Romance Initiated - Zevran/Ace!Warden (Also on AO3)
They had known that flirting with Zevran was dangerous. He was bound to make a serious offer eventually, one they couldn't laugh off.
They had flirted with him anyway, eagerly and often.
He was fun and easy to talk to.
Zevran even used their pronouns with absolute consistency. He called them "attractive" and "my warden" in place of anything else.
Still, they also knew that Zevran was … sexually inclined. A gorgeous bisexual disaster. He talked about his seductions all the time. And they were not.
Making an exception in their usual boundaries against flirting with people had led to this … awkward conversation.
Currently, he was inviting them to an Antivan massage.
The warden thought it was a shame that this flirty relationship would finally end between them. Still, they had to be honest.
"Zevran, I'm asexual. I'm not exactly sure what I would want to do with you. And I don't mean like Liliana, I'm not celibate for god. I'm just not really interested in orgasms ... Well, not most days, at least." they finally said, trying to sound calm.
They liked his company, they even were attracted to him. But they clearly had different boundaries around these things, to say the least. At least they had told him, even if things were sure to get very awkward in a moment.
"Oh! I am glad you said something. I was beginning to wonder if you preferred Morrigan. Hmm, let me try to seduce you again tomorrow. I'll make sure you won't regret it."
"What."
"Dear warden, surely you didn't think my only charms were orgasm related? I have seduced many types of people. None of your quality, to be sure, but several ace ones. In fact, let me tell you of an encounter I had with an Antivan noble not too long ago involving a carefully made white sauce pasta…"
As they listened to his story, they relaxed into a comfortable smile. He was ridiculous.
Just some comfortable love between Zevran and Asexual Warden Narial Tabris, featuring guest appearances by adorable friends. Requested by the wonderful softbuscemi
“You're staring at me.” Narial commented from across the camp, leaning on a well-muscled arm, lounging by the campfire, out of armor and stretched luxuriously like the hard ground was the plushest of couches. “Need something?” The Warden's tone was quiet and plain, but the slight smirk and quirk of thick dark brows held obvious teasing.
The assassin gave a coy grin as he looked over his companion's figure, out of armor for a change. His fellow elf was a little ways taller than him, and rather broader in shoulders and musculature in general. He was never quite positive if that was just differences that came through breeding – she was from Denerim's alienage which was far different stock from a half-Dalish Antivan's bloodlines would be – but she was also just a trained warrior. Either way, she was quite easy on the eyes in her own way. He could appreciate a pair of strong hands and arms as much as he could a pair of lovely eyes, and someone with both was a double threat, were they not?
“Just enjoying the view.” Zevran bowed forward, holding one arm to his chest, leaving the other free for Narial to reach out and grab, yanking her roguish love to sit by her. “Ah, so the trap is sprung! I should have known all along you could not keep your hands off me.”
She snorted, wrapping the arm not supporting her around his midsection easily. Zevran made dramatic faux-protests, but reclined lazily against his love's stomach to complete the odd 'sofa' look they apparently were going for. Being securely held and relaxing against someone he knew cared for him was certainly nothing to complain about, other than in play. The elven rogue knew his freedom was easily in reach, but it was also not half as appealing as lying about cuddling in the middle of camp.
“You two are being cute again.” Leliana laughed from in front of her tent, where she'd settled down with the team's warhound to pet and scratch at his ears. “She is going to have you as trained as our handsome friend here in time.”
The warrior decided to speak up at this, “They both came pre-trained, I had nothing to do with it.” Narial had closed her eyes but it didn't actually require seeing who Leliana mentioned to make it work. “Alistair's the one we had to train.”
A whine came from the other Warden, still seated with his dinner, “Heeeeey, what'd I do to get dragged into this?”
“You were untrained on arrival, that's what, weren't you listening?” the deadpan statement was followed by a low rumble of laughter from their leader, and hearing it reverberate through her chest like the purr of a large cat brought a content sigh from Zevran's lips, while the statement and laughter itself brought another whine to Alistair's, though this one was less serious.
“Hmph. You choose to play favorites and you pick the dog and the elf over me, Narial? I'm hurt! After all we've been through.” the human man sniffed and made his lip wibble for effect.
The other warrior's eyes didn't even open as she let out a heavy sigh through her nose, “Someone kindly throw a pillow at him, I can't be arsed.”
Zevran stretched back over his love's side, sliding through her grasp like a serpent, and managed to fetch a pillow from a nearby bedroll to hurl at Alistair over the fire. However, the effort left him draped over the taller elf's side like a blanket, his stomach taut and her arm around his upper thighs instead. Rather than risk making her uncomfortable with the position – though she hadn't complained – the assassin slid back down so he was against her once more.
“Are you positive you did not train him, even a little? I would think that position could easily have gotten lewd comments were it with anyone else.” Leliana cooed, though it was mostly an affectionate note. She was happy to see the blossoming relationship between two of her best friends not being impeded by sexual appetites or lack-thereof on one part or the other. A blooming romance was one of those things the woman just loved to see, especially when there was some good for both parties to be had.
This got a cocked eyebrow and a smirk from the blonde elf, “Do you truly think I would be so foolish as to risk insulting a warrior with some of my most sensitive bits in easy crushing range, my dear Leliana?” it was an evasion, but a half-hearted one. “I could easily make comments now that I am back in a safer position, if that would make you happier?”
Narial's eyes slid open at that comment and she smirked a little, “Oh Zev, I wouldn't do that to you. You know I'd never crush your ears, I am quite fond of them.” she sat up just enough to press a kiss to the tip of one of his ears before returning to resting on her arm. Playing the little evasion game with him to show she wasn't uncomfortable with the turn in conversation.
Her fellow elf laughed at her words, but it was cut off by a contented purr at the kiss to his ears. It was one of the easiest ways for her to get him to melt into her embrace, a tender touch from one so easily stronger than him, truly he had a weakness for such things and he'd never embraced it so wholly before. For all protests that she hadn't trained him, Zevran was sure he'd never been so easily brought to silence or even to blushing with such simple gestures before. But then, he'd only ever truly loved and felt loved few times before as well.
There were those who claimed that sex was a natural part of love and romance, and to remove that part removed a vital connection between people. The Antivan had always felt that advice was dubious, as if love was truly so linked with sex, brothels would not be so enduring with business. The opposite, he had never experienced being true till now. Sex was something that Narial had absolutely no interest in, and it had caused a few interesting misunderstandings when they'd first begun.
Zevran had been completely baffled as to how someone could so easily accept his charms or pull him for kisses or embraces, but seemingly want nothing of his invitations for anything more. He had met plenty of people in his life who wanted nothing of a relationship but would happily take him to bed...but someone who was interested in giving him fond kisses and pulling him close for a cuddle, but required nothing from him beyond? It was...new, to say the least.
The woman had also been just as nervous about his interests. Pursuing a relationship with someone who had experience and obviously enjoyed something she couldn't offer had been a bit scary at first. She'd dragged him to her tent to 'talk' one night – which turned out to be exactly what she meant and they'd had an actual discussion on the subject. Narial was explicit in the fact that she more than enjoyed Zevran's company, she cared a great deal about his presence and safety as well, but she knew she couldn't actually please him or offer certain things he might desire. Gifts that took hunting through a dungeon or a city for hours to find just to make him smile? That was possible. Kisses to make him blush up to his ears with just how delicate they could be? Doable. An embrace to make him feel like the Crows could never reach him again? Definitely. But she could never really offer him sex. And for once in his life of sex being essentially a currency...he found it was suddenly the thing he needed least in the world.
Now, the lack of intercourse in their relationship was more of a running joke with their friends than anything. The downright obscenely carnal rogue failing in both his assassination attempt and his seduction attempt, falling madly for a warrior who he could neither kill nor bed. It certainly sounded like a punchline. For all it was a lack of sex, there was not lack of physical intimacy. Getting to snuggle up to her when she wasn't fully clad in her armor? Little kisses on the ears? Backrubs when one or the other was tired or stressed? Physicality was an intricate part of their day-to-day, and maybe it mattered just a tad more because it was all their was.
Zev hummed mildly as he came back from his musings to realize Leliana and Alistair were chuckling at him, as he'd gone practically limp against Narial. The woman had taken her arm from around his middle to start stroking at the backs of one pointed ear with a calloused fingertip, and her blonde beloved really didn't have much he could or would do in protest of that. Let their friends laugh, it was their loss for not getting ear-rubs, now wasn't it?
“And here I thought I might see something scandalous if I came over to check on you all.” Wynne's mild tones entered the conversation easily, the mage wandering over from her tent to hand a book to Leliana that she'd promised to share on finishing.
The redhead gave a little titter after taking the book, “Thank you Wynne. But you know, I believe I have seen more incriminating displays during my time in the Chantry than I have in this camp.”
“If you're patient, maybe you can trick Alistair into licking a lamppost.” Zev suggested, “I hear he is fond of that. Or was that of sharing jellied ham with basilisks? Ah, I can never remember.”
The former Templar crossed his arms and tilted his nose up cockily, “I'll never tell, Zevran. You'll just have to wait till after I'm married to find out.”
“Tempting as that offer may be, I'm afraid I may have to decline, my friend. Our dear leader would likely have objections to our union.” the Antivan grinned slyly as he watched the other man's composure breaking.
Narial clicked her tongue quietly, “Don't tease him too much or he'll develop a thick skin, and then we might actually have to pay a real dowry when we marry him off. I am hoping to save on that because he's sulky and prone to bad jokes.”
The shorter elf leaned his head against her side once more, giving a contented coo, “And this is why I love you – a good understanding of economy.”
Leliana snickered, “You're just saying that in the hopes she will use whatever we save to buy you more gifts. But I shall have you know I was promised a new pair of shoes first and foremost before you even arrived.”
Zevran clutched at his chest with mock indignation, “You wound me! Implying that my undying love is less valuable than your precedence as a friend who has been around longer?”
The other elf clicked her tongue once more, stifling a yawn, “Oh just settle it with a game of Wicked Grace like civilized rogues. You can even let Alistair play, maybe he'll win back his right to choose his own marriage partner. It's unlikely, but it could happen.”
“Can I win back some of my dignity, too?” the Templar grinned at his friends, knowing their jokes were all harmless and given with love. “Or cheese. Either way.”
Wynne gave him a stern once-over from where she stood then smiled coyly, “Alistair, you know you cannot win back what you had little of to begin with. The only hope is to earn more, dear. Now, if we are to have a game before the night gets to late, I think I shall join you.”
Narial nudged affectionately at Zevran's ear, “Just don't take his armor, the lot of you. There are things I don't need to see.”
