Before I begin, I ask all who read this to read it with a warm heart and a smile. Please do not comment “I’m sorry for your loss,” as this isn’t a loss to me but a blessing, in which I celebrate. I celebrate this day as the my initial journey into motherhood. * * I’ve always wanted to share a picture of this day, but I always held back because of other peoples opinions. For others it’s hard to look at or its too personal or private (Just like child birth and breastfeeding 🙄). Yet, this is no different, it’s God’s amazing Grace, speaking about it is exactly what helped me heal and move forward. Its given me the opportunity to be advocate to other women who have had miscarriages and still births. In hindsight, I realized that God’s plan was better than mine because while I thought I was ready to be a mother, looking back I wasn’t. I wasn’t prepared financially, emotionally, mentally, nor was I the person I NOW pray to be as a role model for my children. I’ve learned more about pregnancy + birth (thanks to @empoweredbybirth, now I’m planning my next to be a home birth — This page is awesome btw, please follow them.) I experienced pregnancy up to 5 months, natural labor (while watching Scarface 😂) and endured the pain a woman does during labor. Most importantly, I got to hold my little peanut and feel love, flesh of my flesh. Death brings forth new beginnings and I know God is doing something wonderful with my life & Abram has been that reminder for the past 5 years. This year, his 5th birthday has been a sign of alignment: 8/18/18 ... I’ve been seeing the number 8 since last year and a month ago I learned that the biblical meaning of 8 is my savior’s name: #Jesus. I know Abram’s up in heaven playing with all the other little angels of Mommies that have lost a little one. Lastly, I hope my story provides strength for the moms with a loss, everything has a purpose and it will be revealed in your lifetime, don’t try to understand it. There’s an entire chapter on my experience in my novel: #iFellForNewYorksFinest) Now help me wish my cutie #AbramMoses a Happy Birthday! I love you baby boy! You rock my life! Now to finish watching #Scarface.☺️❤️