#absentlcver

[truthhcrts]

✢

✢ – an awkward hug

crying wasn’t something minki did... ever. the last memory of crying he could recall was at eleven years old, and from then on he’d seemed to mentally make the decision to not allow himself to feel like that anymore. it didn’t mean he hadn’t had moments where words seemed to catch in his throat, overcome with some type of emotion, but he’d trained himself to swallow it down. nothing was worth making himself look like an absolute fool...

and then his mother called. the phone call had been normal at first, minki giving lazy responses as she questioned how his school life was going, and if he was keeping a close eye on sunny. as if they weren’t less than a year apart, minki was still seen as the older brother that needed to protect her, and honestly, he got it. he knew that sunny needed a certain amount of guidance simply because her heart seemed to constantly drape across her arm for any to take. maybe a small part of him worried over it, but... only a small amount. he refused to admit anymore than that.

what got him was hearing that his birth mother had sent in a letter. it felt like his entire body went cold the second the realization washed over him. at first, there seemed to be a certain amount of relief - at least she was alive. not that it really mattered, did it? that was when his frustration took over, and before his mother could even suggest sending it to him, he was instantly telling her to burn it. drama king, maybe, but he worried that the words in the letter would hurt him even more than the feeling of abandonment had throughout his life.

once the call was over, he paced. a lot. he shifted back and forth through the dorm. he cleaned up some of lex’s things, and it wasn’t until he reached up to wipe his face that he realized he started crying. of course he had absolutely no time to collect himself before lex was stepping inside. his eyes widened, focused on lex before quickly turning away. his sniffling made it obvious, plus the fact that he hadn’t bothered to insult the other.

he felt the hug, and immediately, his entire body tensed up. the show of affection had him letting out a low grunt, though he... very awkwardly stood there, accepting it. he didn’t find himself immediately wanting to shove him away, which... ended up pissing minki off more than anything else. his face was a light shade of pink when he finally pushed lex away, kicking at him for added effect. “what the hell? it’d have been better if you just ignored me,” he pointed out with a glare. “i’m... just gonna go,” he muttered, looking more and more flustered as he rushed to grab his bag and leave the room as fast as possible.

[simonkxng-blog]

✿

✿  five times my muse almost texted yours, and the one time they did.

[ougoing 12:03am - lex the pest] hey sorry for being an ass the other night and kicking you out unsent

[ougoing 7:10am - lex the pest] you left your hoodie on our couch. thought i’d let you know. unsent

[ougoing 2:37am - lex the pest] you seem to make river happy even tho it’s just a hookup thing... right? unsent

[ougoing 12:57am - lex the pest] sorry that i walk in on you all the time. that’s probably embarassing as hell. unsent

[ougoing 2:03pm - lex the pest] dude do you even go to school or do you just pay to get away from family or something lol. unsent

[ougoing 12:57am - lex the pest] can you guys put a fucking sign on the door... i’ve asked FIVE TIMES please,,,, my fucking eyes.

[wolvescried]

❤

❤  five times my muse says they don’t love yours, and the one time they admit it.

i. the words ‘i love you’ come a little too easily to ezra, almost so that he always, always has to remember when not to say it. the first time he almost does, it’s in the dingy bathroom of the bar next to the art building, bass boosting through the speakers. some local band is playing, much too metal for his tastes, so he gets away, and drags lex with him. they’re both sweaty and maybe a little too tipsy, which probably explains the smile on ezra’s face. he can’t stop giggling. “you...” he wheezes, gripping the edge of the sink he’s leaning against. “you told me iwasgonnalovethebandplayingtonight. little shit.” the words come slurred as he shakes his head. “you’re so lucky i only like you. and that you’re hot as fuck.” he grabs him by the collar, pressing his lips against his desperately.

ii. the second time, ezra’s high, lying on the floor of lex’s dorm with a burnt-out joint in between his fingers. his bags fall over his eyes and he’s trying to blink them out, to no avail. he wrinkles his nose, exhaling the last of the smoke into the air. “your weed is shit.” he stands up slowly, and flops onto the covers, resting his head on lex’s chest. his fingers drum against warm skin, and he closes his eyes so he can hear his heartbeat better. “i feel like someone sucked the life out of me, and i hate you for it. i should bring mine next time.” he looks up. “remind me.”

iii. when ezra was ten, his parents signed him up for trumpet lessons — better put your strong park lungs to use if you’re not going to take up swimming, they said. that lasted six months before he gave up, giving his shiny new trumpet away to someone who needed it. 

he’s not musically-inclined at all, but whatever lex is playing on his old guitar is surely much worse than his rendition of can you feel the love tonight. “play me a song, babe,” he’d said; only to hear out-of-tune strumming and whatever obnoxious lyrics his boyfriend can think of on the spot. when he finishes, ezra scowls, whacking the side of his arm. “i can’t believe you! you told me you could play something good. i hate you.” he says those last words with a giggle or two slipping out, full cheeks rising up. he doesn’t hate it at all.

iv. it takes months before lex finally agrees to meet his parents. it’s, thankfully, a dinner without hadley; ezra doesn’t need his weed of a cousin to voice her opinions on who he’s dating this time around. “you look fine,” he tells lex, straightening out his dress shirt. “my parents are good people. they’ll like you because i like you.” he gives him a soft peck, smiling. 

when the dinner is over, he slides his hand into his, resting his head on lex’s shoulder. “see, wasn’t so bad, right, babe? told you they’d like you, even if you were annoying as fuck telling them about how we met. i was ready to break up right then and there.” he’s teasing, sighing softly. “good to know you made them laugh, at least.”

v. ezra park is not a scaredy cat. or at least, that’s what he tells himself when his boyfriend drags him to a haunted house, which isn’t even that scary to begin with. “i’ll be fine,” he lied. “have you seen me? nerves of steel, baby.” but ezra’s jumpy, and lets out shrieks that could probably break glass. by the time they head out, he’s clinging to his boyfriend like a koala to a tree, heart racing violently. “we’re never doing that again. i hated it so much. you’re the worst. is it over? dear god, it better be over.” he knows it is, but he doesn’t want to let go of lex just yet.

vi. it’s perfect, really. his assignment is something in the vein of investigative journalism, which means taking survey and generally giving ezra a free pass to be as annoying as he can be. and he knows the perfect person to start his investigation on, sitting right in front of him. his smile is bright and his eyes are sparkling as he taps lex’s knee with his pen. he’s been looking sullen lately, and as someone whose job is to be a good boyfriend, ezra is going to try his best to cheer him up. “hey, i’m doing a survey for class on how people react to certain phrases, can you help me out?” he doesn’t wait for an answer before bringing out his phone, opening up the voice recorder app. “okay. so i’m gonna tell you something, just react normally.” he goes through them carefully, and takes a deep breath before the last one. “finally, i love you.” he looks up with hesitant eyes, biting his lip softly. “i really do.” 

but lex is quiet, deathly so, and ezra wishes he’d say something. he’s never been a fan of silence. “lex? baby?” he whispers, stopping the recording. “i can give you another phrase if you want.”

the next phrase doesn’t come in the next few days. instead, ezra finds himself on the floor of his childhood bedroom, curled up in a ball and trying to stop the sobs from coming out.

his last phrase was i love you. lex’s was i don’t. 

[simonkxng-blog]

⁇

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ outgoing 2:13am - lex the pest ] i think onc e in my life  i want to suc a dick???

[ outgoing 2:13am - lex the pest ] like no t tht im gay or sanything? but l ike

[ outgoing 2:13am - lex the pest ] yolo ???/

[ outgoing 2:13am - lex the pest ] u  kno?1! 

[truthhcrts]

✚

✚ – A hug while cuddling

minki hated his habit of cuddling when he was asleep. he hated how his body would naturally curl up to whoever was beside him. he hated it even more that the person he was now curled up beside was with lex, for reasons that minki didn’t wanna think too much about. the two of them had been going back and forth a lot recently, and the moment itself had really started to seem inevitable. it didn’t make minki feel any better about it, however. he kind of wanted to die, but the feeling of a body beside him was comforting enough to keep him in place. 

typically, minki left after sex for this very reason. he didn’t wanna seem clingy, or needy for attention. it was hard to leave when lex was in his bed, however. and he was exhausted, his eyelids feeling like they weighed a hundred pounds. he just wanted to stay in place, his face buried against the other’s side. it wasn’t often that minki let himself fall into that sort of physical touch - he just hoped that lex was still asleep, too. he wasn’t sure he could handle the embarrassment acknowledging how close and wrapped up in lex that he currently was. 

it was when he felt the tightened grip, a purposeful squeeze, that his breathing went uneven. it was enough for minki to assume that the other boy was awake, and minki was immediately trying to fake sleep more so than before. he hated the idea of lex knowing that he’d been awake and hadn’t pushed him away... not that lex wasn’t doing the same, it seemed like. after a few minutes, minki pretended to wake up... and scoffed in disgust, shoving lex away from him. “was’ wrong with you?” his voice was scolding, his sleepy eyes glaring down at him. “i get it if you’re even more in love with me before, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to touch me. disgusting. your bed is literally right there.”

[sorvns]

* CLOSED STARTER / @absentlcver !

they’ve been walking for what feels like ages, so long in fact that the sun was up when they started and has been down for quite a while now. “if they would’ve told me this place was gonna be in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere then i wouldn’t have suggested we walk.” he grumbles, kicking a rock in his path. “i’m starting to wonder if we’re not walking into a death trap.” he laughs, though he is starting to become a little paranoid. it’s not like he really knows the dude who invited them to this party so he could be anybody. even a serial killer. “it’s like that one movie where those guys hit up a frat party that’s all great and fun, but it turns out it’s all a part of some ritual to get into a cult. it’s wild as fuck.”