off doing dangerous shit for the fun of it; bad case of the “chaotic biotics” when excited (be careful in bed); overprotective military boyfriend
