#ace issues

[allastoredeer]

Deepest Desires

Confirmation that Alastor is the higher ranked angelic equivalent of Catnip.

Deerman makes Angels fall and Demons howl.

XDc

Nobody is immune to the deer man.

Nobody.

[ireneswanyu]

An update on my last story:

Previously, I mentioned how my boss's husband was acting weird towards me behind her back and that stressed my ace ass so bad at some point. I did prepared a few ways to respond just in case and took advice from my family and friends and I went to work and treated everyone like I normally do. Luckily for me, I haven't been left alone with him and he hasn't made any "moves", like calling me or asking to talk in private and shit like that.

The only thing I noticed is that he had this weird smile (I don't know how else to describe it, to me it kinda looks narcissistic) when talking to me (once or twice), but he noticed that I'm not responding to whatever is that he's trying to do, I think whatever was going through his stupid mind, disappeared...

Smh...🤦🏻‍♀️

it seems by being cold and avoidant, made him give up on "his plan".

Anyways, I feel safe again.

Cheers.

(maybe I need to name those stories:"episodes of: garlic bread issues". My sense of humour is broken btw.)

(thanks to everyone who listened and gave me advice.)

✌🏻

[romance-n-sex-repulsed-aroace]

huge shout-out to sex-repulsed furries. I'm so sorry about the stereotypes about the furry community that it's somehow an inherently sexual thing, and i hope you know that you absolutely can be a furry while sex repulsed.

[angry-aroacey-ramblings-dot-txt]

so, i know theres a problem with people assuming that just bc youre ace that means they have to avoid talking about sex around you/assume that youre sex repulsed (in reality they should ask, bc if all youve said is that youre ace they shouldnt be assuming either way), but also ive seen some people when complaining about this phrasing it as "infantalising" them or treating them "like a kid" to avoid talking about sex around them. and i want to ask that people also dont phrase it that way, since that in and of itself is infantalising towards very real sex repulsed aces who do actually want or need people to avoid the topic around them.

[faint-glimmers-of-hope]

Kinda fucked up how how ‘sex without romance’ (hookups and stuff) is completely normalized in our society yet if you so much as mention the possibility of ‘romance without sex’ people will get outraged and start throwing arguments about how it’s impossible and unnatural

[acespec-ed]

You know what’s messed up?

Being asexual could be considered a symptom of schizoid personality disorder (SPD). 

Arophobes like to water down QPRs as “just friendships everyone has.” I have never experienced nor desired that sort of “friendship” towards anyone ever. Arophobes insisting QPRs are some sort of norm has made me feel like something is psychologically wrong with me, which leads to me doing online research. One of those times, I came across the term “schizoid.” And there’s a symptom for it that’s a slap in the face to many aces.

- Feel little if any desire for sexual relationships

Maybe I’m overreacting, but that sounds kinda acephobic... 

Of course, there’s other symptoms a person needs to check off. No psychologist worth their degree is going to diagnose an ace with SPD unless they have other symptoms. But the fact that that’s even a symptom listed makes me uncomfortable. And I can’t be the only one who feels that way.

Nothing against people with SPD, but does the lack of desire for a sexual relationship really need to be listed as a common symptom? Something listed in the DSM? Really??

But wait, there’s more! 

While writing this up, I decided to do a quick google on it to make sure I’m remembering things correctly. And I clicked the wiki article for it. First paragraph mentions “a degree of asexuality.”

Source

I can’t possibly be the only one who sees something fucked up about listing a sexual orientation as a symptom of a disorder, right? Or am I somehow being ableist in thinking this? (If I am it’s out of ignorance, and I apologize in advance.)

I don’t like that “lack of interest in sexual relationships” is listed as a symptom in the DSM. And I especially don’t like that Wikipedia even has the word “asexuality” on the page of a disorder. I just don’t. (If it was any other orientation, wouldn’t people kinda be... pissed off?)

It’s like it’s, just contributing to the medical discrimination of asexuality. It’s reinforcing the stereotype that everyone has sex and anyone who isn’t interested in sex has a medical issue. In this case, psychological. We have supposedly been removed from the DSM, and yet we’re still in there. Who knows how many other psychological disorders have “no interest in sexual relationships” as a symptom. That shouldn’t be a symptom for any medical disorder or illness. “Loss of interest in sex” maybe, because that implies the person was once interested in sex. Though if it’s a “been like this my whole life” thing like SPD, “little to no interest in sex unless the person identifies as asexual” would work better. Though why would it even need to be there at all? There’s plenty of other SPD symptoms to make up for removing it outright.

All of this makes me feel like we’re still in the DSM, but in subtle ways. Until we get rid of the assumption that every person in the God damn world wants sex and anyone who doesn’t must have a mental issue, we’re still in the DSM. And I can’t see that assumption changing in my lifetime.

This is exactly why we need asexual awareness!

[hacash]

Literally every time I join a dating app I get enthusiastic for about ten seconds until I remember I don’t get attracted to people I don’t know well and I have a pathological inability to flirt

[sapphic-sex-ed]

How to ask an ace person if they want sex or not without offending them?

"Would you like to have sex?"

It's really that easy. If the person is sex-repulsed (ace or not) you should gauge that before asking about sex. "How are you feeling about sex today?" or "Are you in the mood to talk about sex?" are good questions to ask.

-*Mod Star*