In the pencils and pumps au does Tony ever introduce Steve to his parents?
I already answered this so I’m going to focus on Christmas Morning where there wasn’t an audience of people Steve needed to be on good behavior for:
“Steve oh my God,” Tony hisses after the third cinnamon roll. “Stop it.”
Steve looks at Tony, swallows a mouthful of gooey cinnamon roll and raisins, and says, “I will not.” And shoves another goddamn cinnamon roll in his mouth.
Maria still looks horrified. Howard looks as if he’s observing a science experiment–it’s horrible, and yet he can’t look away, curious as to what’s going to happen next.
“More coffee?” Jarvis asks pleasantly, and refills Steve’s mug. Steve uses it to help wash down his cinnamon rolls.
“Steve if you make yourself sick I’m going to break up with you,” Tony hisses after the sixth roll. He doesn’t mean it but honestly Maria has covered her mouth and continued to stare at Steve in horror and he’s kind of afraid that maybe his mother might throw up instead.
“You know me better than that,” Steve says, and absolutely does mean it. Tony watched him finish off an entire Goddamn pumpkin pie and have room for three of Natasha’s pastila at Thanksgiving. It’s kind of horrifying how much he can eat.
“You can imagine how hard it was to keep him fed in high school,” Sarah had lamented after Tony had silently watched Steve put away a dozen pancakes the next morning.
“Some orange juice,” Jarvis says pleasantly, putting a glass of orange juice next to Steve’s plate. Steve sips at it. The tartness of the juice goes well with the sweetness of the glaze on the cinnamon rolls.
“Steven if you love me you will not eat that last cinnamon roll,” Tony hisses as Steve brings the last cinnamon roll onto his plate.
“If you love me you will not be surprised when I eat this,” Steve says, and shoves the entire roll into his mouth.
Howard actually jerks back in his chair with a gasp. “At least cut it up,” Maria murmurs to herself, pale, but it’s too late–Steve is chewing, or attempting to chew, the entirety of the final cinnamon roll.
“Tea,” Jarvis says pleasantly, pouring the blond a cup of tea. Steve uses it to help him swallow the final cinnamon roll–it’s a bit more difficult than he wants to admit.
“This is the most bizarre pissing contest I’ve ever been in,” Howard says after Steve has served himself some fruit salad.
Maria stares at the wall, still pale. “Possibly,” she says slowly. “Because you didn’t actually have to participate.”
“I like cinnamon rolls,” Steve says, just a touch defensively.
The laugh that escapes Tony’s lips is slightly hysterical. “You like carbs.”
Steve can’t help a smile as he says, “Just because you refuse to eat more than one serving of starch a day doesn’t mean everyone is like that, Tony.”
Tony sniffs in disdain, but before he can retort, Maria turns her head to look a Steve, appearing more appalled than she had when he’d been shoving an entire cinnamon roll into his mouth. “Have you ever even seen Tony eat french fries,” she asks snidely.
“Mama!” Tony gasps, affronted. “Don’t tell Steve my weakness!”
“It’s horrifying,” Howard says after a moment.
“Dad!”
Come to think of it, no, Steve’s never seen Tony eat french fries. Tony would always order sweet potato fries or a salad if he could. Steve narrows his eyes at Tony suspiciously. Tony is blushing a delicious red. He wants to kiss the flush on the brunet’s chest.
“Eggs,” Jarvis says pleasantly, setting a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Steve.
Steve awkwardly starts eating the eggs. He gets the disconcerting feeling that Jarvis knew what Steve wanted to do.
(Maria and Howard are still somewhat cold and distanced, but Maria does make an obvious effort to converse with him. “Howard has always been a man of few words,” Maria says after noticing Steve’s expectant stare.
Jarvis scoffs, affronted, and says, “He has not.” Then he realizes what he said, looks politely mortified, and disappears into the kitchen without it looking like fleeing at all.)
